Chương 4
Claire answered immediately.
“Rachel?”
The voice was ordinary.
That felt insulting too.
Rachel had somehow expected a particular sound. Seductive, maybe. Smug. Something easy to hate.
Instead Claire sounded tired.
“What did he tell you?” Rachel asked.
There was a pause.
“About us?”
“About everything.”
Another pause.
“I don’t know what everything means anymore.”
Rachel sat at the kitchen table.
Dana was in the backyard with Mia and Lily, drawing with sidewalk chalk on wet concrete. Emma and Sophie were upstairs.
“Did you know he was married?”
“Yes.”
Rachel closed her eyes.
“Thank you for not insulting me with a lie.”
“I don’t think I have the right.”
“Probably not.”
“No.”
Claire’s agreement irritated her.
Rachel stood and walked to the window.
“Why now?”
“Owen found out about you.”
“How?”
“Daniel showed him a picture.”
Rachel stopped.
“What picture?”
“The family picture from today.”
Rachel turned toward Daniel’s phone on the counter, though it was no longer relevant.
“What?”
“He came by this morning.”
“This morning?”
“Yes.”
Before the conservatory.
Before the family photograph.
Rachel pressed her free hand against the window frame.
Claire continued.
“He brought Owen a birthday present early because he thought he might be traveling in November.”
“That’s not for three months.”
“I know.”
“What was the present?”
“I don’t understand why that matters.”
“It doesn’t. I’m asking.”
“A telescope.”
Rachel pictured Daniel choosing a telescope.
She hated that she could picture it.
“He showed Owen pictures of Emma and the girls,” Claire said. “I didn’t know he was going to. Owen asked if they were his sisters.”
Rachel’s throat tightened.
“And Daniel said what?”
“That they were.”
Rachel stared out at Dana kneeling beside Mia.
“He told him?”
“Yes.”
“He told a six-year-old before he told me.”
“I told him that was unacceptable.”
Rachel laughed without humor.
“That must have been a productive conversation.”
Claire went quiet.
Rachel regretted the line immediately, which made her angrier.
“What did Owen ask?”
“He wanted to know if the girls knew about him.”
“And?”
“Daniel said no.”
Rachel could hear Claire breathing.
“Owen asked why.”
Rachel said nothing.
“Daniel told him adults had made mistakes and he was trying to find the right time.”
Rachel almost dropped the phone.
“The right time.”
“I know.”
“No. Apparently everybody knows except me.”
Claire’s voice hardened slightly.
“You think I enjoyed this?”
Rachel straightened.
There it was.
Something human.
Something ugly enough to trust.
“I don’t care what you enjoyed.”
“I understand that.”
“Stop saying you understand.”
“Fine. I don’t understand what it feels like to be you. But don’t turn me into someone who spent seven years enjoying your husband’s double life. I spent most of those years asking him to stop making my son feel like something he had to hide.”
Rachel said, “You slept with a married man.”
“Yes.”
“And then let him lie to his wife for years.”
“Yes.”
Claire’s voice broke slightly on the second word, but she kept speaking.
“And I’ve had a lot of time to become disgusted with who I was when it started.”
Rachel sat down again.
She hated hearing remorse.
Hatred had been easier.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Cowardice.”
The answer came immediately.
Rachel closed her mouth.
Claire continued.
“Then Owen got older. Daniel was good with him. I told myself having some father was better than blowing up five other children’s lives.”
“Four.”
“What?”
“I had four children.”
Claire went silent.
Rachel’s hand went instinctively to her stomach.
“For another few weeks,” she added.
“Oh.”
The word was barely audible.
“So now you know,” Rachel said.
“I’m sorry.”
“You already used that one.”
“I know.”
Rachel nearly told her to stop saying that too.
Instead she asked, “Why the message?”
“Because Owen asked if he could meet them.”
Rachel looked toward the stairs.
“And Daniel?”
“He said he needed more time.”
“So you threatened him.”
“Yes.”
“Why today?”
“Because Owen saw the photo and said he wanted to be in the next one.”
Rachel’s eyes filled before she could stop them.
She wiped them with the side of her hand.
Outside, Lily had drawn something huge and purple across the patio.
Claire said, “Rachel?”
“What?”
“The last message wasn’t a threat.”
“He already knows who you are.”
“I meant Owen knows you’re Daniel’s wife. He knows you’re the girls’ mother. He asked if you hate him.”
Rachel looked down.
“He asked that?”
“Yes.”
“Why would he think I hate him?”
“Because he’s six.”
Rachel leaned back in the chair.
For the first time since the conservatory, her anger shifted direction without diminishing.
Not away from Daniel.
Around him.
It expanded to include the damage created by years of waiting.
“What does Owen know about the affair?”
“Nothing. He knows Daniel didn’t live with us and that Daniel has another family. That’s all.”
“Does he call him Dad?”
“Yes.”
Rachel closed her eyes.
The question from the conservatory returned to her.
Tell our daughters why another little boy calls you Dad.
She had meant it as an accusation.
To Owen it was simply a fact.
“Do you want Daniel?” Rachel asked.
Claire made a surprised sound.
“No.”
“That was quick.”
“I haven’t wanted Daniel for years.”
“You kept seeing him.”
“He saw his son.”
“Sometimes at your house.”
“Sometimes. Mostly parks, restaurants, museums. I’m not asking you to trust my description of boundaries. You shouldn’t.”
That was the first thing Claire said that Rachel fully believed.
“Send me proof.”
“Of what?”
“The timeline. The DNA test. Payments. Messages. Whatever you have.”
Claire hesitated.
“Some of those messages are ugly.”
“Good.”
“I mean from me too.”
“Even better.”
After the call, Rachel sat at the kitchen table for a long time.
Dana came inside carrying Mia, whose knees were streaked with blue chalk.
“You look worse.”
“Thank you.”
“I mean different worse.”
“Still excellent.”
Dana set Mia down.
“Want to tell me?”
Rachel handed her the phone.
Dana read the newest message from Claire, then looked up.
May you like
“Six years old.”
“Almost seven.”
