Chương 4
“With what?”
“His company.”
“I know what he does.”
“Then why are you asking?”
“Because I want to hear you say it.”
He stared at me.
I had almost forgotten how handsome he could look when he was tired.
That thought made me furious with myself.
Nathan owned a regional logistics company that handled medical equipment distribution across three states.
He had started with two rented vans and a warehouse unit twelve years earlier and turned it into something respectable enough that Julian had spent most family gatherings making jokes about how Nathan had finally discovered capitalism.
Julian had always been the polished brother.
Nathan had been the one who wore work boots to Thanksgiving.
“Last fall, he lost his director of operations,” Julian said.
“And?”
“He asked if I could help for a few weeks.”
“You said yes.”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Julian looked down.
“I was embarrassed.”
I waited.
He looked up.
“That’s the truth.”
“Try again.”
“It is the truth.”
“You were embarrassed to have a job?”
“To work for my little brother.”
The answer was so pathetic that for a moment I could only stare at him.
Julian saw it in my face.
“Go ahead.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“You watched me cry over a daycare bill because you were too embarrassed to tell me you had a job.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“How was it?”
“At first, Nathan was paying me as a contractor.”
“So?”
“I didn’t know if it would last.”
“So?”
“I didn’t want to tell you I had something and then lose that too.”
I leaned both hands on the island.
“Then why hide the money?”
His jaw tightened.
“There were reasons.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“I know.”
“Where is the money?”
“In the account.”
“All of it?”
“Most of it.”
“What happened to the rest?”
He looked toward the backyard.
The guests were thinning now.
I could see Selina standing alone near the pool while Nathan talked to his mother.
“Julian.”
“I used some.”
“For what?”
“Nothing.”
I laughed again.
“Nothing costs money now?”
“God, Claire.”
“Don’t say my name like I’m exhausting you.”
He pushed away from the refrigerator.
“I bought things.”
“What things?”
“A laptop.”
“You have a laptop.”
“A new one.”
“What else?”
“Clothes.”
I looked him up and down.
He was wearing swim trunks I had bought him.
“How much?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I was cutting coupons while you were hiding income.”
His nostrils flared.
“You want every receipt?”
“Yes.”
“That’s insane.”
“No, insane was me asking if we should cancel Sophie’s gymnastics while you had thousands of dollars sitting somewhere I didn’t know existed.”
“I was saving it.”
“For what?”
He did not answer.
The back door opened.
Nathan stepped inside.
Julian’s shoulders stiffened.
“I told you to stay out of this.”
Nathan closed the door behind him.
“And I told you this morning you couldn’t keep doing it.”
I looked at Nathan.
“This morning?”
Nathan’s mouth tightened.
Julian said, “Don’t.”
Nathan ignored him.
“He knew you found the statement.”
I stared at Julian.
“How?”
Nathan answered.
“Because he called me.”
The room became very quiet.
I looked at the clock above the stove.
It was 8:42.
That detail fixed itself in my mind for no reason I could explain.
“What did he say?”
Nathan glanced at his brother.
Julian looked away.
“He asked me to cover for him.”
My hands went cold.
“Cover what?”
Nathan did not answer immediately.
Julian stepped forward.
“Enough.”
“No.”
Nathan’s voice shook now.
“You don’t get to say enough.”
Julian laughed under his breath.
“You’re really enjoying this.”
“I hate this.”
“You always hated me.”
“That is not true.”
“You’ve been waiting your whole life to be the successful one.”
Nathan’s face changed.
There was old history there, something worn smooth from years of use.
“Yeah,” he said.
“For a long time, I did.”
Julian looked almost startled.
Nathan continued.
“I wanted Dad to look at me the way he looked at you.”
Julian said nothing.
“I wanted Mom to brag about me at church.”
Elaine was not in the kitchen, but Nathan lowered his voice anyway.
“I wanted people to stop asking why I didn’t go to college when you had a master’s degree.”
He swallowed.
“And then I grew up.”
Julian’s mouth twisted.
“Congratulations.”
“I hired you because you were good.”
Julian looked at him.
“You were better at the job than anyone I’d interviewed.”
That was the first kind thing anyone had said about Julian all evening.
It seemed to hurt him.
Nathan rubbed his palms against his shorts.
“You fixed the scheduling mess in six weeks.”
He looked at me.
“He renegotiated two vendor contracts.”
Julian snapped, “Stop talking about me like I’m not here.”
“You are here.”
Nathan turned on him.
“That’s the problem.”
Julian went still.
“You’re here with a wife who thinks you’ve been unemployed for two years.”
Nathan’s voice broke slightly.
“You made me part of that.”
I looked at him.
“You knew the whole time?”
“No.”
“How long?”
Nathan hesitated.
“Claire.”
“How long did you know he hadn’t told me?”
“Four months.”
That answer hurt in a different place.
Nathan saw it.
“I thought he was going to tell you.”
“Four months.”
“He said he was.”
“You saw me at Christmas.”
“I know.”
“You saw me paying for everything.”
“I didn’t know the details.”
“You asked me if I was okay.”
“I know.”
“And I lied to you.”
His face folded.
“I know.”
Selina appeared at the doorway.
She did not come inside.
“Nathan.”
He turned.
She held his phone in one hand.
“You left this outside.”
“Thanks.”
She did not hand it to him.
Instead, she looked at me.
“I didn’t know.”
I nodded once.
“I believe you.”
Nathan closed his eyes briefly.
Selina looked at him.
“I didn’t.”
“I know.”
“No, I mean I didn’t know you knew.”
May you like
“I know.”
She laughed softly, but there was no humor in it.
