Chương 4
“Lower your voice.”
Mara had not raised it.
“You hold me down.”
“Mara.”
“You put water over my face.”
His eyes hardened.
“That is not what happens.”
“What happens, then?”
“You panic.”
Her breath caught.
Daniel seized on it.
“You panic, you stop listening, you start fighting me, and then everything gets out of control.”
“You put water over my face.”
“I’m trying to get you to stop.”
“Stop what?”
“You know exactly what.”
“No.”
“You get hysterical.”
Mara almost laughed.
The word was so old-fashioned that for an instant it sounded ridiculous in his mouth.
Then she saw how serious he was.
“You think that’s what the recordings show?”
“They show what happens when you lose control.”
“You told me to hold my breath.”
“That was because you were choking.”
“No.”
“You were.”
“No.”
“Jesus Christ, Mara.”
He dragged one hand through his hair.
For half a second he looked exhausted rather than dangerous.
“I’m trying to keep you safe when you do that.”
“When I do what?”
“When you work yourself up.”
“I’m asleep when you start.”
Daniel’s face went still.
Mara saw it and knew she had touched something he had not prepared an answer for.
The silence lasted only a second.
Then he said, “You wake up confused.”
“I wake up because you’re standing over me.”
“That is not true.”
“It’s on the recordings.”
He looked down at the phone again.
For the first time, he seemed afraid of the files themselves.
Mara watched him open the first recording.
His thumb moved to the delete icon.
“No.”
He looked at her.
She stepped away from the wall without planning to.
“Don’t.”
Daniel pressed delete.
The file disappeared.
Something inside Mara dropped.
He selected the second.
Then the third.
“You can’t erase what happened.”
“I’m erasing this garbage.”
“They’re recordings.”
“They’re edited.”
“I don’t even know how to edit audio.”
“That doesn’t mean you didn’t.”
He deleted the fourth.
Mara lunged.
She did not decide to.
One second she was standing by the wall, and the next both hands were around his wrist.
Daniel jerked backward.
“Stop.”
“Give me the phone.”
“Get off me.”
“Give it back.”
He twisted his arm free.
Mara reached again.
Daniel shoved her.
It was not the hardest he had ever pushed her.
It did not need to be.
Her heel caught the curled corner of the blue runner.
Her body tilted backward.
For one terrifying instant, she had nothing beneath her.
Then her hip struck the wall and she slid down hard onto one knee.
Pain flashed through her pelvis.
Mara folded both arms around her stomach.
Daniel froze.
Neither of them spoke.
The phone was still in his hand.
The lawn mower outside had stopped.
In the sudden quiet, Mara could hear a dog barking somewhere down the block.
Daniel stared at her.
“Mara.”
She looked down.
There was no blood.
She did not know whether that meant anything.
“Mara, are you okay?”
His voice had changed completely.
He crouched.
She flinched so hard that her shoulder hit the wall again.
He stopped.
“I didn’t mean to push you that hard.”
Mara pressed her palm low against her abdomen.
A faint tightness moved through her.
Maybe fear.
Maybe muscle.
Maybe something worse.
She could not tell.
Daniel reached for her.
“Don’t touch me.”
“I’m checking you.”
“Don’t.”
“You fell.”
“You pushed me.”
“I know.”
The admission came out before he could reshape it.
They both heard it.
Daniel sat back on his heels.
Mara looked at the phone.
The recorder app was still open.
Three files remained.
Daniel followed her gaze and turned the screen facedown against his thigh.
“Mara, listen to me.”
She felt another tightening sensation.
Not sharp.
Not rhythmic.
Still enough to frighten her.
“I need to go to the hospital.”
His face tightened.
“You’re fine.”
“I fell.”
“On your knee.”
“My hip hit the wall.”
“You didn’t hit your stomach.”
“I need to be checked.”
Daniel stood.
“Okay.”
The quick agreement startled her.
Then he added, “I’ll drive you.”
“No.”
His eyes changed.
“Mara.”
“I want an ambulance.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“I’m pregnant and I fell.”
“You barely fell.”
“You pushed me.”
His jaw clenched.
“Stop saying it like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I threw you down the stairs.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You’re making it sound worse.”
Mara reached for the entry table to pull herself upright.
Her knee trembled.
Daniel moved automatically to help.
She pulled away.
The movement hurt more than she expected.
She inhaled sharply.
Daniel’s face paled.
“Sit down.”
“I need my phone.”
“No.”
“So call 911.”
“You do not need an ambulance.”
“Then give me the phone.”
“Mara, they’re going to charge thousands of dollars for nothing.”
“Call them.”
“You’re not thinking.”
“Call them.”
He looked toward the front window.
Mara knew what he was imagining.
An ambulance in the driveway.
Neighbors watching.
Questions.
Paramedics asking how she fell.
A hospital record.
A doctor separating them.
Her fear changed shape.
For the first time that morning, Daniel had something to lose in the next five minutes that he could not completely control.
He saw it too.
“We can drive.”
“I’m not getting in your car.”
“Why?”
“You know why.”
“No, I don’t.”
Mara stared at him.
Daniel looked away first.
The small victory felt dangerous.
She pushed herself fully upright.
Her leg shook but held.
“I’m going outside.”
He stepped in front of the door.
The movement was so familiar that her body stopped before she consciously registered it.
“Mara.”
“Move.”
“Not while you’re acting like this.”
“Move.”
“I’m trying to help you.”
“You’re blocking the door.”
“You’re upset.”
“You’re blocking the door.”
“Because you’re not making sense.”
Mara looked past his shoulder at the dead bolt.
The neighbor across the street, Mrs. Calder, would probably be home.
She was seventy-something and spent most mornings watering plants on her porch whether they needed water or not.
May you like
Mara had waved to her dozens of times.
They had never had a real conversation.
