Chương 8
It was true.
Vanessa had attended his school concerts.
She knew he hated mushrooms.
She carried ginger candy because he became carsick on winding roads.
After Rachel died, she never forced him to discuss his mother. She was the only adult who once told a guest to stop asking Ethan whether he was “being strong for Dad.”
Some of her kindness had been real.
That did not make the rest unreal.
Ethan understood suddenly why adults lied to themselves.
Two opposite things were exhausting to hold.
Vanessa called at eleven sixteen.
Daniel answered.
He put the phone on speaker only after telling her Henry and Ethan were present.
Vanessa did not object.
Her voice sounded rough.
“Did you listen?”
“Yes.”
“All of it?”
“Yes.”
She was quiet.
Daniel said, “You deleted Rachel’s voicemail.”
“Yes.”
“You intercepted messages.”
“I filtered things.”
“Don’t.”
Vanessa stopped.
Daniel gripped the edge of his desk.
“Just once, don’t improve the word.”
Another silence.
“I intercepted messages.”
“Why?”
“You heard why.”
“I heard what you told Rachel.”
“It’s still true.”
Daniel’s face hardened.
“You decided my marriage was harming me, so you managed it.”
“I watched you disappear.”
“That was mine to deal with.”
“You weren’t dealing with it.”
“So you became my wife?”
Vanessa inhaled.
“That didn’t happen because of a forwarding rule.”
“No.”
“I did love you.”
“Past tense?”
“I don’t know what tense you want right now.”
For the first time that day, she sounded like a person instead of a defendant.
Daniel sat down.
“Did you marry me because of Ethan’s inheritance?”
“No.”
“Did you ask Cooper to give you financial authority?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because you asked me to take more responsibility once we were married.”
“I asked you to help.”
“You always ask people to help and then act shocked when help requires authority.”
Henry looked at Daniel but said nothing.
Vanessa continued.
“I did not steal from Ethan. I did not plan to steal from Ethan. Rachel believed the ugliest possible version of me because she knew I was in love with you.”
Daniel flinched.
Ethan watched him.
“So you were?” Daniel asked.
“Before she died? Yes.”
Laura looked away.
Vanessa’s voice cracked slightly.
“I never slept with you. I never kissed you. I never told you.”
“You told Rachel?”
“She figured it out.”
“When?”
“April.”
Daniel closed his eyes.
“Before the recordings ended.”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t she say that?”
“She did.”
“Not on these.”
“There were more conversations than three recordings, Daniel.”
Ethan looked at Henry.
Henry’s expression changed too.
Vanessa heard the silence.
“That USB doesn’t contain everything.”
Ethan’s stomach tightened.
“What does that mean?” Daniel asked.
“It means Rachel and I talked. Sometimes like enemies. Sometimes not.”
“About what?”
“About you.”
Daniel laughed bitterly.
“Fantastic.”
“She asked me to promise something.”
Laura leaned toward the phone.
“What?”
Vanessa recognized her voice.
“Laura.”
“What did Rachel ask you to promise?”
Vanessa did not answer.
Daniel said, “Vanessa.”
“She asked me to make sure you didn’t turn Ethan into your grief project.”
Daniel stared at the phone.
Ethan did not understand.
Vanessa continued.
“She thought you would try to fix him because you couldn’t fix her.”
Daniel’s face went still.
“She asked me to make sure he had normal things. School. Friends. Sleepovers. Someone who didn’t look at him like tragedy had happened every time he entered a room.”
Ethan remembered Vanessa taking him to buy soccer cleats three months after the funeral.
Daniel had wanted to come.
Ethan had said no.
Vanessa had not asked why.
She had bought him a hamburger afterward and complained about parking.
He had liked her that day.
The memory embarrassed him.
Laura asked, “Why would Rachel ask you?”
“Because people are complicated, Laura.”
“You hit me last night.”
“Yes.”
“At Rachel’s son’s wedding table.”
“Daniel’s wedding table.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do.”
Vanessa’s voice softened.
“And I’m sorry I hit you.”
Laura looked as though the apology annoyed her more than the slap.
Daniel said, “Why did Rachel tell Henry to keep you away from Ethan’s affairs if she trusted you with him?”
“She didn’t trust me with his affairs. She trusted me to occasionally tell you to stop staring at him.”
That sounded enough like Rachel that Ethan almost smiled.
Daniel did not.
“Is there anything else?”
Vanessa paused.
“Yes.”
Henry sat straighter.
Vanessa said, “Rachel sent you a letter about two weeks before she died.”
Daniel looked toward the papers.
“I never received one.”
“I know.”
The room changed.
Ethan heard the refrigerator compressor start in the kitchen.
Daniel spoke carefully.
“What did you do?”
Vanessa was silent so long Ethan checked the phone screen to see whether the call had dropped.
“I found it in the outgoing mail.”
“You found it.”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“I took it.”
Daniel stood.
Henry said, “Daniel.”
He ignored him.
“What did you do with it?”
“I kept it.”
“Where?”
“My apartment.”
“Why?”
Vanessa began speaking faster.
“Because she was asking you to come home permanently. She was asking you to leave the company during a financing crisis. You were three days from closing. You told me if the deal failed you’d have to cut a third of the staff.”
“You stole a letter from my dying wife.”
“I told myself I’d give it to you after the closing.”
“Did you?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.”
Another pause.
“When the closing was done, she was worse.”
Daniel’s hand shook.
“And?”
“And I knew if I gave it to you, you would know I’d kept it.”
“So you protected yourself.”
“Yes.”
There it was.
No excuse.
No improved word.
Vanessa began crying quietly.
“I protected myself.”
Daniel looked toward Ethan.
Ethan looked away.
“Send Henry the letter,” Daniel said.
“I will.”
“Today.”
“Yes.”
“Do not contact Ethan.”
Vanessa stopped crying.
“Daniel.”
“Not until he asks.”
“You cannot—”
“I can ask you to leave my son alone.”
May you like
“He isn’t only yours emotionally just because he is legally yours.”
Ethan stared at the phone.
