Chương 8
“I can’t discuss personnel matters.”
Daniel understood.
She had said the sentence people said when they knew something but could not say it.
“Can we get the records?”
Karen looked at the screen.
“I can request them.”
“Request?”
“Yes.”
“How long?”
“I don’t know.”
Daniel looked at Claire.
The frustration was almost impossible to control.
Every answer created another door.
Every door led to another locked room.
“What happens if the records don’t exist?”
Karen’s face softened.
“Then you may need to speak with legal services.”
The phrase made Claire tense.
Daniel saw it.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“No.”
He turned toward her.
“You don’t get to say nothing anymore.”
The words were not loud.
That made them sharper.
Claire looked hurt.
But she nodded.
“I know.”
Outside the hospital, they sat in the car for several minutes without turning on the engine.
Rain had started while they were inside.
Small drops covered the windshield.
Daniel watched them gather and slide downward.
“I’m angry,” he said.
Claire looked straight ahead.
“I know.”
“I’m angry because you hid this.”
“I know.”
“I’m angry because I feel like everyone knew more about my daughter than I did.”
Claire’s face tightened.
“But?”
He looked at her.
She knew him too well.
She knew there was always a second half.
“But I’m also angry because I don’t know if you were trying to hurt me.”
Claire looked down.
“I wasn’t.”
“I believe that.”
She looked surprised.
“You do?”
“Yes.”
The admission seemed to affect her more than anger would have.
“But believing you doesn’t make this okay.”
“I know.”
They sat quietly.
Then Claire said, “I was afraid you would leave.”
Daniel looked at her.
“Because Lily wasn’t biologically mine?”
“No.”
The answer came immediately.
“Because I lied.”
He did not expect that.
Claire wiped beneath her eye.
“I knew you loved her.”
“Then why?”
“Because I knew how much you loved her.”
The words confused him.
She continued.
“You spent months before we got her talking about being a father.”
Daniel looked away.
He remembered.
The spare room.
The baby books.
The ridiculous amount of research he did about car seats and sleep schedules.
“I had already lost one pregnancy,” Claire said quietly.
Daniel turned.
She rarely talked about it.
Not anymore.
“I thought if I told you everything, you would look at our family and wonder if it was built on someone else’s loss.”
“That’s not fair.”
“I know.”
“You don’t get to decide what I can handle.”
“I know.”
She looked at him.
“But I was scared.”
There it was again.
The word she had used all day.
Scared.
Daniel wanted to be angry enough that it erased everything else.
He wanted a simple person to blame.
But there was no simple version.
Only people making choices with incomplete information.
Only people trying to protect things they were afraid to lose.
His phone buzzed.
Rachel.
He stared at it.
Then answered.
“Hello.”
“Did you find out?”
Daniel looked at Claire.
“Yes.”
A pause.
“What did she tell you?”
Daniel frowned.
“She?”
“Claire.”
“You sound like you already know.”
“I know she was afraid.”
Daniel leaned back.
“Everyone keeps knowing things.”
Rachel was quiet.
“That’s fair.”
“Did you know about Dr. Cole?”
Another pause.
“Yes.”
The answer was immediate.
Daniel closed his eyes.
“Why?”
“Because he was the one who contacted me after Lily was born.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
Daniel almost laughed.
“Again.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No.”
He looked out at the rain.
“I don’t need apologies.”
“Then what do you need?”
The question surprised him.
He answered honestly.
“The truth.”
Rachel was quiet for several seconds.
Then she said, “Dr. Cole wasn’t just helping with the adoption.”
Daniel felt his grip tighten around the phone.
“What else was he doing?”
“He was trying to find Lily’s father.”
Claire looked at him.
Daniel turned away.
“Why?”
“Because there was something wrong with the information in the file.”
“What information?”
“I don’t know.”
“Rachel.”
“I’m telling you what I know.”
Daniel believed she meant it.
That was becoming the hardest part.
The truth was not arriving as one complete answer.
It was arriving in fragments.
Fragments that forced him to rebuild everything.
“Where is Dr. Cole now?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you try to find him?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
Rachel’s voice lowered.
“I found out he left medicine.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
Daniel closed his eyes.
He almost ended the call.
Then Rachel said something that stopped him.
“But before he disappeared, he sent me one message.”
“What message?”
A pause.
“He said, ‘If Daniel ever finds out, tell him not to trust the first story he hears.’”
Daniel looked at Claire.
She looked back at him.
Neither of them spoke.
Because they both understood the same thing.
The first story.
The one they had lived for five years.
The one where everything had a simple explanation.
A mother gave up a child.
A couple adopted her.
A family was created.
Daniel looked at the hospital entrance through the rain-covered windshield.
For the first time, he wondered if the story had been wrong from the beginning.
And if it was wrong, he needed to know who had written it.
The rain continued as Daniel drove home, but the storm inside the car had already become louder than anything outside.
Claire sat beside him with both hands folded in her lap.
She had always been someone who filled silence.
Not with meaningless words.
With small observations.
A funny thing Lily did.
A complaint about traffic.
A reminder that they needed milk.
Now she said nothing.
Daniel realized how much he missed that.
Not because everything was fixed.
Because he missed the ordinary version of them.
When they reached the apartment, Lily was asleep at Claire’s sister’s house.
They had decided she should stay there overnight.
Neither of them said it, but they both knew they needed time without their daughter watching their faces.
Inside, Daniel placed the keys on the counter.
May you like
The sound seemed too loud.
“What do we do now?” Claire asked.
