Chương 7
“Your father isn’t part of my command.”
“He knows people.”
“He does.”
“So?”
“So my conduct will be reviewed by people who are responsible for reviewing it.”
“That means yes.”
“It means I don’t know yet.”
Toby stared at her. “You always say you don’t know when you do know.”
“Sometimes.”
“Why?”
“Because people ask questions before they’re ready for the answer.”
“Am I ready?”
“I don’t know.”
He looked irritated, which relieved her more than it should have.
“What happened after they took you out?” he asked.
“I gave a statement.”
“Did you say Mr. Vance grabbed you?”
“I described what happened.”
“Did you say Dad told him to?”
Evelyn kept her face still.
“Did your father tell him to?”
Toby’s eyes moved toward Naomi.
Naomi said, “You don’t have to answer.”
He turned back to Evelyn. “I heard them in the hallway before court. Dad said, ‘Make her show them.’ Mr. Vance said, ‘She won’t do anything with a deputy outside.’ Then Dad said you hate people touching your gear.”
A pulse moved beneath Evelyn’s jaw.
“Why didn’t you tell the judge?”
Toby’s grip tightened on the cup.
The question had escaped before she could stop it.
Naomi leaned forward. “Commander.”
“You’re not supposed to ask me things,” Toby said.
“You’re right.”
“You always ask anyway.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged.
The gesture belonged to Richard. It dismissed the subject while recording the offense.
Evelyn sat back.
Toby looked at her hands. “Did you hurt him?”
“No.”
“He looked hurt.”
“He was shocked and embarrassed.”
“He lies a lot.”
“Most people do, under the right pressure.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
Evelyn glanced at Naomi, who offered no rescue.
“When I told Captain Delaney my hearing was only a family matter.”
“Why was that a lie?”
“Because I left out the part that could affect my work.”
Toby absorbed this.
“Did you lie on the papers about Dad?”
“No.”
“You said he hurts me.”
“I said I believe you may be unsafe at home.”
“That’s not the same thing.”
“No.”
His eyes reddened.
“I fell into the dresser.”
“All right.”
“You don’t believe me.”
“I believe that’s what you want to say.”
“See? That’s what you do. You make everything sound like an officer.”
Evelyn felt Naomi watching her.
She lowered her voice. “Then tell me how to say it.”
Toby’s chin tightened.
“You say, ‘Okay, Toby.’”
“Okay, Toby.”
He looked down.
His sleeve had ridden up slightly. The bruise was clearer in daylight, shaped like four separate shadows.
Evelyn forced herself not to look at it.
Toby noticed her effort.
“It wasn’t even that bad,” he said.
Naomi became still.
Evelyn’s heartbeat struck once against her throat.
Toby heard his own words. Panic crossed his face.
“I mean the dresser.”
Evelyn said nothing.
“Say something.”
“I’m here.”
“That’s not something.”
“It’s what I have.”
He pushed the hot chocolate away. A little spilled over the rim and spread across Naomi’s desk.
Naomi reached for tissues.
Toby stood. “I want to go back.”
Naomi said, “Sit down, please.”
“My dad said if I don’t come home today, they put kids in group homes.”
“You’re in a licensed family placement,” Naomi said. “No one has proposed a group home.”
“He said Evelyn can’t take me because she leaves all the time. He said the Navy owns her.”
Evelyn swallowed.
Toby looked at her. “Is that true?”
“No.”
“You go when they tell you.”
“Yes.”
“So he’s right.”
“About that part.”
“Would you leave if I lived with you?”
“I might be ordered away.”
His face closed.
“I have a care plan,” Evelyn said. “People you know. Chief Bell and Lorna.”
“That’s being left with strangers.”
“You’ve met them.”
“Twice.”
Naomi placed the tissues over the spilled chocolate.
Toby spoke more quietly. “Mom says I’ll ruin everything if I make people choose.”
Evelyn looked at him.
“Did she say that?”
He turned toward the window.
Naomi said, “Toby, you don’t have to protect anyone here.”
“That’s what people say when they want you to get someone in trouble.”
No one answered.
Outside, a landscaping crew started a leaf blower. The machine whined against the glass, absurdly loud and ordinary.
Toby sat again.
He watched the brown liquid soak through the tissues.
“I don’t want Dad arrested.”
Evelyn’s fingers curled against her knees.
“I don’t want Mom to be alone.”
Naomi moved her chair closer, but not too close.
Toby’s voice became flat. “I don’t want to live somewhere people ask me questions every day. I don’t want Evelyn to lose her job. I don’t want Dad to say I’m weak. I don’t want Mom to cry in the bathroom. I don’t want—”
His breath caught.
Evelyn leaned forward, then stopped herself.
Toby pressed both hands over his face.
Naomi waited.
The leaf blower outside shut off.
In the sudden quiet, Toby said, “He makes me stand in the garage.”
Evelyn did not move.
“How long?” Naomi asked.
Toby shook his head.
“What happens in the garage?”
“He says I have to learn not to quit.”
Naomi’s voice stayed gentle. “What does he make you do?”
“Hold things.”
“What things?”
“Whatever’s there.”
Evelyn pictured the detached garage Richard had refused to open for the assessor.
Toby rubbed his forearm.
“Sometimes a bucket. Sometimes weights. He says pain is information.”
The phrase sounded like Richard.
“What happens if you put them down?” Naomi asked.
“He starts the time over.”
“And the bruise?”
Toby’s breathing changed.
Evelyn stared at the desk.
“He grabbed me because I dropped it.”
“Did he hit you?”
“No.”
“Has he ever hit you?”
“No. Not like punching.”
“What does that mean?”
Toby began crying then, silently and angrily, wiping his face with the heel of his hand.
“He says hitting is what stupid men do.”
Naomi waited.
“He uses the wall. Or the floor. Or he holds you where it doesn’t show.”
Evelyn’s chair scraped backward.
Toby flinched.
She froze.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“You’re mad.”
“Yes.”
May you like
“At me?”
“No.”
