Chương 12
“What was in the envelope?”
I did not answer.
“Claire.”
“Something Daniel gave me.”
“What?”
“Not here.”
Her face hardened.
“You keep moving the line.”
“I’m trying to keep you out of something that may not have anything to do with you.”
“My husband stole a trunk from my mother’s house.”
“Our mother’s house.”
“You know what I mean.”
She stepped closer.
“He used my name to do it.”
“I heard her.”
“So stop talking like I’m standing outside this.”
Hernandez said quietly, “She has a point.”
I looked at her.
“That’s helpful.”
“Occupational hazard.”
Rachel folded her arms.
“What was in the envelope?”
I rubbed my jaw.
“A copy of a statement Daniel wrote after I came home.”
Her expression changed.
“About your marriage?”
“About me.”
“What kind of statement?”
“One he made for my doctor.”
Rachel stared at me.
“Your doctor?”
“Daniel was trying to document what was happening.”
“What was happening?”
I looked through the open front door.
Lily was no longer in sight.
Her voice floated faintly from the back of the house.
I lowered mine anyway.
“I wasn’t sleeping.”
Rachel waited.
“I was drinking too much.”
Her eyes flickered.
“You never drank around us.”
“I was good at planning.”
That hurt her.
I kept going.
“I had panic episodes.”
“What kind?”
“The kind where I didn’t recognize where I was for a few seconds.”
Rachel’s arms slowly unfolded.
“Did you hurt yourself?”
“No.”
“Daniel?”
“No.”
“Lily?”
“No.”
“Then why did he write a statement?”
“Because one night I woke up and thought someone was inside the house.”
Rachel went still.
I watched the porch light reflect in the kitchen window.
“I cleared every room with a kitchen knife.”
Her face drained.
“Was Lily home?”
“Yes.”
“How old?”
“Three.”
Rachel whispered something I could not hear.
“I never went into her room.”
“That doesn’t make it fine.”
“I know.”
“Did she see you?”
“No.”
“Daniel did?”
“Yes.”
“What happened?”
“He talked me down.”
“How?”
“He stood in the hallway and kept repeating my name.”
My mouth had gone dry.
“He did that for almost ten minutes.”
Rachel stared at me.
“I thought he left because you two stopped loving each other.”
“I let people believe that.”
“Why?”
“Because it sounded less ugly.”
Her voice sharpened.
“Less ugly for who?”
There was the old Rachel.
The one who could turn fear into anger before anybody saw the first thing.
“For me.”
She looked away.
I let the answer sit.
Hernandez asked, “Would that statement contain operational details?”
“No.”
“Names?”
“Maybe Cole’s.”
Rachel turned back.
“How?”
“Daniel mentioned incidents I talked about in my sleep.”
“What incidents?”
“I don’t know exactly what he wrote.”
“You kept the letter.”
“I kept the envelope sealed.”
“Why?”
I almost said I did not know.
This time I forced myself further.
“Because throwing it away felt like pretending Daniel had imagined everything.”
Rachel’s expression softened for half a second.
Then the phone in Hernandez’s hand buzzed inside the paper bag.
All three of us looked at it.
Hernandez did not touch the screen.
“Whoever is messaging really wants Marcus.”
Rachel said, “Can you see the preview?”
“Not without handling it.”
“Can’t you just look?”
“Not casually.”
“That phone was in my house.”
“And right now I’m trying not to create problems with evidence.”
Rachel made a frustrated sound.
I understood it.
Hernandez’s radio crackled.
She listened.
Then she looked at me.
“Unit at your mother’s house says she’s fine.”
Some tension left my shoulders.
“They’re checking the basement?”
“They’re confirming the trunk is gone.”
“It’s gone.”
“We still confirm.”
Rachel glanced at me.
“You like her.”
“I’m developing concerns.”
Hernandez ignored us.
“Another thing.”
My stomach tightened again.
“The officer asked your mother whether Marcus took anything else.”
“What did she say?”
“A cardboard file box.”
I closed my eyes.
Rachel said, “What file box?”
“Old papers.”
“What kind of papers?”
“Military.”
“Classified?”
“No.”
“You sound sure.”
“I am.”
Hernandez asked, “What specifically?”
“Medical records.”
“Yours?”
“Yes.”
“Anything else?”
“Evaluation summaries.”
Rachel looked confused.
“Evaluations for what?”
“Fitness.”
“Fitness like running?”
“No.”
The word came flat.
“Fitness for duty.”
That silenced her.
Hernandez asked, “Why were those at your mother’s house?”
“Because after I separated from Daniel, I stored things there temporarily.”
“Temporarily for how many years?”
“Apparently eight.”
She gave me a look.
“Government employee.”
“I understand the irony.”
Rachel leaned against the railing.
“So Marcus has documents saying you were unstable.”
I turned sharply.
“That is not what I said.”
“It’s what people will say if they see them.”
The sentence hit with ugly precision.
She noticed.
“So that’s it.”
“No.”
“Claire.”
“The evaluations say I had post-deployment adjustment issues and sleep disruption.”
“Does that sound better when someone posts one page online without context?”
I looked away.
Rachel nodded once.
“He didn’t just want to know what you did.”
“No.”
“He wanted something he could use.”
“Maybe.”
She gave me a furious look.
“Stop saying maybe.”
“I’m not going to invent motive because I’m angry.”
“He stole your records.”
“Yes.”
“He asked about your deployment photos.”
“Yes.”
“He took a second phone into our house.”
“Yes.”
“And someone is texting him about you.”
“Yes.”
Her voice cracked.
“Then what exactly are you waiting for?”
“Proof that the pieces fit the story we’re telling ourselves.”
Hernandez said, “That’s actually the correct instinct.”
Rachel turned on her.
“I know you’re the police, but I’m having a hard time with correct instincts tonight.”
“I noticed.”
Rachel almost snapped back.
Instead she laughed once.
It came out exhausted.
“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be scared of.”
That was the most honest sentence anybody had said in several minutes.
I sat back down.
“Neither do I.”
She looked at me.
“That makes me feel worse.”
“Sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I’m trying something new.”
She rolled her eyes.
May you like
That tiny gesture made her look seventeen.
For a moment, we were back in our father’s kitchen arguing over who had eaten the last frozen waffle.
