Chương 12
“I was trying to keep you from finding out.”
“Finding out what?”
“Everything.”
“That was the problem?”
“I was scared.”
“So you hid the threat.”
“I thought I could pay him.”
“With what?”
“I was trying.”
“With my overtime?”
Natalie’s mouth closed.
Mark nodded slowly.
“That’s why.”
She looked at him.
“You kept pushing me to take shifts because you needed me gone and needed the money.”
“It wasn’t only that.”
“What else?”
She did not answer.
Shaw asked whether Dean had ever come to the house.
Natalie shook her head.
“Not that I know.”
“Has Melissa?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Lots of times.”
“For what?”
“School stuff.”
“Cards?”
“Once.”
Mark rubbed his forehead.
“I remember that.”
Natalie looked at him.
“You were upstairs fixing the bathroom fan.”
“I remember.”
I watched him reconstruct the evening.
Melissa at the kitchen table.
Natalie pouring wine.
Lily watching television.
Mark upstairs with a screwdriver.
An ordinary Saturday becoming evidence months later.
Shaw asked for Melissa’s address.
Natalie gave it.
He stepped away and spoke quietly into his radio.
Mark looked at Natalie.
“Why did you drug Lily?”
She folded in on herself.
“I didn’t at first.”
“That isn’t what I asked.”
“She kept waking up.”
“Because she’s eight.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t.”
“She would call me.”
“Then stay home.”
“I was trying to win the money back.”
Mark stared at her.
Natalie continued too quickly.
“I know how that sounds.”
“There is no version where it sounds different.”
“I was behind.”
“So you left again.”
“Yes.”
“And she called you.”
“Yes.”
“And then what?”
Natalie looked toward the open front door.
“The first time, I came home.”
Mark’s jaw tightened.
“The first time.”
“She was crying.”
“Because she woke up alone.”
“Yes.”
“What did you tell her?”
“That I went to get groceries.”
“At midnight?”
“I panicked.”
Mark covered his mouth with one hand.
I could see him trying not to shout.
Shaw came back.
“Keep going.”
Natalie stared at the concrete.
“The next time she woke up, she called Mark.”
Mark went still.
August.
The maintenance shutdown.
The phone call from Lily.
When are you coming home?
I watched the recognition hit him.
“You were gone.”
Natalie nodded.
“When she called me, you were gone.”
“Yes.”
“And when I told her to wake you up?”
“I wasn’t there.”
Mark turned away.
His shoulders began shaking.
He pressed his palm against the roof of my truck.
For a moment none of us spoke.
Then he asked, without turning around, “What did she do?”
Natalie whispered, “She waited.”
“How long?”
“I don’t know.”
“How long?”
“Maybe forty minutes.”
I closed my eyes.
Forty minutes is not long when you are waiting at a mechanic’s shop or sitting through an airport delay.
Forty minutes is enormous when you are eight years old in a dark house wondering why neither parent is coming.
Mark turned.
“And after that?”
“I stopped going out for a while.”
“How long?”
“A couple weeks.”
“And then?”
“I started again.”
He nodded once, as if he had expected nothing better.
“When did the medicine start?”
Natalie did not answer.
Shaw repeated the question.
“Late August.”
“What did you give her?”
“Melatonin first.”
“Dose?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then?”
“Benadryl.”
Shaw’s voice sharpened.
“How much?”
“I followed the bottle.”
“For an eight-year-old?”
“I thought so.”
“You thought so?”
“I was careful.”
Mark made a sound of disbelief.
Natalie’s eyes filled again.
“I know that doesn’t mean anything now.”
“What about the prescription medication?”
Shaw asked.
She looked at me.
Not Mark.
Me.
I had no idea why.
Maybe because I had been the first one Lily told.
Maybe because Natalie still thought some part of me would protect the family from itself.
“It happened once.”
Mark’s voice came low.
“The test suggests repeated exposure.”
Natalie looked back at him.
“I only crushed one pill.”
“When?”
“Last week.”
Shaw said nothing.
Mark stared.
“Then where did the other exposure come from?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s not good enough.”
“I don’t.”
Mark moved closer.
“You said you gave it once.”
“Yes.”
“So either you’re lying now or somebody else gave it to her.”
Natalie’s face tightened.
“I didn’t say somebody else.”
“You accused me.”
“I said you gave her melatonin.”
“You told Denise I made drinks.”
“You did.”
“Not with prescription sleeping pills.”
“I never said that.”
“You let her think it.”
“I was scared.”
Mark’s face twisted.
“That phrase is getting old.”
Shaw interrupted.
“Mrs. Whitaker, did your mother ever administer zolpidem to Lily?”
“No.”
“Are you certain?”
“Yes.”
“Did Melissa Grant ever care for Lily?”
Natalie hesitated.
Mark noticed.
“What?”
“She stayed with Lily once.”
“When?”
“September.”
“Why?”
“I went to a game.”
“Where was I?”
“Work.”
“Did Melissa stay at our house?”
“Yes.”
Mark took a step backward.
“Was Lily given anything that night?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“I left before bedtime.”
Shaw asked, “Did Melissa know you were using medication to keep Lily asleep?”
Natalie looked at him.
“I never told her.”
“That wasn’t my question.”
Natalie rubbed her arms.
“She might have known.”
“How?”
“She saw me put Benadryl in juice once.”
The driveway went silent again.
“When?”
“At her house.”
Mark stared.
“You drugged Lily at somebody else’s house?”
“It wasn’t like that.”
His laugh was almost a bark.
“You need new words.”
“We had brought the kids over.”
“Kids?”
“Melissa’s daughter was there.”
Shaw asked, “Was the other child given medication?”
“No.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“Why was Lily?”
“She was restless.”
Mark looked sick.
“She was restless.”
Natalie’s voice cracked.
“I wanted her to settle down.”
“For what?”
Natalie looked away.
Shaw said, “For the game?”
“Yes.”
I felt something inside me shift from fear to a colder kind of anger.
The drugging had not begun only because Natalie wanted to leave Lily alone.
She had crossed the line earlier.
First for convenience.
Then for secrecy.
Then because the line had stopped feeling like a line.
May you like
Shaw seemed to reach the same conclusion.
“How many times did Melissa see you give Lily medication?”
