Chương 5
“Yes.”
For once, the answer came easily.
“I do.”
The police cruiser pulled away with Marcus in the back seat.
Rachel watched until it turned the corner.
Then she walked toward me.
Her face looked naked without anger.
“Can I talk to you?”
Warren said her name.
She ignored him.
“Claire, please.”
I looked at Lily.
She nodded toward my SUV.
“I’ll sit inside.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
She climbed into the passenger seat and closed the door.
Rachel waited until the locks clicked.
Then she said something I had not expected to hear from her.
“I need you not to hate me for five minutes.”
I folded my arms.
“I don’t hate you.”
“That almost makes it worse.”
She glanced toward Warren.
He had moved toward the porch, but he was still watching us.
Rachel lowered her voice.
“Marcus has never hit me.”
I said nothing.
“He’s punched walls.”
Still nothing.
“He broke the bathroom door once.”
Her eyes filled again.
“He said it was because I locked it.”
A coldness settled under my ribs.
“When?”
“Last winter.”
“Were you inside?”
She nodded.
“Did he try to get to you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Rachel.”
“I don’t know.”
Her voice cracked.
“He said he wanted to talk.”
“By breaking a door?”
“I know how it sounds.”
I looked toward Warren.
He was no longer pretending not to listen.
“Does his father know?”
Rachel followed my gaze.
“Yes.”
Warren turned away.
That was answer enough.
Rachel wiped her face again.
“I didn’t tell you because you would’ve done exactly what you’re doing now.”
“What am I doing?”
“Making it real.”
I stared at my sister.
For the first time all afternoon, I understood why she had smiled when Marcus threatened me.
It had not been pleasure.
It had been a performance.
She had learned the price of being the only person in the room who did not laugh.
I looked at Rachel for a long time before answering.
The street around us had begun to empty.
People carried half-finished plates back toward houses and folded lawn chairs that had seemed permanent an hour earlier.
Somebody finally remembered the grill and lifted the ruined burgers into a foil pan.
Warren stood on Rachel’s porch with his arms crossed, waiting for her to come back to the version of events that made him comfortable.
She did not move.
“What happened after the bathroom door?” I asked.
Rachel rubbed her thumb along the side of her plastic cup.
“He apologized.”
“How long after?”
“I don’t know.”
“You know.”
She closed her eyes.
“Two days.”
“Where did you sleep?”
“The guest room.”
“Did the door lock?”
Her mouth tightened.
“No.”
I looked toward Warren again.
He was watching us.
“Did Marcus scare you?”
Rachel laughed under her breath.
It was not amusement.
“You make everything sound so clean.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you ask questions like there’s one right answer.”
“There is sometimes.”
“No.”
She shook her head.
“There’s the answer you give yourself in the morning and the one you believe at three in the morning when somebody’s pacing outside the bedroom.”
That stopped me.
I had no useful reply.
Rachel glanced toward the SUV.
Lily sat with her knees pulled up, staring through the windshield.
“She shouldn’t have seen today.”
“No.”
“Neither should I.”
I looked at her.
Rachel swallowed.
“When you dropped him, I thought he was going to get up and kill you.”
Her voice went smaller.
“Then I thought maybe he couldn’t.”
A police siren faded somewhere far away.
“I was relieved.”
She pressed her lips together.
“Do you understand how awful that is?”
“Yes.”
She searched my face as though she expected judgment.
I had plenty of it.
Just not for that.
“It means you were afraid,” I said.
“It means I wanted my husband hurt.”
“It means you wanted the threat to stop.”
“That sounds nicer.”
“It isn’t nice.”
Rachel looked down.
“No.”
Warren called from the porch.
“Rachel.”
She flinched.
It was quick.
Most people would have missed it.
I did not.
He called again.
“You need to come inside.”
Rachel’s shoulders stiffened.
“I’m talking to my sister.”
“You’ve talked enough.”
His tone carried the strange confidence of a man who had never considered that she might refuse him.
Rachel stared at the house.
“That’s what he does.”
“Warren?”
“Both of them.”
She laughed once.
“Marcus gets loud.”
She nodded toward the porch.
“His dad gets quiet.”
Warren stepped off the porch.
I moved slightly without thinking.
Rachel noticed.
“Don’t.”
“What?”
“Do that.”
“Do what?”
“Turn into whatever you turn into.”
I let my hands fall loose at my sides.
Warren stopped several feet away.
“This is not the time for you to fill her head.”
Rachel looked at him.
“My head is already full.”
“Your husband just got hauled off because of her.”
“He got hauled off because he grabbed her.”
Warren’s jaw worked.
“You don’t know what happened.”
“I was standing there.”
“You were upset.”
“I was standing there.”
He looked at me.
“This is exactly what she wants.”
I almost asked what he thought I wanted.
Rachel beat me to it.
“What does she want?”
Warren hesitated.
That mattered too.
He had grown comfortable speaking in conclusions because nobody forced him to provide the steps.
“She’s always resented Marcus.”
Rachel’s face changed.
“Why?”
“Because he’s successful.”
I actually laughed.
Warren looked offended.
“Sorry,” I said.
“No, you’re not.”
“No.”
Rachel rubbed her forehead.
“Dad, go home.”
Warren stared at her.
She repeated it.
“I need you to go.”
“This is my son we’re talking about.”
“He’s not your son.”
Warren recoiled as if she had slapped him.
Rachel seemed surprised by her own cruelty but did not take it back.
“He’s your son,” she said more carefully.
“He’s my husband.”
“Exactly.”
“No.”
Rachel shook her head.
“That doesn’t mean exactly.”
Warren stepped closer.
“You’re upset.”
“I’m not confused.”
“You’re making decisions while emotional.”
May you like
Rachel gave him a tired smile.
“That’s funny coming from this family.”
