Chương 11
“What do you do for work?”
The question seemed unrelated enough to confuse Mara.
“I’m a graphic designer.”
“Remote?”
“Mostly.”
“Does Daniel know your employer’s office location?”
“Yes.”
“Does he know your schedule?”
“Yes.”
“He knows everything.”
“That’s common in a marriage.”
Mara turned her face toward the wall.
“I hate when normal things become evidence.”
Tessa was quiet for a moment.
“What do you mean?”
“He knows where I work because husbands know where their wives work.”
“He knows my doctor because he comes to appointments.”
“He knows my sister’s address because she’s my sister.”
“He knows my passwords because we used to share everything.”
Mara swallowed.
“None of that looked dangerous when it happened.”
“No.”
“And now it is.”
“Some of it may be.”
Mara closed her eyes.
The distinction mattered.
Tessa did not turn every memory into proof that Mara should have known.
She simply helped sort what was dangerous now.
A soft knock came at the door.
Mara sat up.
Priya opened it halfway.
“Your sister is here.”
“Let her in.”
Lena entered so quickly she nearly collided with Priya.
Her hair was still pinned up from work, and she had her office badge hanging crookedly from a blue lanyard.
She carried a large tote bag, her car keys, and one paper coffee cup she seemed to have forgotten she was holding.
The moment she saw Mara, she stopped.
Mara saw the questions arrive in her face.
Then Lena looked at Tessa and swallowed them.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“You look awful.”
Mara blinked.
Lena immediately winced.
“I mean tired.”
“I look awful.”
“You do.”
Mara laughed once.
Lena crossed the room and hugged her carefully, arms high around Mara’s shoulders, avoiding the monitors.
Mara had expected herself to cry.
Instead she smelled Lena’s shampoo and said, “Your coffee is leaking.”
Lena pulled back.
Brown liquid had dripped down the side of the cup and onto her hand.
“Oh, for God’s sake.”
She wiped it against a napkin from her tote.
Tessa looked away, giving them privacy without leaving.
Lena stared at Mara.
“I saved the files.”
“Where?”
“Two places.”
“Which places?”
“My laptop and a USB drive.”
“Where’s the drive?”
Lena patted her tote.
Mara’s chest tightened.
“Don’t keep it with you.”
“Why?”
“If Daniel sees you.”
Lena’s face changed.
“He’s here?”
“Downstairs.”
“Of course he is.”
Her voice sharpened.
“I’m going to talk to him.”
“No.”
“Mara.”
“No.”
“He doesn’t get to—”
“I said no.”
Lena stopped.
The old version of their relationship appeared instantly.
Lena older by three years.
Lena deciding.
Mara resisting mostly because Lena had decided.
Tessa stayed silent.
Lena looked at Mara’s hands.
“Okay.”
The word came reluctantly.
Mara exhaled.
“Thank you.”
“I still want to.”
“I know.”
“I want to hit him with something heavy.”
Mara glanced at Tessa.
“Is she allowed to say that?”
Tessa’s expression remained neutral.
“She can say lots of things.”
Lena gave Mara an offended look.
“This isn’t funny.”
“No.”
Mara pressed her lips together.
“It’s a little funny.”
Lena sat in the chair beside the bed.
For several seconds neither sister spoke.
The monitor filled the silence.
Lena watched the tracing paper slide slowly out of the machine.
“Is the baby okay?”
“So far.”
Lena’s eyes filled immediately.
She looked down and rubbed at the coffee stain on her thumb.
“Sorry.”
“For what?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s helpful.”
“I’m doing great.”
“You are.”
Lena looked up.
“I listened to one of them.”
Mara’s smile disappeared.
Tessa rose.
“I can give you both a few minutes.”
“No.”
Mara said it too quickly.
Tessa paused.
“Stay.”
“All right.”
Lena looked at Mara.
“I only listened because I thought maybe I needed to know what was on it.”
Mara’s throat tightened.
“Which one?”
“The one from Tuesday.”
Mara turned away.
Tuesday had been the night Daniel made her count in her head because he said panic started when she lost track of time.
“Did you hear all of it?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Lena stared at the floor.
“I couldn’t.”
The answer hurt in a strange way.
Mara had lived it.
Lena could not listen to it.
Part of her wanted to resent that.
Another part was relieved.
“I kept thinking maybe I misunderstood you.”
Lena’s voice was small now.
“When you called me and said you hadn’t slept.”
Mara said nothing.
“I thought you meant fights.”
“We did fight.”
“I thought you were both making each other miserable.”
“We were.”
Lena flinched.
Mara watched her.
“I did things wrong too.”
“That is not the same thing.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
Mara’s irritation rose instantly.
“Yes, Lena.”
“I’m asking because you keep qualifying everything.”
“Because things are complicated.”
“He drowned you.”
Mara’s head snapped toward her.
“Don’t say that.”
Lena looked startled.
“Why?”
“Because he didn’t.”
“He poured water over your face while holding you down.”
“That isn’t the same.”
Tessa spoke for the first time.
“You don’t have to settle on language right now.”
Both sisters turned toward her.
Tessa continued.
“What matters medically and for safety planning is what was physically done.”
Lena leaned back in the chair.
“Fine.”
Mara hated the wounded edge in her voice.
“You don’t get to be mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you.”
“You look mad.”
“I’m mad at myself.”
Mara looked away.
“That’s not useful either.”
Lena went quiet.
The baby shifted.
Mara felt the movement low on one side and placed her hand there.
For several seconds, nobody spoke.
Then Lena said, “Can I?”
Mara moved her hand and let her sister place her palm over the same spot.
They waited.
Nothing happened.
Lena looked disappointed.
“She hates you.”
“She doesn’t know me yet.”
“She has instincts.”
Lena snorted softly.
Then the baby kicked.
Lena’s mouth opened.
“Oh.”
Mara watched her sister’s face change.
For a moment, Daniel disappeared from the room.
There was only Lena’s hand on Mara’s stomach and the quick movement beneath skin.
Then Lena’s expression folded.
“I’m so sorry.”
May you like
Mara looked down.
“I know.”
