Chương 7
Megan had told herself it had only happened once.
“Did he want a divorce?”
Thomas shifted.
“Some days.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It was Daniel’s answer.”
Megan rubbed the rim of the coffee mug with her thumb.
Thomas continued.
“He said he would let you take Lily to Rachel’s through the end of the school year. He wanted something in writing that said you’d return.”
Megan looked at him.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell Eleanor?”
“I did.”
Megan stared.
Thomas unfolded the napkin.
“She didn’t like it.”
“That’s your explanation?”
“No.”
“Then what is?”
Thomas looked toward the window.
A delivery truck blocked most of the view.
“I didn’t like it either.”
Megan sat back.
“At least that’s true.”
“I thought if you left, Daniel would lose Lily.”
“He disappeared anyway.”
“Yes.”
The words settled heavily.
Thomas swallowed.
“I spent a lot of time blaming you because it gave me somebody who answered the phone.”
Megan stared at him.
Thomas’s eyes had gone wet, though his voice did not change.
“I couldn’t yell at Daniel. I couldn’t ask him what the hell he thought he was doing. I couldn’t ask why he left his daughter. You were here.”
Megan looked down at her coffee.
“I blamed you too.”
“For what?”
“Raising him to think somebody would always clean up after him.”
Thomas gave a quiet huff.
“Eleanor did that.”
“Coward.”
“Yes.”
They both laughed.
Again, not because it was funny.
Maybe because it was.
Thomas stopped folding the napkin.
“You forged the paper.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“You know why.”
“I know your reasons. I want to know why.”
Megan looked at him.
Thomas waited.
She thought about all the explanations she had used.
Money.
School.
Rent.
The job.
Daniel’s absence.
Eleanor’s interference.
None of them answered the question.
Finally she said, “Because I was afraid if I asked permission, somebody could say no.”
Thomas nodded slowly.
“That sounds more like it.”
Megan hated him a little for understanding.
At home, Lily’s room remained untouched.
Megan stood in the doorway but did not enter.
She had always believed motherhood happened through accumulation.
Lunches packed.
Shoes replaced.
Permission slips signed.
Fevers checked at two in the morning.
Thousands of small acts that built something too solid to disappear.
Now she understood that trust could be damaged by one act precisely because it stood on top of all the others.
Lily had believed her because Megan had earned belief.
Then Megan had spent it.
That afternoon, Patricia filed the correction.
By evening, Eleanor had hired counsel.
By Friday morning, Megan’s Milwaukee job was gone.
The recruiter was kind about it.
That made it worse.
“We have to move forward,” the woman said.
“I understand.”
“If something opens later—”
“I understand.”
Megan ended the call before her voice changed.
She sat in her car in the parking lot of the dental office where she had worked part-time for four years.
Her manager, Denise, knocked on the passenger window.
Megan unlocked the door.
Denise climbed in holding two yogurt cups.
“I brought lunch.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“One is peach.”
“I hate peach.”
“I know. Strawberry was gone.”
Megan looked at her.
Denise shrugged. “Life is hostile.”
Megan laughed.
Denise handed her the peach yogurt.
“You want more hours?”
Megan looked at her.
“We lost Becky.”
“Becky quit?”
“Becky has discovered wellness coaching.”
“Oh.”
“She posted a video about fluorescent lights disrupting feminine energy and then emailed me her resignation.”
Megan stared.
Denise peeled the lid from her yogurt.
“So. More hours?”
“How many?”
“Thirty-two. Maybe thirty-six if Patel approves.”
“That still won’t cover—”
“I know.”
Megan looked down at the peach yogurt.
“I’ll take them.”
“Good.”
Denise ate a spoonful.
“Also, you look terrible.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Ordinary life entered the disaster without permission.
Patients still needed appointments.
Insurance claims still got rejected for stupid reasons.
The copier still jammed every third Thursday as if governed by lunar cycles.
Megan began working more hours.
Lily stayed with Eleanor and Thomas for four nights.
On the fifth, a temporary agreement arranged through the lawyers allowed Lily to return to Megan while the larger dispute was sorted out.
Nobody celebrated.
Thomas drove her home.
Eleanor did not come.
Lily walked into the apartment carrying the small rolling suitcase from the terminal.
Megan stood beside the couch.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
Thomas set the suitcase inside.
“You two okay?”
Lily shrugged.
Megan said, “We’re okay.”
Lily glanced at her.
Megan corrected herself.
“We’ll figure tonight out.”
Thomas nodded.
“Call if you need anything.”
After he left, Lily kept her backpack on.
“You can put that down,” Megan said.
“I know.”
“Okay.”
Lily looked around the apartment as if checking whether anything had changed.
Nothing had.
Everything had.
Megan had bought blue poster board anyway.
It leaned against the kitchen wall.
Lily noticed.
“I already used green.”
“I heard.”
“Green’s better.”
“Apparently.”
Lily almost smiled.
Then she remembered herself.
Megan did not try to rescue the moment.
“What do you want for dinner?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Neither am I.”
Lily looked suspicious.
“What?”
“You always make me eat dinner.”
“Tonight I’m making toast.”
“That’s not dinner.”
“I’ve become reckless.”
Lily’s mouth twitched.
They ate toast.
Halfway through, Lily said, “Did Dad want me to go to Milwaukee?”
Megan put down her knife.
“He talked about letting us stay with Aunt Rachel for a while.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Megan closed her eyes briefly.
Her daughter had inherited Daniel’s ability to locate the exact weak point in a sentence.
“He thought it might be okay temporarily.”
“Did he sign the paper?”
“No.”
“Did you sign his name?”
“Yes.”
Lily stared at her plate.
“Like copying?”
“Yes.”
“Did you practice?”
Megan wanted to lie because the truth felt grotesque.
“Yes.”
“How many times?”
“I don’t know. A lot.”
Lily’s eyes filled.
“Why?”
Megan stayed still.
“Because I was scared.”
“Of Grandma?”
“Partly.”
“Of Dad?”
“Partly.”
“Of me?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
Megan looked at the toast crumbs.
May you like
“Of being stuck.”
Lily frowned.
