Chương 4
She had never seen her hesitate.
Now she watched her mother sit in front of three adult children and look like someone who had been carrying a heavy box for so long she no longer remembered what it felt like to stand without it.
"Call her," Daniel said.
Elaine looked up.
"No."
"Why?"
"Because once we do, there is no going back."
Daniel gave a small shake of his head.
"Mom, there hasn't been a way back since Mara found those letters."
Mara wanted to disagree.
She wanted to say the letters were the problem.
The truth was the problem.
Rebecca was the problem.
But somewhere deep down, she knew Daniel was right.
The family they had before dinner was already gone.
Elaine stood and walked toward the kitchen.
Nobody stopped her.
Nobody knew what they were supposed to do with a mother who suddenly seemed fragile.
Mara watched her open a cabinet, take out a mug, and then close the cabinet without putting anything inside.
A meaningless movement.
Something a person did when they needed their hands to be busy.
Their father used to do the same thing.
Open the refrigerator.
Stand there.
Close it.
Mara had always thought he was forgetting what he wanted.
Now she wondered what else she had misunderstood.
"Did Dad ever talk about her?" Lily asked.
Elaine remained facing the counter.
"Once."
"When?"
"The night before our twentieth anniversary."
Daniel frowned.
"Why would he talk about her then?"
Elaine looked down at the mug in her hand.
"Because he got a letter."
Mara felt a cold sensation move through her arms.
"From Rebecca?"
Elaine nodded.
"What did it say?"
Her mother did not answer immediately.
"She wanted to know if he was happy."
The room became painfully quiet.
It was such a simple question.
Almost harmless.
Yet Mara understood why it mattered.
Not because Rebecca had asked.
Because Thomas had answered.
"What did he say?" Mara asked.
Elaine finally turned around.
"He said yes."
Daniel let out a breath.
"Then why are we sitting here acting like something terrible happened?"
Elaine looked at him.
"Because he wrote that answer to her, then spent the next three months sleeping on the couch."
Nobody spoke.
Mara stared at her mother.
"You knew?"
Elaine nodded.
"Why?"
The question came out harsher than Mara intended.
Elaine looked wounded, but she did not defend herself.
"Because I thought if I gave him space, he would come back."
Daniel looked away.
That answer seemed to hurt him.
Not because it was wrong.
Because he understood it.
"You stayed because you were waiting for him to choose you."
Elaine's eyes filled slightly.
"I was his wife."
"But that's not what I asked."
Elaine sat back down.
"No."
Her voice was quiet.
"I stayed because I was afraid that if I stopped fighting for my marriage, I would have to admit I had spent years fighting alone."
Mara looked at the Christmas tree.
She had always hated that her parents never argued.
When she was younger, she thought it meant they were stronger than other couples.
Only now did she realize some people were quiet because they had nothing left to say.
The front door suddenly opened.
Everyone turned.
A cold gust of air moved through the hallway, carrying the smell of snow and wet pavement.
For a brief second, Mara expected someone from outside.
A neighbor.
A delivery person.
Anyone who belonged in the normal world.
Instead, Daniel's wife, Claire, stepped inside holding her coat over one arm.
She stopped when she saw their faces.
"Okay."
She looked around.
"What happened?"
Nobody answered.
Claire glanced at the table.
The untouched food.
The envelope.
The phone.
She slowly closed the door behind her.
"I thought I was late for dinner."
"You were," Daniel said.
Claire looked at him.
"Apparently I missed something."
Daniel rubbed his forehead.
"You have no idea."
Claire had been married to Daniel for six years.
She knew his moods better than most people.
She knew when he was angry and pretending not to be.
She knew when he was scared and disguising it as irritation.
She walked closer.
"Daniel."
He looked at her.
And for the first time that night, Mara saw her brother stop pretending.
"Our dad had someone before Mom."
Claire glanced at Elaine.
"Okay."
"Someone he was supposed to marry."
The room shifted.
Claire looked at Mara.
Then Lily.
Then back to Elaine.
"Does everyone know what this means except me?"
"No," Lily said.
"Apparently nobody knows anything."
The bitterness in Lily's voice surprised everyone.
Claire sat beside her.
"What happened?"
Mara almost laughed.
That was the impossible question.
Where did a family begin explaining a secret that had existed longer than some of its members?
She picked up the envelope again.
"We found letters."
Claire looked at the paper.
"From who?"
"Rebecca Hale."
The name changed Claire's expression.
Mara noticed.
"Do you know her?"
"No."
The answer came quickly.
Too quickly.
Daniel noticed.
"Claire."
She looked at him.
"What?"
"You hesitated."
Claire looked uncomfortable.
"Because I've heard the name."
"From where?"
She looked toward Elaine.
"I don't know if I should be the one saying this."
Nobody moved.
Elaine's face went pale.
"Claire."
"I saw it in Dad's files."
Mara's grip tightened.
"What files?"
Claire looked at Daniel.
He understood before she finished.
"At the firm?"
Claire nodded.
Daniel's law firm had handled Thomas's estate documents after his death.
It had been routine.
Paperwork.
Accounts.
Property transfers.
At least that was what everyone thought.
"What did you see?" Daniel asked.
Claire swallowed.
"A folder with Rebecca Hale's name on it."
Mara felt the room narrow.
"What was inside?"
Claire looked down.
"I don't know."
Daniel stared at her.
"You don't know?"
"It wasn't part of the estate file."
She paused.
"I shouldn't have seen it."
"How did you see it?"
Claire hesitated.
"Because Dad had requested it be kept separate."
Elaine looked at her.
"What?"
May you like
Claire turned toward her.
"The folder had a note attached."
