Chương 9
“I won’t.”
Claire tightened her grip.
“You already made me regret trusting you today.”
He looked down at her hand.
“I know.”
The nurses unlocked the bed.
The wheels began moving.
The ceiling passed above Claire in white fluorescent rectangles.
At the end of the hall, double doors opened toward the operating suite.
Ethan walked beside her until a nurse stopped him at a red line on the floor.
“You wait here until we call you.”
His hand slipped out of Claire’s.
She looked back once as the bed rolled through the doors.
Ethan stood alone in blue paper clothing beneath the fluorescent lights, holding nothing now, with no keys in his hand and no one between him and the consequences of what he had chosen.
The operating room was colder than Claire expected, and the brightness made every surface look scrubbed of ordinary life.
A nurse helped her sit on the edge of the table while Dr. Monroe stood behind her preparing the spinal.
“Curl forward for me.”
Claire tried.
Her stomach made the instruction almost ridiculous.
“I’m approximately the shape of a parade balloon.”
Dr. Monroe smiled behind her mask.
“That is medically close enough.”
Claire bent as far as she could.
A nurse stood in front of her and let Claire hold both of her forearms.
The woman’s name badge said MARISOL.
Claire focused on the small silver cross clipped beside it.
“Cold cleaning solution.”
Claire flinched when it touched her back.
“Sorry.”
“You didn’t do anything.”
“I know.”
Claire breathed through another contraction while Dr. Monroe worked.
The contraction ended.
Then came pressure at her spine, a strange electric sensation, and warmth moving down her legs.
“Lie back now.”
They guided her onto the table.
Her legs became heavy almost immediately.
Claire stared at them beneath the drape.
She could see their shape but could no longer make them obey.
“I hate that.”
“Everyone hates that part.”
Dr. Monroe touched Claire’s shoulder.
“You’re doing well.”
Claire looked toward the doors.
“Where’s Ethan?”
“They’ll bring him in once we’re ready.”
The surgical team moved around her with calm efficiency.
Metal instruments clicked.
Plastic packaging tore.
Someone counted sponges aloud.
Dr. Patel entered wearing a mask and cap, followed by another obstetrician Claire had never met.
“This is Dr. Kim.”
Dr. Kim leaned toward Claire.
“I’ll be assisting.”
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Claire looked between them.
“You both look extremely cheerful for people about to cut me open.”
Dr. Kim’s eyes smiled.
“We save the gloomy faces for paperwork.”
Claire let out a breath that almost became a laugh.
A blue drape rose across her chest.
The room disappeared below it.
Dr. Monroe tested sensation along Claire’s abdomen.
“Sharp or pressure?”
“Pressure.”
“Sharp or pressure?”
“Pressure.”
“Good.”
Claire’s heart started beating harder.
The monitor beside her translated it into sound.
“Can you turn that down?”
Dr. Monroe lowered the volume.
The doors opened.
Ethan came in wearing a mask, cap, and blue disposable suit.
He looked around as though he had entered the wrong room.
A nurse pointed to the stool beside Claire’s head.
“Sit there.”
Ethan obeyed.
He sat without touching her.
Claire noticed that first.
His hands rested on his knees.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi.”
His eyes searched hers.
“You okay?”
“No.”
“Right.”
He nodded.
“Stupid question.”
Claire looked toward Dr. Monroe.
“Can he ask one stupid question before we start?”
Dr. Monroe glanced at the surgeons.
“You have about thirty seconds.”
Ethan looked at Claire.
His eyes were wet again.
She braced herself.
Instead he said, “Do you still want the names we picked?”
Claire blinked.
Of everything he might have asked, that was not what she expected.
“Yes.”
“Both?”
“Yes.”
He nodded once.
“Okay.”
Claire looked at him.
“What did you think I was going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Rename them out of spite?”
“No.”
“You looked worried.”
“I’m worried about everything.”
Claire almost told him that was appropriate.
Dr. Patel’s voice came from behind the drape.
“We’re starting.”
Claire’s breath caught.
Ethan’s hands tightened on his knees.
Dr. Monroe leaned closer.
“You may feel pulling and pressure, but you should not feel pain.”
Claire nodded.
The first sensations were strange rather than frightening.
Movement.
Pressure.
A tugging she could not connect to anything visible.
She stared at Ethan.
He stared back.
For several minutes neither of them spoke.
The silence between them was unlike the silences they had shared at home.
There was no television filling it.
No dishwasher.
No mutual agreement to postpone an argument.
This silence had nowhere to hide.
Then Claire felt a stronger pull.
Dr. Patel’s voice changed.
“Baby A is coming.”
Claire stopped breathing.
Ethan leaned forward without realizing it.
A second later a cry broke through the room.
It was high and furious.
Claire’s entire face crumpled.
“Oh.”
Ethan made a sound beside her.
Not a word.
Just breath breaking.
“That’s your first baby,” Dr. Monroe said.
Claire laughed and cried at the same time.
“Is she okay?”
“She looks good.”
“Girl?”
“Yes.”
Ethan’s eyes widened.
“Our girl.”
Claire looked at him.
He was crying openly now.
She had seen Ethan cry only twice before.
Once when his grandfather died.
Once when they learned there were two heartbeats.
The baby cried again.
Louder.
Claire closed her eyes.
“Hi, Nora.”
Ethan covered his mouth.
Across the room, a nurse repeated the name.
“Nora.”
Claire opened her eyes.
“Is she really okay?”
A pediatric nurse answered.
“She’s doing well.”
Claire could not see the baby from where she lay.
The drape felt suddenly enormous.
“Can I see her?”
“In just a moment.”
Another pull inside her.
Then Dr. Patel spoke again.
“We’re working on Baby B.”
The room changed.
Not dramatically.
Nobody shouted.
Nobody ran.
But the easy voices disappeared.
Claire heard Dr. Kim say something too quietly for her to understand.
Dr. Patel answered.
Ethan looked toward the drape.
“What’s happening?”
Dr. Monroe touched Claire’s shoulder.
“They’re delivering the second baby.”
Claire watched her face.
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“What’s wrong?”
“We need to give them a minute.”
