Chương 9
Karen shut her eyes.
“I promised her.”
Mark stared at her.
Behind him, Lily yawned.
It was such an ordinary sound that it made the moment unbearable.
I stepped toward her.
“Come on, kiddo.”
She let me take her hand.
Mark never looked away from Karen.
“Tell me.”
Karen opened her eyes.
“She was gambling.”
Mark blinked.
“What?”
“Cards mostly.”
“Where?”
“Private games.”
He stared at her as if the answer had been delivered in the wrong language.
Karen continued before he could stop her.
“She started last spring.”
“Private games where?”
“Different houses.”
“You knew.”
“Not at first.”
“You knew enough to cover for her.”
“She said it was under control.”
Mark laughed.
A small, broken sound.
“Of course she did.”
Karen began crying again.
“She owed money.”
That changed his face.
“How much?”
“I don’t know exactly.”
“How much?”
“She told me eight thousand.”
Mark went perfectly still.
Karen swallowed.
“That was in August.”
He looked toward me.
The ride-share charges.
The extra shifts.
Natalie asking him to work nights.
Mark’s voice barely carried.
“And now?”
Karen shook her head.
“She stopped telling me.”
Lily squeezed my hand.
“Grandpa?”
“Yes?”
“I’m tired.”
I picked her up.
She was getting too big for it, and my knee complained immediately.
I did not care.
As I carried her down the hall, I heard Mark ask one final question.
“Was she leaving Lily asleep so she could gamble?”
Karen’s answer came after a long silence.
“I think she was making sure Lily stayed asleep.”
Mark did not answer her.
I settled Lily back into the daybed and pulled the blanket over her shoulders.
She was asleep again before I reached the doorway.
When I returned to the kitchen, Karen was sitting at the table with both hands wrapped around a mug she had not touched.
Mark stood by the counter.
His wedding ring was lying beside the toaster.
I noticed it before I noticed anything else.
Karen did too.
“Mark.”
“Don’t.”
“I didn’t know it had gotten this bad.”
“You knew she was gambling.”
“Yes.”
“You knew she was leaving Lily.”
“I knew she went out.”
“You knew Lily was home.”
Karen’s fingers tightened around the mug.
“I thought Natalie had arrangements.”
“What arrangements?”
“Sometimes me.”
“Sometimes?”
“She said other people helped.”
“What people?”
“I don’t know.”
Mark leaned toward her.
“You keep not knowing a lot for someone who knew enough to lie.”
“I never lied to you.”
“You withheld the truth until my daughter ended up in a hospital.”
Karen looked down.
I stepped between them before the conversation became something Lily might hear from the hallway.
“Keep your voices down.”
Mark turned on me.
“Why?”
“Because she’s sleeping.”
“She’s been drugged for months, Dad.”
“I know.”
“No, you keep acting like if we all speak quietly enough, this becomes manageable.”
“That isn’t what I’m doing.”
“Then what are you doing?”
I had no good answer.
Keeping people from shouting was a habit I had mistaken for usefulness most of my life.
Karen put down the mug.
“There’s more.”
Mark laughed without smiling.
“There’s always more.”
She opened her purse and pulled out her phone.
“I brought this because I didn’t want to send anything.”
Mark looked at the screen but did not touch it.
“What?”
“Messages.”
“From Natalie?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Last month.”
Karen unlocked the phone with shaking fingers and opened a thread.
Natalie’s messages were short.
Can you spot me again?
I’ll pay you after Mark’s overtime check.
Please don’t tell him.
I’m fixing it.
Karen had replied, How much?
Natalie answered, 2500.
Mark took the phone.
He read the exchange once.
Then again.
“That’s not eight thousand.”
“No.”
“How much did you give her?”
Karen did not answer.
Mark looked up.
“How much?”
“Five.”
“Five hundred?”
“Five thousand.”
His face emptied.
“You gave her five thousand dollars.”
“It was my money.”
“That isn’t the problem.”
“She said somebody was threatening her.”
That silenced him.
I pulled out a chair.
“Threatening how?”
Karen shook her head.
“She wouldn’t say.”
“Did you see messages?”
“No.”
“Did you hear anyone call?”
“No.”
“Then why did you believe her?”
“Because she was scared.”
Mark set the phone on the table.
“What did she need twenty-five hundred for last month?”
“She said interest.”
“On what?”
“Debt.”
“What kind of private card game charges interest?”
Karen looked at him.
“That’s when I realized it wasn’t just cards.”
The refrigerator compressor clicked on behind us.
Nobody spoke for several seconds.
Finally Mark said, “What was it?”
“She was betting online too.”
I frowned.
“Sports?”
“Some.”
Karen rubbed her thumb over the edge of the mug.
“Casino apps.”
Mark closed his eyes.
“Jesus Christ.”
“She had accounts I didn’t understand.”
“Did you see them?”
“One.”
“How much was in it?”
“I don’t know.”
“How much had she lost?”
“I don’t know.”
He struck the counter with the side of his fist.
The sound made all three of us freeze.
From the hallway, nothing moved.
Mark lowered his voice.
“Stop saying you don’t know.”
Karen’s face hardened.
“You think I wanted any of this?”
“No.”
“You think I enjoyed giving my daughter money and lying awake wondering whether she’d lose it?”
“I think you kept protecting her after protecting her stopped being protection.”
That landed.
Karen looked away.
I watched her shoulders sag.
“She said if I told you, you’d take Lily and leave.”
Mark stared at her.
“I might have.”
“I know.”
“You knew that then?”
“Yes.”
“Then maybe you should have told me.”
Karen covered her eyes with one hand.
“I thought I was buying her time.”
“To do what?”
“To stop.”
“She didn’t.”
“I know.”
“To tell me?”
“No.”
“To get help?”
“No.”
Mark picked up his ring from beside the toaster.
For a moment I thought he might put it back on.
Instead he closed it in his fist.
Karen whispered, “She tried.”
“How?”
“She went to a meeting.”
“When?”
“September.”
“Once?”
“I think twice.”
May you like
“That’s not trying.”
“It may have been all she could do.”
