Chương 5
“What are their names?”
Samantha’s expression cracked.
“Lucas and Noah.”
I repeated the names silently.
“Which is which?”
“Lucas talks more.”
That almost made me smile.
It did not.
“Did you ever try to tell me after you came to my mother’s house?”
“Yes.”
“How many times?”
She looked down.
“Enough.”
“What does that mean?”
“Calls.”
She counted on her fingers without seeming aware of it.
“Emails.”
Another finger.
“Two certified letters.”
My stomach tightened.
“I never received letters.”
“I know.”
“How do you know?”
“One was returned.”
“And the other?”
She looked at me.
“Your mother signed for it.”
I stared at her.
“When?”
“Three days before the twins were born.”
The corridor seemed suddenly too narrow.
“What did the letter say?”
“That I was having twins.”
Her voice became smaller.
“That I had scheduled an induction because Lucas wasn’t growing as quickly as Noah.”
I pressed my fist against my mouth.
“And she signed for it.”
“Yes.”
“Did she answer you?”
“No.”
“Then why did you stop trying?”
Samantha’s eyes hardened.
“I didn’t.”
A new fear opened beneath everything else.
“What happened?”
She looked toward the corridor where our sons were waiting.
Then she said the name I least wanted to hear.
“Chloe happened.”
For a second, I thought I had misheard her.
“What do you mean, Chloe happened?”
Samantha leaned back against the metal cabinet and crossed her arms as though she needed something to hold together.
“About a month after the boys were born, I got a call from a woman who said she worked with you in Vancouver.”
My mouth went dry.
“She said her name was Chloe?”
“Yes.”
“What did she want?”
“She told me you knew about the twins.”
I stared at her.
Samantha’s eyes never left mine.
“She said you had received my messages and that you had decided you didn’t want contact.”
“That’s a lie.”
“I know that now.”
“You believed her?”
“I didn’t want to.”
Her jaw tightened.
“I asked her to put you on the phone.”
“What did she say?”
“That you refused.”
A luggage cart rattled past the far end of the corridor.
Neither of us moved until the noise disappeared.
Samantha rubbed the pale mark on her ring finger, although there had not been a ring there in years.
“She knew things, Ethan.”
“What things?”
“She knew where you were living.”
“That could have come from my mother.”
“She knew about your promotion.”
I frowned.
“I hadn’t told my mother about that yet.”
“I know.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I called her two days after Chloe called me.”
“You called my mother?”
Samantha gave me a look that was almost offended.
“Of course I called your mother.”
“What did she say?”
“That you had moved on.”
The words were flat now.
“She told me the kindest thing I could do was stop disrupting your life.”
I looked toward the ceiling and breathed through my nose.
“She and Chloe were coordinating.”
“I don’t know.”
“You think they were.”
“I think your mother knew more than she admits.”
“That’s not exactly a high bar.”
Samantha glanced toward the boys again.
“I was exhausted, Ethan.”
Her voice changed.
Not softer.
Simply less defended.
“Lucas had reflux so badly he screamed for hours, and Noah only slept if I held him against my chest.”
I shut my eyes.
The details hurt in a way the word twins had not.
“I was back at work six weeks after they were born because my maternity leave was mostly unpaid.”
“You were still at Halpern?”
“For a while.”
“What happened?”
She laughed once without humor.
“What do you think happened?”
“I don’t know.”
“That was the problem.”
I waited.
She pushed away from the cabinet.
“I missed too many days.”
“Because of the boys?”
“Because babies get sick.”
She looked irritated that I needed the explanation.
“Because daycare calls you at eleven in the morning and says one child has a fever, and then his brother has it by midnight.”
I stared at the floor.
“I didn’t know.”
“No.”
“I should have.”
“Yes.”
There was no cruelty in the answer.
That made it worse.
I ran a hand through my hair.
“Why didn’t you come to Vancouver?”
Samantha’s expression hardened again.
“With two newborns?”
“I mean later.”
“Later I was broke.”
“I would have paid.”
“You supposedly didn’t want us.”
“That was a lie.”
“Yes, Ethan, I understand that now.”
Her voice rose just enough that a woman pushing a wheelchair glanced our way.
Samantha waited until the woman passed.
Then she lowered her voice.
“At the time, I had your mother telling me to disappear and your future fiancée telling me you didn’t want your own children.”
“She wasn’t my future fiancée then.”
“That distinction isn’t helping.”
I looked at her.
“When exactly did Chloe call you?”
“November.”
The boys had been born in October.
I did the arithmetic automatically.
Chloe and I had not gone on our first date until January.
At least that was what I had believed.
“Was she already in Vancouver?”
“She said she was.”
“She was doing contract work there.”
“I know.”
“How?”
“She told me.”
My stomach tightened.
“What else did she tell you?”
Samantha hesitated.
“She said you were seeing each other.”
I shook my head.
“No.”
“She said it wasn’t serious yet.”
“No.”
“She said that was why she felt bad for me.”
“We hadn’t even had dinner.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Nothing.”
I pressed my palm against the cold cabinet.
“I’m trying to figure out which parts of my life actually happened.”
Samantha looked at me for several seconds.
“That feeling doesn’t belong only to you.”
I nodded.
She was right.
That irritated me, which was unfair, and I hated myself a little for it.
“How did Chloe get your number?”
“I assumed your mother gave it to her.”
“She says she barely knew you existed.”
May you like
“I never said she knew me.”
“She knew enough to call you.”
