Chương 7
At the door, she paused.
“I’m sorry.”
Emily picked up the spoon.
“Me too.”
It was the most truthful conversation they had ever had.
Vanessa was arrested that evening.
Daniel learned from the deputy and did not immediately tell Emily.
She discovered it because Claire texted her from across the suite.
They arrested her.
Emily stared at the screen.
Then she opened the bedroom door.
Daniel was standing alone in the living room.
“You knew?”
He nodded.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You told me to stop bringing you updates.”
Emily almost shouted.
Instead she pressed her fingers against her forehead.
“That was about her medication.”
“I didn’t know where your line was.”
“Neither do I.”
He nodded once.
“Okay.”
She looked at him.
His face was exhausted.
There were dark circles under his eyes that had not been there that morning.
Emily felt the old impulse to comfort him.
She hated the impulse.
Not because tenderness was weakness.
Because she did not yet know whether tenderness would cost her clarity.
“Where is she?”
“The county jail for now. They’re reviewing charges with the prosecutor.”
Emily nodded.
Daniel said, “Her attorney called me.”
“What?”
“She gave him my number.”
“Of course she did.”
“I didn’t answer.”
“You should block her.”
“I did.”
“Everywhere?”
“Yes.”
“Work too?”
He hesitated.
“I told my business partner she’s suspended from all projects pending review.”
Emily’s stomach tightened.
“You can do that?”
“I can remove her from our projects.”
“Does that mean you fired her?”
“No. She’s an outside contractor.”
Emily nodded.
That practical distinction mattered.
She was glad one thing in the universe still had edges.
Daniel put his phone on the table.
“You can look.”
Emily stared at it.
“No.”
“I mean it.”
“I know.”
“I don’t want there to be anything else hidden.”
“Then tell me. Don’t hand me a phone and make me become a detective.”
He looked down.
“You’re right.”
“Anything else?”
Daniel’s jaw flexed.
“No physical affair.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
He inhaled.
“There were messages I deleted.”
Emily’s chest tightened.
“What kind?”
“Complaining. About us. About you. About how I felt after Noah was born.”
She said nothing.
“Vanessa told me I’d disappeared into fatherhood. That I’d stopped being ambitious. I told her sometimes I felt like everyone needed something from me.”
Emily laughed once.
“Poor Daniel.”
He flinched.
She immediately regretted the cruelty.
Then did not.
Both feelings existed together.
He said, “I know how it sounds.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“Because while you were telling her everyone needed something from you, I was setting alarms to remember to eat.”
“I know.”
“Stop saying you know.”
He nodded.
Emily folded her arms.
“Did you ever tell her you loved her?”
“No.”
“That you missed being with her?”
“No.”
“That you wished you’d chosen differently?”
“No.”
“Did you tell her you were attracted to her?”
A pause.
“Yes.”
Emily looked away.
The window reflected the room behind her.
Richard by the fireplace.
Evelyn at the dining table.
Claire pretending not to listen while opening a bottle of water.
Everyone knew.
Emily’s marriage had become communal property in less than twelve hours.
“When?”
“After she kissed me.”
“Before you stopped her?”
“After.”
Emily turned back.
“What did you say?”
Daniel swallowed.
“I told her that yes, I was attracted to her, and that was exactly why we needed boundaries.”
Emily closed her eyes.
“That is such a Daniel sentence.”
“What does that mean?”
“You wanted credit for honesty while giving her the thing she wanted.”
He stared at her.
She pressed both hands to her face.
“God.”
“I was trying to shut it down.”
“No. You were trying to shut it down without hurting her feelings.”
He did not deny it.
Emily lowered her hands.
“You protected her feelings.”
“I know.”
“And now Noah—”
She stopped.
Her voice broke.
Daniel took one step toward her.
Emily raised a hand.
“No.”
He stopped.
The room behind them became absolutely silent.
Emily lowered her voice.
“You don’t get to make the connection I’m making and then comfort me for it.”
Daniel’s eyes filled.
He looked away.
“All right.”
That night, Emily slept in Richard and Evelyn’s bedroom with Noah in a portable crib beside the bed.
Daniel slept in their original room alone.
At 2:14 a.m., Noah woke screaming.
Emily lifted him before she was fully conscious.
She checked his forehead.
Normal.
His breathing.
Normal.
His eyes.
Normal.
He was simply awake and furious about it.
She carried him to the window.
Snow covered the parking lot.
A plow moved slowly under yellow lights.
Noah pressed one palm against the glass.
“Cold,” Emily whispered.
He patted it.
“Yeah. Bad idea.”
Her phone buzzed on the nightstand.
A message from Daniel.
Is he okay?
Emily stared at it.
She wondered how he knew Noah was awake.
Then she realized their rooms shared a wall.
She typed:
He’s fine.
Daniel replied:
Do you need anything?
She wrote:
Sleep.
Three dots appeared.
Then disappeared.
Nothing else came.
Emily carried Noah back to bed.
She was grateful.
In the morning, the lodge felt hungover even though most people had not been drinking.
Word had spread.
Emily could tell by the way strangers looked at her and then quickly looked away.
At breakfast, a woman she did not know approached and touched Emily’s shoulder.
“I heard what happened. I’m so sorry.”
Emily pulled slightly away.
The woman removed her hand.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
It was not.
The woman glanced at Noah in his high chair.
“He looks perfect.”
Emily smiled mechanically.
“Thank you.”
When the woman left, Claire said, “Want me to start telling people you have a contagious rash?”
Emily stared at her.
Claire shrugged.
“It would solve the touching problem.”
Emily laughed.
It surprised both of them.
Across the table, Daniel smiled faintly.
Emily’s laughter stopped.
Not because he had done anything wrong in that moment.
May you like
Because she did not want the scene to resemble forgiveness before she had decided what forgiveness meant.
Daniel looked down at his coffee.
