Chương 1

"""Evelyn Cole ripped the little reindeer out of Lila’s hands hard enough to pull the child a step forward.
“Don’t touch those gifts, Lila—your father isn’t even your real father.”
The words arrived before the stuffed animal hit the floor.
The reindeer struck the honey-colored wood with a flat, ridiculous little smack. One stitched antler folded under its head. A red yarn loop snagged on the corner of a wrapped box beneath the Christmas tree, tugging the package an inch sideways. Somewhere higher in the branches, a glass ornament knocked softly against another.
Nobody laughed after that.
A moment earlier, three of the adults near Evelyn’s cream sofa had been smiling. Adrian had heard the tail end of some joke from his brother Travis, something about their mother hiding expensive bourbon from people who put ice in it. Evelyn had been standing beside the tree with one hand resting on a stack of presents as if she were posing for the family photograph no one had yet managed to organize.
Then Lila had reached toward a gift with her name nowhere on it.
That was all.
Now she stood six feet from Adrian, very small inside the Christmas sweater she had chosen herself because the white snowflakes were “more serious” than the dancing Santas on the other one. Her light brown hair had slipped over one cheek. Her hands remained raised where the reindeer had been, fingers curled around nothing.
She looked first at the toy.
Then at Evelyn.
Then at Adrian.
“Daddy?”
The room changed around that one word.
Adrian moved before he had decided to.
He crossed the space between them, dropped onto one knee, and caught Lila when she came toward him. Her body was stiff for the first second. Then both arms locked around his neck.
“I’m right here, sweetheart.”
She pressed her face into his collar.
Behind them, somebody inhaled sharply. Adrian thought it was his aunt June. He could smell coffee, fir needles, the cinnamon candle Evelyn bought every December and complained was overpriced. He could also feel Lila’s breath coming too fast against the side of his throat.
He put one hand over the back of her head.
Evelyn made a small sound of irritation.
Not regret.
Irritation.
“Oh, for God’s sake,” she said. “She was going to hear it someday.”
Adrian looked at his mother.
He had spent most of his adult life recognizing the exact moment her cruelty rearranged itself into reasonableness.
Sometimes it took the form of advice. Sometimes concern. Sometimes the phrase I’m only saying this because nobody else will. She could insult a waiter and leave convinced she had improved the restaurant. She could turn someone’s embarrassment into evidence that she had touched a nerve and therefore must be correct.
But he had never seen her use that machinery on Lila.
Not directly.
Not until Christmas morning.
Lila pulled away from him enough to look toward the floor.
“My reindeer.”
Adrian reached for it, but she slid down his chest before he could stop her. She hurried across the floor, red shoes tapping once, twice, three times, and grabbed the toy with both hands.
She hugged it against her sweater.
Her lip trembled.
No sound came out.
That somehow made Travis grin.
It was not a full smile. Just the faint upward pull of one side of his mouth, the expression he had worn when they were boys and Adrian got blamed for breaking something Travis had broken first.
Travis stepped away from the sofa.
“Tell her the truth, Adrian.”
Adrian rose.
Lila immediately pressed herself against his leg.
Travis pointed at them.
“Everybody knows she doesn’t belong in this house.”
Aunt June said, “Travis.”
He ignored her.
“You’ve had two years to stop pretending none of this matters.”
Adrian picked Lila up.
She was getting heavy enough that he usually made her walk unless she was tired. Now he barely noticed her weight. She tucked her knees against his side and buried her face in his shoulder.
His mother watched him with the calm confidence of someone expecting the room to come back to her eventually.
Travis took another step.
“You want to be angry, fine. But don’t make Mom the villain because she said what everyone has been thinking.”
Adrian’s jaw tightened.
His daughter’s plush reindeer was trapped between them. Its stitched face pressed into his vest.
He took it carefully from her hands.
Lila let go because he was her father and she trusted that anything passed to him would come back.
That thought should have slowed him.
It did not.
Adrian snapped his arm forward and threw the stuffed reindeer directly into Travis’s face.
The toy weighed almost nothing, but Travis jerked backward in surprise. His heel landed on a satin ribbon. He stumbled, knocked into the stack of presents, and went down on one knee with two boxes sliding around him.
The impact made a hollow wooden thump.
Aunt June covered her mouth.
Someone said, “Jesus.”
Lila lifted her head.
For the first time since Evelyn had spoken, Travis did not look superior.
He looked stunned.
Adrian stared at his brother.
Then he looked at Evelyn.
“Say that to my daughter one more time,” he said, his voice low enough that everyone had to listen, “and nobody in this room gets to call themselves family again.”
The tree lights blinked behind his mother’s silver hair.
Nobody moved.
It was a ridiculous tableau, really. Travis kneeling among gifts like a man who had lost a fight with Christmas. Evelyn beside the tree. Four adults standing with wineglasses or coffee cups arrested halfway to their mouths. Lila clinging to Adrian. The stuffed reindeer upside down against Travis’s thigh.
Adrian wished later that he had walked out then.
Instead, because he was angry and because anger made him stupid in old, familiar ways, he waited for someone to challenge him.
Travis stood.
His face had gone red.
May you like
“You threw something at me.”
“It was a stuffed animal.”