Chương 9
“They might never be ready.”
“That’s their choice.”
Daniel looked at Benny.
For four years he had visited Jenna’s grave and believed he was entitled to stand there.
Now he was not sure he was entitled to return.
News of Claire’s survival became public two days later.
Daniel learned about it because a coworker knocked on his office door and held up a phone.
“Is this...?”
Daniel looked at the headline.
LOCAL WOMAN DECLARED DEAD FOUR YEARS AGO FOUND ALIVE.
His coworker lowered the phone.
“Oh, man.”
Daniel hated those two words.
By noon, reporters had called his office.
By one, someone posted a photograph of Daniel and Lily getting off the train.
By three, Claire’s old high school friends were sharing memorial photographs alongside posts about miracles.
Miracle made Daniel angrier than anything.
There was nothing miraculous about Jenna Morales spending four years beneath the wrong name.
He deleted his social media apps.
Leah texted him a screenshot anyway.
A stranger had written that Daniel must have known.
Another stranger said Claire had obviously escaped an abusive husband.
A third insisted Claire had been kidnapped by organized criminals.
People built stories because facts were slower.
Daniel wanted to answer every one of them.
Instead he went home and fixed a loose kitchen drawer.
It had been sticking for months.
He removed it, tightened two screws, adjusted the track, put it back, opened it, closed it, then opened it again.
Lily watched from the doorway.
“Why are you doing that?”
“It was broken.”
“It was barely broken.”
“That’s still broken.”
She considered this.
“Are you mad?”
“Yes.”
“At the drawer?”
“No.”
“Okay.”
She left.
Daniel sat on the kitchen floor for ten minutes after she did.
Claire called that evening.
He almost ignored it.
Then he answered.
“Hi.”
Her voice through a phone was worse than seeing her.
It sounded like every ordinary call during their marriage.
Can you get milk?
Did you pay the electric bill?
Lily threw up.
I’m running late.
“Hi,” he said.
“I heard about Jenna.”
Daniel closed his eyes.
“You knew before I did.”
“I knew whose body it probably was. I didn’t know until DNA.”
“You knew enough.”
“Yes.”
He waited for her to say she was sorry.
She did not.
That almost made him respect her more.
“Her mother wants to speak to me,” Claire said.
Daniel sat up.
“How do you know?”
“Investigator Harris called my attorney.”
“Are you going?”
“If she still wants me there after she hears everything.”
“She knows?”
“She knows I stayed hidden.”
“That’s not everything.”
Claire went quiet.
“No.”
Daniel looked toward Lily’s bedroom.
“Why did you really come back?”
“I told you.”
“No. You gave me pieces.”
“Ross died.”
“That gave you permission.”
“Yes.”
“You saw the train trip.”
“Yes.”
“That gave you a location.”
“Yes.”
“What made you actually buy the ticket?”
Claire breathed out.
“My fake license expires next month.”
Daniel said nothing.
“I went to renew it,” she continued. “I sat outside the office for an hour.”
“That’s it?”
“No. A woman came out with a little girl about Lily’s age. The girl was mad because her picture looked bad.”
Daniel waited.
“The mother told her they’d fix it when she was sixteen.”
Claire’s voice changed slightly.
“I realized I was planning the next eight years as Anna.”
Daniel stared at the kitchen drawer.
Claire continued.
“I wasn’t waiting to become brave anymore. I had built a life where I never had to be.”
He hated how human that sounded.
“Where were you living?”
“Boise.”
“What did you do?”
“Payroll for a plumbing supply company.”
Daniel laughed.
“I’m sorry.”
“No. It’s fair.”
“Claire Carter died and became a payroll clerk in Idaho.”
“I was good at it.”
“You were always good at spreadsheets.”
“I still hate pivot tables.”
He laughed again.
This time neither of them stopped it.
The laughter lasted three seconds.
Then it became painful.
Daniel said, “You don’t get to make me remember liking you.”
Claire went silent.
“That sounded awful,” he said.
“It sounded true.”
He rubbed his eyes.
“What happens now?”
“My attorney says there will probably be charges related to false documents and statements. The financial investigation into Merrick is reopening.”
“Because of you?”
“Partly. The records I kept weren’t all lost.”
Daniel sat straighter.
“What records?”
“I emailed some files to an account Ross didn’t know about.”
“Four years ago?”
“Yes.”
“And you never gave them to anyone?”
“I was afraid they would prove what I had done too.”
Daniel stared at the wall.
“Unbelievable.”
“I turned them over last week.”
“Because your attorney told you to.”
“Because hiding them had already cost enough.”
“That sounds like something an attorney told you to say.”
Claire sighed.
“It does.”
“Did one?”
“No.”
He believed her.
That annoyed him.
“Lily wants to see you.”
Claire did not speak.
Daniel heard a small sound through the phone.
“Are you crying?”
“No.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“I’m aware.”
“You’re also a historically ambitious liar.”
“That was deserved.”
Daniel stood.
He walked to the window.
The backyard was dark.
Someone down the street had put up Christmas lights and not taken them down yet.
“Seeing her is not the same as coming back into her life.”
“I know.”
“Do not say that.”
“Sorry.”
“She has a therapist now.”
Claire made another small sound.
Daniel continued.
“You’ll meet with the therapist first. Then maybe a supervised visit.”
“Okay.”
“You don’t tell Lily about Ross.”
“Okay.”
“You don’t tell her about Jenna.”
“Okay.”
“You don’t make promises.”
Claire paused.
“I can promise I won’t disappear.”
Daniel gripped the phone.
“No.”
“What?”
“You cannot promise her something because you need to believe it about yourself.”
Claire went silent.
“You show up,” he said. “Again and again. Then maybe someday she decides what that means.”
When Claire answered, her voice was barely audible.
May you like
“Okay.”
The first visit happened in a therapist’s office with toys arranged on shelves and tissues positioned so deliberately that Daniel resented them.
