Chương 10
Mara unlocked the car.
Claire stopped when she saw a gray SUV idling two rows over.
Jeffrey drove a gray SUV.
Her pulse jumped.
Then a woman in hospital scrubs climbed into it with a coffee and drove away.
Claire hated what her body had done.
Mara noticed.
"You saw the car too?"
Claire nodded.
"Yeah."
Mara opened the back door.
"We're checking your locks tomorrow."
Claire almost corrected her.
Then she decided not to.
Liam climbed into the seat with less resistance this time.
He still asked Claire to sit beside him.
She did.
The ride to Mara's house took twenty minutes.
Halfway there, Liam asked for water.
Mara pulled into a gas station, and Claire bought two bottles, crackers, a banana, and a package of gummy dinosaurs she immediately regretted choosing.
Liam stared at the gummies.
"They're not Dino."
"No."
Claire tucked them into the bag.
"Bad purchase."
Mara looked over from the driver's seat.
"Read the room, Claire."
"I know."
Liam whispered, "I like red ones."
Claire handed him the package.
"Then I withdraw my criticism."
He ate exactly one.
At Mara's house, the first problem was the shower.
Claire had assumed warm water would help.
She set clean pajamas on the bathroom counter and let Liam choose between a bath and the handheld shower head.
He stood in the doorway and stared at the tub.
"No."
"Okay."
Claire did not move toward him.
"We can do it later."
"No water."
"Okay."
He looked down at his arms.
The dirt seemed suddenly visible to him.
"Am I gross?"
Claire's heart lurched.
"No."
He rubbed at a dark smear near his elbow.
"Cynthia said."
Claire knelt in front of him.
"What did she say?"
Then she stopped herself.
Rachel's warning.
No repeated questioning.
Claire changed direction.
"You don't have to tell me."
Liam's eyes remained on his arm.
"She said dirty boys don't eat cake."
Mara, standing in the hallway with towels, went completely still.
Claire closed her eyes.
When she opened them, she kept her voice even.
"You are dirty right now."
Liam looked up.
"But dirty washes off."
She touched the sleeve of his shirt.
"It doesn't make you bad."
He considered that.
"Can wash with cloth?"
"Absolutely."
Mara found a plastic basin.
Claire filled it with warm water and let Liam test the temperature with one finger.
He washed himself slowly with a washcloth while sitting on a towel on the bathroom floor.
Claire helped only when he asked.
The water turned gray.
Neither woman commented.
When it came time to change clothes, Mara left without being told.
Claire turned her back while Liam undressed himself.
He handed her the dirty shirt.
"Trash?"
"No."
Claire folded it.
"We're keeping it for now."
He frowned.
"Why?"
Claire did not know how to explain documentation to a four-year-old.
"Because I need to."
He accepted that.
His clean pajamas had little blue rockets on them.
He touched one near his knee.
"Dino likes space."
"I forgot that."
"He went moon."
"Of course he did."
"Three times."
Claire nodded gravely.
"Experienced astronaut."
Liam climbed into her lap.
His damp hair smelled like Mara's unscented soap.
Not clean exactly, because Claire had not scrubbed it.
Just safer.
Her phone buzzed on the sink.
She looked at the screen.
Marilyn had sent a photograph.
A black trash bag had been torn open on a patch of grass.
Beside it lay Liam's green plastic dinosaur.
One orange eye missing.
Tail scarred with old bite marks.
Alive, in the only sense that mattered to Liam.
Claire turned the phone toward him.
His whole body changed.
"Dino."
He grabbed for the phone.
Claire let him hold it.
"She found him."
"Grandma?"
"Yes."
Liam stared at the picture.
"Can she wash him?"
Claire swallowed.
"I think she can."
He nodded.
"Not hot water."
"No hot water."
"It hurts his paint."
Claire typed exactly that.
Please wash him gently.
No hot water.
Marilyn replied with a heart, then deleted it before Claire finished looking.
A second message replaced it.
Okay.
Claire sat on the bathroom floor with Liam for another ten minutes while he examined the photograph as if checking for hidden injuries.
Mara made grilled cheese downstairs.
The smell drifted up.
Liam eventually asked, "Can Dino come here?"
Claire looked at him.
"Not tonight."
His face fell.
"Why?"
Because Jeffrey lived in that house.
Because Marilyn might change her mind.
Because an investigator might want the toy left where it was.
Because Claire suddenly saw every ordinary object as something that could be contaminated by adult decisions.
She chose the simplest truth.
"I don't want anybody driving over here tonight."
Liam frowned.
"Grandma drives slow."
Claire laughed despite herself.
"She does."
"Really slow."
"I know."
"Like turtle."
Claire kissed the top of his head.
"Tomorrow."
He thought about it.
"Promise?"
The word stopped her.
She had made promises casually before.
Promise we'll get pancakes.
Promise I'll find your red sock.
Promise Daddy loves you even when he's mad.
She did not want to make one she could not control.
Liam looked disappointed.
Claire hated that honesty could feel like failure.
Then he nodded.
"Okay."
Downstairs, Mara had cut the grilled cheese into squares.
Liam wanted triangles.
Mara stared at the plate.
"I have failed as a hostess."
Claire reached for a knife.
Liam stopped her.
"Squares okay."
Mara looked at Claire over his head.
Something passed between them.
He was already learning to reduce his requests.
Claire sat beside him.
"Triangles are okay too."
He looked at the sandwich.
"Squares faster."
"No hurry."
He ate half.
Then three bites of banana.
He drank water.
Claire watched every swallow until Mara kicked her lightly under the table.
"What?"
"Stop staring at him eat."
Claire looked down.
Liam was watching them both.
Mara took an exaggerated bite of her own sandwich.
"Your mother is weird."
Liam nodded.
Claire raised an eyebrow.
"Interesting alliance."
The phone rang.
Unknown number.
May you like
Claire's stomach tightened.
She stood and moved into the living room before answering.
