Chương 6
She also remembered one night when Daniel came home after midnight and stood in the kitchen eating cereal from a mixing bowl.
She had asked whether he wanted to come to bed.
He had said he had emails.
Maybe that was the night.
“Did you say it to Vanessa in person?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“The Vail opening.”
Emily nodded slowly.
“How much had you been drinking?”
Daniel’s face tightened.
“Two glasses of bourbon.”
“Were you alone?”
“Yes.”
Evelyn sat down.
Richard muttered something under his breath.
Emily shifted Noah.
“Did you kiss her?”
“No.”
“Did she kiss you?”
Daniel hesitated.
It was less than a second.
Emily saw it.
“Yes,” she said.
“She tried.”
The room disappeared around them.
“What does that mean?”
“She kissed me. I stopped it.”
“How fast?”
“Emily.”
“How fast, Daniel?”
He looked at her.
“Not fast enough.”
Claire turned away.
Evelyn whispered, “Oh, God.”
Emily felt no dramatic break inside herself.
No explosion.
Mostly she felt embarrassed.
That surprised her.
She had spent months afraid Daniel had betrayed her, and when the truth arrived, her strongest feeling was embarrassment that four other people had heard it.
She looked at Richard.
“Can we use your bedroom?”
“Of course.”
Daniel followed her.
Emily turned.
“Not you.”
He stopped.
She carried Noah into the bedroom and closed the door.
There was a king-size bed with too many decorative pillows.
She sat on the edge.
Noah grabbed her earring.
“Not today, buddy.”
He pulled harder.
She removed it and put it on the nightstand.
For several minutes, Emily listened to the muffled voices outside.
She could not make out words.
Good.
She did not want words.
Her phone buzzed.
A text from an unknown number.
This is Karen Miles. I witnessed what happened in the lobby. The deputy gave me your number with your permission from the statement form. I just wanted to say I’m glad your baby is okay. I have video if you need it.
Emily stared at the message.
Then at Noah.
Video.
She had checked the box allowing witnesses to contact her without thinking much about it.
Her thumb hovered.
Finally she wrote:
Thank you. Please keep the original and send it to the deputy, not me.
Karen replied:
Already did.
Then:
Take care of that little guy.
Emily put the phone down.
Noah crawled across the bed toward a pillow and immediately tried to eat the corner.
She pulled him back.
“No.”
He grinned.
There it was.
Normal life.
Ten minutes after learning her husband had returned a kiss from another woman, Emily was arguing with a baby about upholstery.
She laughed despite herself.
Then she covered her mouth.
The laugh became a sob.
Noah stared.
Emily wiped her face.
“I know. Mixed signals.”
He slapped one hand on the mattress.
She lay down beside him.
The bedspread smelled faintly of detergent and someone else’s expensive perfume.
She watched Noah inspect his own fingers.
She thought about Daniel saying not fast enough.
It was an honest sentence.
That made it worse in one way and better in another.
A knock came twenty minutes later.
“Emily?”
Daniel.
She did not answer.
“I’m going to our room.”
Still nothing.
“I’ll bring the bags here if you want.”
She looked at the door.
“Leave mine.”
“Okay.”
He hesitated.
“The deputy called.”
Emily sat up.
“What?”
“They’re keeping Vanessa there while they review everything. They may arrest her tonight.”
Emily closed her eyes.
“Okay.”
“She asked to have someone collect her medication from her room.”
“Why are you telling me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then stop.”
A pause.
“Okay.”
His footsteps moved away.
Noah fell asleep at seven.
Emily stayed in Richard and Evelyn’s bedroom while the family ordered dinner.
Evelyn brought her soup on a tray.
Emily stared at it.
“You don’t have to eat.”
“I know.”
Evelyn sat on the chair near the window.
For a while she said nothing.
Emily appreciated that.
Then Evelyn said, “I knew she was too involved.”
Emily’s fingers tightened around the spoon.
“Please don’t.”
“I’m not excusing Daniel.”
“That isn’t what I mean.”
Evelyn waited.
Emily set the spoon down.
“If you knew, why didn’t you say anything?”
Evelyn looked toward the window.
There it was again.
The instinct to confess only after confession became safe.
“I mentioned it to him.”
“When?”
“Last fall.”
“What did you say?”
“That Vanessa seemed attached.”
“And?”
“He told me I was imagining things.”
Emily gave a quiet laugh.
Evelyn looked hurt.
“Sorry.”
“No. It’s just familiar.”
Evelyn folded her hands.
“I should have said something to you.”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t want to interfere.”
“You did interfere.”
Evelyn frowned.
“You interfered by staying silent and then inviting her to birthdays and dinners and pretending everything was normal.”
“I didn’t invite her today.”
“No. Your husband did.”
“That’s not fair.”
Emily looked at her.
“Exactly.”
Evelyn leaned back.
For the first time, her face showed anger.
“Do you think I wanted this?”
“No.”
“Do you think I don’t love Noah?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You’re making everyone responsible for what Vanessa did.”
Emily felt heat rise under her sweater.
“No. Vanessa is responsible for what Vanessa did. Daniel is responsible for what Daniel did. Richard is responsible for what Richard did. You are responsible for what you did.”
“And what are you responsible for?”
The question landed hard.
Evelyn looked shocked by her own words.
Emily stared at her.
Then she nodded.
“That’s a good question.”
“Emily, I didn’t mean—”
“No. It is.”
She looked at Noah asleep on the bed.
“I’m responsible for pretending I didn’t know there was a problem because I was afraid of what happened if I made Daniel answer me.”
Evelyn’s anger softened.
Emily continued.
“I saw enough. I knew enough. I kept waiting for him to become uncomfortable enough to fix it himself.”
“That isn’t your fault.”
“Fault isn’t the only thing people have.”
Evelyn looked at her for a long time.
Then she stood.
May you like
“Your soup’s getting cold.”
“I know.”
