Chương 6
“Where is he now?”
“I truly don’t know.”
Emily took out her phone.
Robert watched.
“What are you doing?”
“Finding him.”
Linda stood.
“Tonight?”
“Yes.”
“You’re not thinking clearly.”
Emily looked at her.
“You don’t get to evaluate my thinking.”
“I’m not trying to control you.”
“That might be the funniest thing you’ve ever said.”
Linda sat again.
Emily searched Ethan’s name.
Too many results.
She added his old hometown.
A LinkedIn profile appeared.
Different city.
Different job.
The photo was recent enough for her to recognize him.
Older.
Beard.
A line between his eyebrows that had not been there at twenty-four.
Denver.
She stared at the screen.
Robert said, “Is that him?”
“Yes.”
Emily did not message him.
Not yet.
The third bundle was thinner.
It contained copies of medical records.
She read Noah’s birth date.
She had celebrated that date for years without knowing it.
Not celebrated exactly.
Survived.
Every February 18, she bought a cupcake from a bakery near her apartment, took it home, and threw it away the next morning.
She had never told anybody.
No candles.
No photographs.
Just one cupcake.
Some years chocolate.
Some years vanilla.
Once red velvet, which she hated.
She looked toward the stairs.
Noah was eleven years old.
Eleven cupcakes.
She put the papers down.
“I need air.”
Robert glanced at the window.
“It’s raining.”
Emily almost smiled.
“Thank you.”
She walked onto the covered back porch.
The lake was black except where lightning faintly silvered the surface.
The rain had softened.
Water dripped from the gutter in a steady stream.
Emily sat on the wooden bench.
A minute later, the door opened.
She expected Linda.
Robert came out.
He remained standing at the far end of the porch.
For a while, neither spoke.
Then Robert said, “I believed the bank paper.”
Emily stared at the lake.
“I know.”
“I thought Arthur gave you access to his account.”
“He did.”
Robert looked at her.
Emily shrugged.
“He asked me to pay his electric bill once when he was in the hospital. That’s probably why my name appeared.”
Robert leaned against the railing.
“Linda showed me a copy with your name highlighted.”
Emily closed her eyes.
There it was.
The mechanism.
Not a vague misunderstanding.
A highlighted name.
A frightened man.
A wife he trusted.
A daughter already living far away.
“When?”
“After Arthur died.”
“Why didn’t you call me before deciding?”
He looked toward the trees.
“I was angry.”
“That’s not enough.”
“No.”
“You always thought I was irresponsible.”
Robert’s mouth tightened.
“You were twenty-four.”
“I was twenty-four, not twelve.”
“You had debt. You changed jobs constantly.”
“Twice.”
“You and Ethan fought.”
“So?”
“I thought you were spinning out.”
Emily looked at him.
“You wanted the evidence to be true.”
He did not answer.
“That’s why you believed it.”
Robert rubbed the rail with his thumb.
Finally he said, “Probably.”
The honesty hurt more than an excuse would have.
Emily nodded.
“Thank you.”
He looked surprised.
“Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not forgiving you.”
“I know.”
“But at least that answer is real.”
Robert looked back through the glass door.
Linda sat alone near the suitcase.
“What do we do about Noah?”
Emily laughed softly.
“There’s the question.”
“He can’t learn this tonight.”
“You don’t get to decide that.”
“No.”
He paused.
“But I’m asking you not to tell him tonight.”
Emily looked at her father.
“Why?”
“Because in the last hour I learned that my wife lied to me for ten years, my daughter was robbed of her child, my brother-in-law helped do it, and the boy I’ve been raising as my grandson is actually my grandson.”
Despite herself, Emily smiled.
Robert noticed.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Tell me.”
“You said ‘actually my grandson’ like he wasn’t before.”
Robert frowned.
Then he understood.
A small embarrassed laugh escaped him.
“Yeah.”
The moment lasted three seconds.
Maybe four.
Then Emily said, “You love him.”
Robert looked through the window.
“Yes.”
“So do I.”
“You just met him.”
Emily stared at the lake.
“I know.”
Robert did not challenge her.
That was the first gift he gave her that night.
Inside, Linda had made tea.
Nobody wanted tea.
She made it anyway.
Emily watched her mother set three mugs on the coffee table.
One had a faded loon printed on it.
Arthur’s mug.
Emily nearly told her not to use it.
Then she stopped herself.
Not every object had to belong to grief.
Linda wrapped both hands around her own mug.
“I can leave.”
Emily looked at her.
“Where?”
“A hotel.”
“In this storm?”
“I deserve worse.”
“Don’t do that.”
Linda blinked.
“Do what?”
“Turn yourself into a punishment. It makes everybody else responsible for deciding how much you should suffer.”
Robert looked at Emily.
Linda stared into her tea.
“You sound like Grandpa.”
“I’m sorry.”
A faint sound escaped Robert.
Almost a laugh.
Linda gave him an exhausted look.
For a moment they were simply a family sitting around bad tea.
Then Noah came downstairs.
All three adults turned toward him too quickly.
He stopped.
“Okay, that’s weird.”
Emily looked away first.
Noah took off his headphones.
“Can I have popcorn now?”
Robert checked the time.
“It’s after eleven.”
“You said.”
“I know.”
“So?”
Robert stared at him.
Then he stood.
“Fine.”
Noah smiled.
“Extra butter?”
“Absolutely not.”
“You always say that and then you do it.”
Robert headed toward the kitchen.
Noah followed.
At the doorway, he looked back at Emily.
“You staying?”
Emily’s throat tightened.
“I don’t know.”
Noah nodded.
“My room has a leak when it rains hard.”
Linda said, “It does not.”
“Yes, it does.”
“Where?”
“By the closet.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“I did.”
“When?”
“Like a month ago.”
Linda stared.
Noah shrugged.
“You were watching that cooking show.”
Robert called from the kitchen, “He did tell you.”
Linda sighed.
“Apparently everyone in this family keeps records except me.”
The sentence landed badly.
Linda immediately looked at Emily.
“I didn’t mean—”
“I know.”
Noah frowned.
May you like
“What?”
“Nothing,” Emily said.
