Chương 4
Noah was upstairs showering.
“Who told you?”
“Margaret.”
“Of course.”
“Ethan.”
He rubbed his forehead.
“There was an incident.”
“I know there was an incident. Your mother said Ryan threatened Noah and you threw him on the ground.”
“I didn’t throw him.”
“That is the part you’re correcting?”
“He reached for a poker.”
“A what?”
“A barbecue poker.”
There was a pause.
“Start over.”
So Ethan did.
Lauren listened without interrupting until he finished.
When she finally spoke, her voice had changed.
“He threatened Noah’s hand?”
“Yes.”
“And put the ball on the grill?”
“Yes.”
“Where was everybody?”
“Right there.”
“And nobody stopped him?”
Ethan looked at the darkening yard.
“I got there after he did it.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
He closed his eyes.
“No.”
Lauren inhaled slowly.
“Is Noah okay?”
“He says he is.”
“That means he isn’t.”
“I know.”
“Put him on.”
“He’s showering.”
“When he’s done.”
“Yes.”
Another pause.
Then Lauren said, “You put your hands on Ryan.”
“Yes.”
“You couldn’t just get Noah and leave?”
Ethan’s jaw tightened.
“He grabbed a metal poker.”
“Before that.”
Ethan said nothing.
“Before he grabbed it,” she repeated.
“I was talking to him.”
“You walked toward him.”
“Yes.”
“How close?”
“I don’t know.”
“Close enough that he thought he needed a poker?”
“He threatened our son.”
“I know what he did.”
“No, Lauren, I don’t think you do.”
“Don’t.”
“What?”
“Don’t make this about whether I’m angry enough.”
He leaned both palms on the counter.
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“I am furious. I also know you.”
Ethan stared at his reflection in the dark window.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means when you get quiet like that, you scare people.”
He laughed once.
“That’s helpful.”
“It isn’t supposed to be helpful.”
“Great.”
“It’s supposed to be true.”
He did not answer.
Lauren continued more softly.
“I believe Ryan was wrong. Completely wrong. But Noah saw you shove a man to the ground.”
“Who was reaching for a weapon.”
“And he saw what happened before that too.”
“Yes.”
“What did he see?”
Ethan looked toward the staircase.
He pictured Noah flinching when he had said Listen to me.
He had not thought about it again until now.
“He saw me angry.”
Lauren was quiet.
“Okay.”
“I didn’t hit Ryan.”
“I know.”
“I didn’t threaten him with the poker.”
“I know.”
“I protected Noah.”
“I know.”
The answer made him angrier than disagreement would have.
“Then what are we talking about?”
“We’re talking about what Noah thinks protecting him looks like now.”
Ethan almost hung up.
Instead he lowered his head.
In the silence, the refrigerator compressor came on.
Lauren said, “I want him with me tomorrow.”
“It’s my weekend.”
“I know.”
“He doesn’t need to be moved around because Ryan lost his mind.”
“I’m not punishing you.”
“It feels like it.”
“Ask Noah.”
Ethan looked toward the stairs again.
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not making him choose between his parents tonight.”
Lauren exhaled.
“That’s fair.”
It surprised him.
He sat down.
“I’ll bring him in the morning.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t make a big deal about the police.”
“I won’t.”
“And don’t ask him the same questions ten different ways.”
“I know how to talk to my son.”
“I didn’t say you didn’t.”
“You were about to.”
“I wasn’t.”
They both stopped.
Then Lauren said, “I hate him.”
Ethan blinked.
“Who?”
“Ryan.”
Despite everything, a breath of laughter escaped him.
“Okay.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know.”
“I want to drive over there and flatten all four tires on that ridiculous car.”
“Please don’t.”
“I’m not going to.”
“Good.”
“I’m just saying I understand the impulse.”
Ethan stared at the floor.
“That’s the problem.”
Lauren did not respond.
He said, “I understood the impulse too.”
After Noah’s shower, Lauren talked to him on speaker while Ethan put away dishes.
She never asked about Ryan.
She asked if he had eaten.
She asked if he remembered that his spelling list was in his blue folder.
She told him the cat had thrown up on her bath mat.
Noah laughed.
Then she asked, “Do you want pancakes tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
“With chocolate chips or normal person pancakes?”
“Chocolate.”
“Traitor.”
Ethan stood at the sink and listened.
When Noah handed him the phone, Lauren said, “Nine?”
“Nine.”
“Drive safe.”
“You too.”
“I’m not driving.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do.”
He almost told her thank you.
He didn’t.
The family group chat had forty-three unread messages.
Ethan sat on the couch after Noah went to bed and scrolled through them.
Brad had written first.
Everybody please cool off tonight.
Megan had responded:
Nobody should contact Ryan right now.
Brad:
I didn’t say contact him.
Megan:
That was for everyone.
Then Margaret:
I’m sorry. This happened in my home and I should have stepped in sooner.
Brad’s wife, Amy:
You didn’t know he was going to do that.
Margaret:
I knew he was angry before Ethan came over.
Ethan stopped scrolling.
He read the sentence again.
I knew he was angry before Ethan came over.
He typed:
What does that mean?
Three dots appeared under Margaret’s name.
Disappeared.
Appeared again.
Then:
Call me.
He did.
She answered immediately.
“What happened before I got there?”
“Nothing like what happened later.”
“Mom.”
“He was irritated.”
“At Noah?”
“At several things.”
“What things?”
Margaret hesitated.
“His car.”
Ethan leaned back.
“His car.”
“He thought one of the kids had been too close to it.”
“One of the kids?”
“Noah and Megan’s grandson were kicking the ball.”
“You told me he was irritated before I arrived.”
“I didn’t want to make it worse.”
“What did he do?”
“He took the ball once and told them to move farther down the yard.”
“That’s it?”
Another hesitation.
Ethan sat forward.
“Mom.”
“He told Noah if the car got scratched, he was paying for it.”
“He’s eight.”
“I told Ryan that.”
“And?”
“He said children need to learn consequences.”
Ethan stared at the wall.
“Did he threaten him then?”
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“No.”
“Did he touch him?”
