Chương 10
The next morning, Rachel told Leo at the kitchen table.
He wore pajamas and one white sneaker. The other rested beneath his chair because he had been practicing tying the laces faster.
“The test says Adrian is your biological father,” she said.
Leo stared at the unfinished knot.
“Biological means real?”
“It means you share DNA.”
“Is he my real dad?”
Rachel took too long to answer.
“He is your father,” she said. “Being your dad is something the two of you would have to decide over time.”
“Does he want to?”
“Yes.”
“How do you know?”
“He told me.”
“Do you believe him?”
Rachel rubbed a thumb across a scratch in the tabletop. “I believe he wants to now.”
“That’s not the same.”
“No.”
Leo pulled the loose shoe onto his foot. “Did he know my name before I came?”
“Yes.”
“Did he have a room for me?”
The question broke something she had kept braced since the porch.
“No, honey.”
“Did he buy stuff?”
“No.”
“Did he look for me?”
“He says he tried to reach me before you were born. After that, he believed I was dead.”
“Because his mom lied.”
“That’s what the evidence suggests.”
Leo tightened the first lace. “Are you mad at him?”
“Yes.”
“Are you mad at me?”
Rachel moved around the table and knelt beside him.
“Never for this.”
“You made me give the shoes back.”
“I was angry at what they reminded me of.”
“They reminded you of him?”
“They reminded me that people with money can give something and then act like they own the person who took it.”
“Caleb doesn’t.”
“No. Caleb doesn’t.”
“Does Adrian?”
Rachel thought of the legal advice hidden behind his careful words and the sentence he had used when cornered.
“I don’t know yet.”
Leo pulled the second lace tight. “Can I see him?”
Fear moved through her so swiftly that she almost said no.
She put both hands on her knees.
“Yes,” she said. “But I’ll be there.”
Adrian’s first official visit with Leo took place at a public park on Sunday afternoon.
Rachel chose a picnic table near the playground. Caleb came because Leo asked for him. Adrian brought no gifts.
For twenty minutes, the boys kicked a soccer ball while Rachel and Adrian sat at opposite ends of the table.
“He looks like you when he runs,” Rachel said.
Adrian watched Leo hold his arms too close to his body. “He looks like he expects the ground to charge him rent.”
Rachel glanced at him.
“That was bad,” he said.
“It was accurate.”
A dog escaped its owner near the walking path and raced across the field. The boys stopped playing to help catch it. Leo crouched and waited until the animal approached. Caleb ran after it, shouting instructions it did not understand.
Adrian almost called Caleb back. Rachel noticed the breath he drew.
“You can let them solve one problem,” she said.
“He’s near the road.”
“The dog is moving toward the fence.”
Adrian watched until Leo caught the collar.
“You’re controlling,” Rachel said.
“I’m a lieutenant colonel.”
“That is not a medical excuse.”
He looked at her. “You’re still funny.”
“Don’t.”
“I wasn’t trying to—”
“Don’t make this nostalgic. It isn’t safe.”
Adrian turned back toward the field.
The boys returned with grass on their knees. Caleb announced that Leo should sleep over.
“No,” Rachel and Adrian said together.
Caleb looked offended. “You agree on everything bad.”
Leo sat across from Adrian. “Did you bring the papers?”
Adrian had brought copies of photographs and old letters, sealed in a folder in the car.
“Yes.”
Rachel stiffened. “What papers?”
“He asked me through Caleb.”
“Caleb is not a courier.”
“I told him that.”
Leo looked between them. “I just want to see.”
Adrian retrieved the folder.
The first photograph showed Rachel at twenty-six, sitting on the hood of Adrian’s old Jeep and holding a paper cup. Another showed her asleep beneath a blue blanket in his apartment. He skipped that one.
The third showed Adrian and Rachel beside a lake. Her pregnancy was not visible yet, but one of Adrian’s hands rested protectively against her lower back.
Leo touched the plastic sleeve.
“You had longer hair,” he told Adrian.
“I had worse judgment.”
“About hair?”
“Among other things.”
The letters were copies from Adrian’s sent-email folder and scans of handwritten pages he had kept before mailing the originals. The earliest spoke awkwardly about baby names, apartments, and the fear of missing the birth. The later ones became urgent.
Leo read slowly.
Rachel did not touch the pages.
“You said you were sorry,” Leo said.
“I was.”
“For leaving?”
“For the way I left. Your mom and I had argued.”
“What about?”
Rachel answered. “He wanted me to move into his apartment. I thought he was trying to control me.”
“I was trying to control the situation,” Adrian said.
“Same thing.”
“At the time, yes.”
Leo turned another page. “This says you loved us.”
Adrian looked at Rachel before answering.
“I did.”
“Did you stop?”
The park seemed to quiet around them, though children were shouting near the swings and the dog had begun barking again.
Adrian chose the least complete truth.
“I tried to.”
Rachel rose from the table. “The visit is over.”
Leo looked up. “Why?”
“Because it’s getting cold.”
“It was cold before.”
“We have things to do.”
Adrian began gathering the papers.
Leo placed his hand over the letter. “Can I keep this one?”
Rachel’s face tightened.
“It belongs to you,” Adrian said.
“No,” Rachel replied. “It belongs to him.”
She meant Adrian.
Leo removed his hand.
Adrian slid the letter from the sleeve and held it out. “I wrote it to your mother about you. You can keep it if she agrees.”
Rachel stared at the folded page.
May you like
Finally she nodded.
On the drive home, Caleb complained that the visit had ended early. Adrian listened without correcting him. At a stoplight, his phone displayed an email from his attorney.
