Chương 6
The checks stopped shortly before Margaret died.
Claire had always assumed Richard sent them to maintain leverage.
She had never spent most of the money.
It sat in a savings account she hated looking at.
"I got checks."
Sarah stared at her.
"You told me those were freelance payments."
"I lied."
"How much?"
"About eighty thousand total."
Sarah put down her coffee.
"Eighty thousand dollars?"
"Over two years."
"You took eighty thousand dollars from people you thought threatened Noah?"
"I took twelve thousand. The rest is still there."
"That's not the point."
"I had a baby, a toddler, no job for three months, and Daniel had disappeared."
Sarah rubbed her forehead.
"I know."
"No, you don't. You were in Vermont. Mom was dead. Dad wasn't speaking to me because I wouldn't tell him where I lived."
"I offered—"
"I know you offered."
Sarah stopped.
Claire hated the resentment in her own voice.
It was old and unfair and still alive.
Sarah sat down.
"Okay."
Claire stared into her coffee.
"Sorry."
"Don't be. I wasn't there enough."
"You had your own life."
"I had excuses."
They sat quietly.
Noah appeared in the doorway wearing dinosaur pajamas.
"Is Ethan coming?"
Both women looked at him.
Claire sighed.
"Good morning."
"Good morning. Is Ethan coming?"
"Not today."
His face fell.
Claire hated herself a little.
"Tomorrow we're going to see him."
"You said the day after Christmas."
"Tomorrow is the day after Christmas Eve."
Noah frowned.
Sarah said, "Christmas math."
Noah ignored her.
"Can I call him?"
Claire looked at the phone.
Then at her son.
"After breakfast."
Ethan answered on the first ring.
"Hello?"
Noah looked at Claire.
She nodded.
"Hi."
There was a pause.
"Hi, Noah."
Noah smiled.
Claire looked away.
"What are you doing?"
"Standing in a hotel room holding one shoe."
"Why?"
"I was putting it on when you called."
"Why are you holding it?"
Ethan laughed.
"That's a good question."
Noah sat at the kitchen table.
"I have dinosaur pancakes."
"That sounds better than what I have."
"What do you have?"
"Coffee."
"That's not breakfast."
"You're right."
Claire listened from the counter.
The conversation was painfully ordinary.
Noah told Ethan that Lily had stolen one of his pancakes despite having her own. Ethan said sisters did that. Noah asked how he knew. Ethan said he had one.
"What's her name?"
"Victoria."
"Is she my aunt?"
Ethan hesitated.
"Yes."
"Does she know me?"
"She knows about you now."
"Does she want to meet me?"
Another pause.
"Very much."
Claire's shoulders tightened.
Noah saw.
He changed the subject.
That bothered Claire more than if he had argued.
He was already managing her.
After the call, he ate his pancakes without mentioning Victoria again.
Claire texted Ethan.
Don't discuss your family with him until we understand what happened.
The reply came immediately.
Fair.
Then another.
But Claire, they are his family too.
She typed three responses and deleted all of them.
Christmas passed awkwardly.
Noah opened presents, played with Lily, watched half a movie, and checked the clock seventeen times.
Claire noticed every one.
The next morning, Ethan was waiting at the DNA collection center fifteen minutes early.
He wore a charcoal sweater instead of black.
No long coat.
No business suit.
He looked less like the man Claire remembered and more like someone who had slept badly.
Noah walked straight to him.
"Hi."
Ethan smiled.
"Hi."
Lily hid behind Claire.
Ethan didn't approach her.
The technician explained the cheek swab.
Noah looked disappointed.
"That's it?"
"That's it," the technician said.
"I thought there'd be blood."
"Nope."
"Cool."
Ethan looked at Claire.
"He's disappointed there's no blood."
"He's six."
"Is that normal?"
"You're asking the wrong parent."
The word parent hung there.
Claire regretted it.
Ethan didn't react visibly.
After the samples were taken, the technician told them results would be available in two business days.
Ethan said, "Can we get breakfast?"
Claire opened her mouth.
Noah said, "Yes."
She looked at him.
"What?"
"You said I could know him."
Claire had said no such thing in those words.
But he wasn't entirely wrong.
They went to a diner two blocks away.
Lily ordered chocolate-chip pancakes and then ate Claire's toast.
Noah asked Ethan twenty-three questions.
Claire counted.
Where did he live?
New York.
Did he have a dog?
No.
Why not?
Travel.
Did he like baseball?
Yes.
Which team?
Yankees.
Noah made a face.
Ethan looked alarmed.
"What?"
"Mom says Yankees fans are emotionally damaged."
Ethan slowly looked at Claire.
She drank her coffee.
"I may have said that."
"That's parental alienation."
"Call your attorney."
For the first time, Noah laughed with both of them.
The sound hurt.
It showed Claire what could have existed.
Ethan heard it too.
His smile faded first.
After breakfast, Noah and Lily went with Sarah to a bookstore next door.
Claire and Ethan remained in the booth.
He pushed his coffee aside.
"My sister found something."
Claire waited.
"Mom had a private account Dad didn't control. The payments to you came from it."
Claire looked down.
"That doesn't make her innocent."
"I know."
"She helped your father."
"I know."
"She gave me the note."
"I know."
Ethan rubbed his thumb against the edge of the table.
"Victoria also found emails."
Claire looked up.
"Between Mom and Dad."
"What do they say?"
"That Dad wanted you gone."
"No surprise."
"And that Mom told him she'd handled it."
Claire's stomach tightened.
"Handled what?"
"Us."
He took out his phone.
Claire didn't reach for it.
"Read it."
Ethan did.
"Richard: Has she agreed to the clinic? Margaret: Stop asking me questions you don't want answered. She will not be part of Ethan's life. I have made sure of it."
Claire stared at him.
"When?"
"December twenty-sixth."
The day after Claire had fled Connecticut.
Ethan continued.
"Three days later Mom emailed Victoria. She wrote, 'Claire is safe. Richard must never learn where.'"
Claire's eyes filled before she could stop them.
May you like
She looked toward the window.
Cars passed through dirty snow.
