Chương 10
Megan spent money she did not have.
She borrowed from Rachel.
She sold a camera Daniel had given her before Lily was born.
She picked up Saturday hours.
For a while, she stopped buying coffee anywhere except work.
Lily noticed.
“You’re poor now?”
“We were not exactly rich before.”
“But poorer?”
“Yes.”
“Because of the lawyer?”
“Partly.”
“Because of what you did?”
“Partly.”
Lily thought about that.
“That seems fair.”
Megan stared at her.
Lily shrugged.
“You said consequences.”
“I regret teaching you vocabulary.”
By late spring, Megan and Eleanor could attend Lily’s school events without placing Thomas physically between them.
That counted as progress.
At the science fair, Lily’s green poster board won honorable mention.
Megan took a photograph.
Eleanor complained the lighting was bad.
Thomas bought a cookie from the fundraiser table and dropped half of it on his shirt.
For almost an hour, nobody mentioned Daniel.
Then one of Lily’s teachers approached Eleanor and said, “You must be Lily’s mom.”
The silence that followed was brief.
Still, everyone felt it.
Eleanor said, “Grandmother.”
The teacher apologized.
Megan expected Eleanor to look embarrassed.
Instead Eleanor looked at Lily.
Something passed through her face.
Loss, perhaps.
Or acceptance.
Later, in the parking lot, Eleanor said, “I should have corrected people sooner.”
Megan was putting Lily’s project into the trunk.
“About what?”
“When they assumed she lived with us.”
Megan straightened.
Eleanor looked uncomfortable.
“I liked it.”
Megan waited.
“It made me feel necessary.”
“That’s human.”
“I behaved as though necessary meant entitled.”
Megan looked at her.
“You want me to say something generous?”
“No.”
“Good.”
Eleanor almost smiled.
Megan closed the trunk.
“I behaved like afraid meant authorized.”
Eleanor nodded.
They stood beside the car while Lily and Thomas argued over whether honorable mention counted as winning.
Neither woman apologized again.
They did not need to.
Daniel sent a second postcard in June.
This one came from Nevada.
I’m in treatment. I can’t come home yet. Tell Lily I love her.
Eleanor wanted to frame it.
Megan wanted to burn it.
Lily taped it beside the first.
“What kind of treatment?” she asked.
“We don’t know,” Megan said.
Lily stared at her.
Megan lifted both hands.
“Actually. We really don’t.”
Lily nodded.
“Okay.”
A month later, Daniel called Thomas.
The conversation lasted eleven minutes.
Thomas came to Megan’s apartment afterward looking as though he had aged during the drive.
Lily was at a friend’s house.
Megan let him in.
“Is he alive?”
“Yes.”
“Obviously. What happened?”
Thomas sat at the kitchen table.
“He’s in a residential program.”
“For what?”
“Pain medication. Depression. Head injury problems. He said all three.”
Megan leaned against the counter.
“Where?”
“He asked me not to say yet.”
Megan stared at him.
“You know?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re keeping it from me?”
“He said he will talk to you through his counselor next week.”
“Thomas.”
“He sounded—”
“Do not tell me he sounded good.”
Thomas stopped.
Megan’s hands shook.
“He left his daughter for almost a year.”
“Yes.”
“He sent postcards like he was backpacking through Europe.”
“Yes.”
“He let his mother think he was dead.”
“Yes.”
“He let me spend money searching for him.”
“Yes.”
“He let Lily think she did something wrong.”
Thomas looked down.
“Yes.”
Megan walked to the window.
The parking lot below needed resurfacing. Rain had filled a pothole near the dumpster.
“What did he say about the forged paper?”
Thomas looked up.
“I told him.”
Megan turned.
“You told him?”
“Yes.”
“What did he say?”
Thomas hesitated.
“Thomas.”
“He laughed.”
Megan stared at him.
“What?”
“Not because it was funny.”
“That’s becoming a family disease.”
“He said, ‘Of course she did.’”
Megan’s anger changed shape.
“Of course I did?”
“He wasn’t excusing it.”
“He better not be.”
“He said he should have signed something before the accident.”
Megan sat down.
Thomas continued.
“He said he was afraid you’d never come back.”
“I might not have.”
“I know.”
“Did he?”
“What?”
“Did he know?”
Thomas looked toward the hallway.
“I think he did.”
Megan rubbed her face.
“Did he ask about Lily?”
“Yes.”
“How long before he asked?”
Thomas’s expression changed.
Megan’s heart sank.
“How long?”
“A few minutes.”
“Of course.”
“He was crying.”
“I don’t care.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Don’t.”
Thomas nodded.
“Sorry.”
Megan stared at the table.
After a while she said, “Does Eleanor know?”
“I’m going there next.”
“Good luck.”
“I was hoping you’d come.”
Megan laughed.
“No.”
“Fair.”
At the door, Thomas stopped.
“Megan.”
“What?”
“He said he is scared Lily won’t want to see him.”
Megan looked at him.
“Good.”
Thomas nodded.
This time he did not tell her she cared.
The counselor called the following Tuesday.
Daniel was not on the first call.
The counselor explained that any contact with Lily should happen carefully and according to Lily’s comfort, not Daniel’s urgency.
Megan liked her immediately.
During the second call, Daniel joined.
His face appeared on a video screen in a small office with a blank wall behind him.
He had lost weight.
His white hospital pallor was gone, replaced by uneven sun on his face and neck. His hair was longer than Megan remembered. A scar near his left temple looked more obvious.
For several seconds, neither spoke.
Daniel smiled nervously.
“Hey.”
Megan looked at the man whose name she had copied eight times on printer paper.
“Hey.”
“You look tired.”
She almost ended the call.
Daniel closed his eyes.
“Sorry. Stupid thing to say.”
“Yes.”
The counselor remained quiet.
Daniel rubbed his palms on his jeans.
“I heard about Milwaukee.”
“You heard about the forgery.”
“Yes.”
“Say the word.”
He looked confused.
“Forgery.”
“No. Say what I did.”
Daniel swallowed.
“You forged my signature.”
“Good.”
“Megan—”
“No. You don’t get to make me feel better about it.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“You laughed.”
Daniel looked away.
“My dad told you?”
“Yes.”
“I laughed because it sounded like something both of us would do.”
Megan stared.
May you like
“I would forge your signature?”
“No. You would make a decision and force reality to catch up.”
