Chương 9
“It is completely relevant.”
“You treated her like a temporary infection for the first two years we were married.”
“That is unfair.”
“You told her at our rehearsal dinner that marrying a man with family obligations would be difficult for someone with her background.”
“I meant she had no family support.”
“She thought you meant she was poor.”
“She was poor.”
Adrian almost laughed.
There was something breathtaking about Evelyn’s ability to walk directly into the accusation and complain about the lighting.
“She hated me,” Evelyn said.
“No. She was scared of you.”
“She certainly stopped being scared.”
“That happened after you criticized her parenting in front of Lila’s preschool teacher.”
“I was trying to help.”
“Nora called you an emotional arsonist.”
Evelyn went silent.
Adrian had never told her that.
Nora had said it one night while brushing her teeth.
Your mother is an emotional arsonist who arrives carrying a bucket and somehow convinces everyone it’s water.
Adrian had laughed toothpaste onto the mirror.
For one second, remembering it felt good.
Then it hurt.
Evelyn said quietly, “She turned you against us.”
“No.”
“She did.”
“No, Mom. Nora taught me I was allowed to leave a room.”
That silenced her.
Adrian looked toward the living room.
Lila had returned to her coloring.
His mother finally said, “I lost my husband. Then I lost you to her. Then she died, and instead of coming back, you closed us out even more.”
There it was.
Not justification.
But something true.
Adrian sat on the bottom stair.
“You didn’t lose me to Nora.”
“It felt that way.”
“I was thirty.”
“You stopped needing us.”
He almost said that was what adults did.
The sentence felt too easy.
Evelyn’s voice was thinner now.
“You don’t understand what it is to build your entire life around a family and then realize everyone can leave.”
Adrian looked at Lila.
He did understand.
Better than she knew.
“Nora died,” he said. “She didn’t leave you.”
“I know.”
“And Lila isn’t Nora.”
“I know that.”
“Do you?”
Evelyn said nothing.
Adrian continued.
“You don’t get to punish a six-year-old because you’re afraid I can live without your permission.”
“That is not what I’m doing.”
“It’s what you did.”
Another silence.
Then Evelyn asked, “What would you have me do?”
It was the closest she had come to asking rather than declaring.
Adrian chose his words carefully.
“First, stop defending Christmas.”
She sighed.
“Second, if you apologize to Lila, apologize for your action. Not her reaction.”
“Fine.”
“Third, do not talk about her adoption, Evan, biology, inheritance, the company, or whether she belongs unless I am present and I agree to the conversation.”
“You cannot dictate every word I say.”
“Then you cannot see her.”
“That’s blackmail.”
“That’s parenting.”
Evelyn’s voice hardened again.
“You sound exactly like Nora.”
Adrian closed his eyes.
“Thank you.”
He ended the call.
His hands shook afterward.
Lila walked into the hallway carrying the reindeer by one leg.
“Was that Grandma?”
“Yes.”
“Is she still mad?”
“Yes.”
“At me?”
“No.”
“At you?”
“Probably.”
Lila leaned against the wall.
“Can I be mad too?”
“Absolutely.”
“Can I still miss her?”
Adrian swallowed.
“Yes.”
She looked relieved.
That bothered him.
“Those can happen together,” he said.
“Kendra said that.”
He blinked.
“When did Kendra say that?”
“At her office.”
“You told me you drew pictures.”
“I did.”
“What else are you discussing with my therapist?”
“My therapist.”
Adrian stared.
Lila smiled.
Nora again.
New Year’s Eve morning, Travis appeared at Adrian’s front door without calling.
Adrian opened it and immediately wanted to close it.
Travis held up both hands.
“No toys.”
“Very funny.”
“I thought so.”
“What do you want?”
“Can I come in?”
“No.”
Travis glanced toward the neighboring houses.
“It’s cold.”
“Then talk fast.”
“Adrian.”
Lila’s voice came from the kitchen.
“Who is it?”
Travis looked past him.
“Hey, bug.”
Adrian blocked the doorway.
Lila appeared behind him anyway.
She held Rudolph to her chest.
Her expression changed when she saw Travis.
Not fear exactly.
Caution.
It was a look no six-year-old should have needed for family.
Travis saw it too.
His smile failed.
“Hey,” he said again.
Lila did not answer.
Adrian turned.
“Go finish your toast.”
“It’s cold.”
“Then you better hurry.”
She remained there another second.
Then left.
Travis looked down at the porch.
“I came to apologize.”
“To me?”
“No.”
Adrian waited.
Travis shoved both hands into his coat pockets.
“This is humiliating enough. Can we go inside?”
“You survived a reindeer. You can survive winter.”
Travis looked irritated.
Then, unexpectedly, he laughed.
A real laugh.
Adrian did too.
It lasted perhaps two seconds.
Then the brothers were themselves again.
Travis said, “I shouldn’t have said she didn’t belong.”
Adrian watched him.
“That’s true.”
“I was pissed at you.”
“I know.”
“I thought you were using her to make the ownership agreement impossible.”
“Still not seeing how that becomes her fault.”
“It doesn’t.”
The answer came quickly.
Adrian studied him.
Travis rubbed the back of his neck.
“When Mom started in, I thought… I don’t know what I thought.”
“That she’d finally win the argument for you?”
“Maybe.”
“And you joined in.”
“Yeah.”
Adrian looked toward the kitchen.
“I’m not bringing her out here to make you feel better.”
“I know.”
“You can write to her.”
Travis grimaced.
“I hate writing.”
“Excellent. Suffer.”
Travis nodded.
Then his expression changed.
“You talked to Mom?”
“Yesterday.”
“She’s losing her mind.”
“She always has to misplace something.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
“She thinks you’re leaving the company.”
“I might.”
Travis stared.
“You can’t.”
“There are laws against kidnapping employees.”
“You own a third of it.”
“I’m aware.”
“You leave and every client assumes there’s a civil war.”
“There is a civil war.”
“No. There’s a family fight.”
“Your business model should probably survive one.”
“Dad never planned for one of us to walk.”
“Dad also never planned to die at sixty-three.”
Travis flinched.
May you like
Adrian regretted the sentence.
He did not take it back.
