Chương 9
“You should have unplugged that thing weeks ago.”
“I didn’t know it was there.”
“I know.”
“That somehow makes it worse.”
Rosa glanced at the face-down camera.
“Yes.”
Leo finished the last of his bottle and relaxed against Elena’s chest.
She lifted him carefully to her shoulder.
A small burp came after several pats.
Rosa smiled.
“Elegant.”
“He gets that from his father.”
From the hallway came the low murmur of Marcus’s voice.
Victoria answered.
Neither was loud enough to understand.
Elena looked toward the nursery door.
Rosa followed her gaze.
“Do not listen.”
“I’m not.”
“You are listening with your whole face.”
Elena shifted Leo higher.
“I’m trying not to hear.”
“That is different.”
Another stretch of muffled conversation passed through the wall.
Then silence.
Long enough that Elena wondered whether one of them had left.
She hated that she was curious.
She hated more that curiosity had become part of surviving the house.
For years she had learned people by listening to their footsteps.
Marcus walked quickly when angry and slowly when guilty.
Victoria moved almost silently until she wanted someone to know she had entered.
Rosa stomped when offended and somehow stomped even harder when pretending not to be.
Leo made no distinctions yet.
Everyone was warmth, smell, voice, and hands.
Elena looked down at him.
“That seems easier.”
Rosa frowned.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Rosa studied her.
“You are going to quit.”
Elena gave a tired laugh.
“You decided that fifteen minutes ago.”
“I decide many things correctly.”
“You also decided Mr. Vale was having an affair because he started wearing cologne.”
“He changed cologne.”
“He had meetings.”
“Men have meetings and affairs.”
Elena smiled despite herself.
“He wasn’t.”
“That we know.”
“Rosa.”
“I am trying to make you laugh.”
“It’s working.”
“Good.”
Leo’s eyelids fluttered.
Elena ran one finger along the soft edge of the carrier.
Her hip had started pulsing now.
The cold from the peas was wearing off.
She pictured driving home later and climbing the three flights to her apartment.
The thought alone made her tired.
Rosa noticed her face.
“Doctor.”
“Soon.”
“That means no.”
“It means soon.”
“You sound like rich people.”
Elena looked offended.
“Take that back.”
Rosa smiled.
The nursery door opened.
Marcus stood there.
He looked older than he had twenty minutes earlier.
Not dramatically.
Just diminished.
“Can I come in?”
Elena looked at Rosa.
Rosa shrugged.
“It is technically his room.”
Marcus leaned against the doorframe.
“I’m going to pretend that was permission.”
He stepped inside.
His eyes went to the bookshelf.
Then to the unplugged camera.
He nodded once.
“Good.”
Elena watched him.
“Did she tell you to say that?”
“No.”
“Did you tell her I unplugged it?”
“No.”
“Are you going to?”
“Yes.”
Elena appreciated the answer.
Marcus pulled the desk chair away from the wall and sat.
For a few seconds he watched Leo sleep.
Then he said, “Victoria is calling Dr. Halpern.”
Rosa nodded.
“That sounds sensible.”
“She asked me not to be in the room while she does it.”
Elena looked at him.
“And you came here.”
“I didn’t know where else to go.”
Rosa gave him a dry look.
“There are twenty-two rooms.”
“Twenty-three.”
“That makes it worse.”
Marcus rubbed the back of his neck.
Elena shifted Leo.
“What happens now?”
He looked at her.
“With Victoria?”
“With all of this.”
Marcus breathed out slowly.
“I told her I think we need some space.”
Elena’s eyebrows rose.
Rosa looked unimpressed.
“Space where?”
“I’ll stay in the guest wing tonight.”
“That is not space.”
Marcus frowned.
“There’s an entire courtyard between—”
Rosa waved a hand.
“You know what I mean.”
He nodded.
“I do.”
Elena watched him choose his next words.
“I also told her I’m not making decisions about Leo tonight.”
“That is probably wise.”
“I don’t know what wise means anymore.”
Rosa stood.
“It means no one makes life decisions while bleeding, concussed, drunk, or furious.”
Marcus looked at Elena’s bruised hip.
“Two out of four.”
“I am not furious.”
Elena said it too quickly.
Rosa smiled.
“Three out of four.”
Elena rolled her eyes.
Marcus almost smiled.
Then the expression disappeared.
“She asked whether I thought she was a bad mother.”
Elena said nothing.
Marcus stared at the floor.
“I didn’t know how to answer.”
Rosa crossed her arms.
“You answer the question she actually asks.”
Marcus looked up.
“What does that mean?”
“She was not asking whether she is bad.”
Rosa pointed toward the hallway.
“She was asking whether today is all you see when you look at her now.”
Marcus became very still.
Elena looked at Rosa.
Rosa noticed.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“You did the face.”
“What face?”
“The surprised face when I say something intelligent.”
“I did not.”
“You did.”
Marcus let out a tired laugh.
Then he rubbed both hands over his face.
“I told her what she did today was dangerous.”
“That is true,” Elena said.
“I told her I don’t trust her judgment right now.”
Rosa nodded slowly.
“Also true.”
“And then I told her I still don’t know what kind of mother she is.”
Elena winced.
Marcus looked at her.
“That bad?”
“Yes.”
“I thought it was honest.”
“It was honest.”
“That doesn’t mean it was useful,” Rosa said.
Marcus looked miserable.
Elena almost felt sorry for him.
Then she remembered the slap.
Her sympathy shortened.
“Did she answer?”
“She said she doesn’t know either.”
The room went quiet.
Leo’s breathing remained steady against Elena’s shoulder.
Marcus leaned back in the chair.
“She told me something else.”
Elena looked toward the door.
“If it’s private—”
“It concerns you.”
Her stomach tightened.
Marcus glanced toward the unplugged camera.
“She didn’t just watch the nursery feed when she was anxious.”
Elena felt her fingers go still against Leo’s back.
“What does that mean?”
“She saved clips.”
Rosa’s face hardened.
Elena looked at Marcus.
“Clips of what?”
“You with Leo.”
The answer landed cold.
“For what?”
Marcus swallowed.
“She said she was keeping track.”
May you like
“Of me?”
“Of how often you were in here.”
