Chương 4
“Yes.”
Claire took over.
Eleanor called Susan two days after Daniel’s birth.
Susan called Claire.
Claire and Tom had been trying to have a child for five years.
There had been miscarriages.
Three, Daniel learned.
He had known about one.
That discovery landed strangely beside the others.
Claire’s voice thinned.
“When Susan called, she said Eleanor was in trouble. She said the baby was in trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?”
Eleanor answered.
“Mark wanted money.”
“For me?”
“For everything. Rent. Drugs. Whatever he could get.”
Daniel looked at her.
“And Michael?”
“Gone.”
“Your parents?”
“My father was dead. My mother was in Arizona with a man whose last name I never learned.”
“So Claire and Dad just took me?”
“No,” Claire said quickly.
Daniel looked at her.
“No?”
“No. It wasn’t like that.”
“What was it like?”
Claire rubbed her thumb over a seam in her sweater.
“You were placed with us temporarily.”
“By whom?”
“A social worker.”
“Through the state?”
Claire hesitated.
Daniel noticed.
“Through the state?”
“Not exactly.”
Rachel shifted in her chair.
There it was.
The part underneath the part.
Daniel leaned forward.
“What does ‘not exactly’ mean?”
Claire’s answer took too long.
Eleanor gave it instead.
“It means there was paperwork, but some of it wasn’t legal.”
The room went silent.
Daniel felt the first clean edge of fear.
Not emotional fear.
Practical fear.
Documents. Names. Signatures. Government records.
His whole adult life rested on documents.
Driver’s license. Passport. Social Security number. Mortgage. Marriage license.
“What was changed?”
Claire’s eyes filled again.
“Your original birth record named Eleanor as your mother.”
“And Michael?”
“No father was listed.”
“Then?”
“Later, Tom and I were listed as your parents.”
“Through adoption?”
Claire looked down.
Daniel’s pulse climbed.
“Through adoption?”
“No.”
Rachel whispered, “Jesus.”
Daniel stood.
“Then what?”
Claire said, “There was supposed to be an adoption.”
“Supposed to be?”
“Eleanor signed papers.”
Eleanor shook her head.
“I signed temporary guardianship papers.”
Claire’s face hardened.
“You signed more than that.”
“I was high.”
“You knew what they were.”
“I knew what you told me they were.”
The old conflict arrived so suddenly that Daniel understood it had never ended.
It had merely been waiting.
Claire stood.
“You left him with us for eleven months.”
“I was in treatment.”
“You disappeared.”
“I was in treatment.”
“We had no idea where you were.”
“Susan knew.”
“Susan lied for you.”
“She was trying to keep Mark away from him.”
Claire’s voice rose for the first time.
“And who was keeping him away from you?”
Eleanor flinched.
Daniel stepped between them.
“Stop.”
Both women stopped.
He looked at Claire.
“What happened to the adoption?”
Claire’s shoulders lowered.
“Eleanor came back.”
“When?”
“You were almost one.”
“She wanted me back?”
“Yes.”
Daniel looked at Eleanor.
She nodded.
“I’d been clean seven months.”
Claire said, “Five.”
“Seven.”
“You relapsed in February.”
“For two days.”
“You disappeared with Mark.”
“I went to a motel.”
“With Mark.”
“Yes.”
“And you wanted us to hand you a baby.”
Eleanor’s face tightened.
Daniel saw something then that made the situation harder rather than easier.
Claire had been afraid.
Not just today.
Back then.
She had loved him.
Whatever else she had done, whatever paper she had altered or lie she had maintained, she had been a woman who believed a baby would be endangered if returned.
That did not make the rest acceptable.
But it made it human.
Daniel sat again.
“What did you do?”
Claire stared at the carpet.
“Tom knew someone.”
Daniel waited.
“A lawyer?”
“Yes.”
“Name.”
“Howard Bell.”
Daniel knew the name.
Mr. Bell had handled his parents’ wills.
He had attended Daniel’s high school graduation party.
Daniel remembered an elderly man slipping him fifty dollars and telling him not to spend it all on beer.
His stomach turned.
“What did Bell do?”
Claire said, “He told us there was a way to petition for permanent custody.”
“That isn’t what happened.”
“No.”
“What happened?”
“Eleanor was arrested.”
Eleanor closed her eyes.
Claire continued.
“Possession. She violated probation. She was facing jail.”
“And?”
“Howard said if she contested custody, the state could put you into foster care while everything was decided.”
Eleanor said, “That was the threat.”
Claire looked at her.
“It was a possibility.”
“It was the threat.”
Daniel held up a hand.
“What did you sign?”
Eleanor looked at him.
“A relinquishment.”
“For adoption?”
“I thought so.”
Daniel frowned.
“Then why wasn’t there an adoption?”
“Because there was a problem with Michael.”
Claire said the name reluctantly.
Although Michael had not been listed on the birth certificate, Eleanor had told someone at the hospital his identity. The attorney believed a formal adoption might require additional notice or create a challenge.
Howard Bell proposed another route.
Daniel listened to his mother describe it and felt the floor of his childhood disappear inch by inch.
A delayed birth-record amendment was filed.
Supporting affidavits claimed Claire had given birth under Eleanor’s name because of an insurance confusion and that the hospital record contained an error.
Daniel stared at her.
“That’s insane.”
“Yes.”
“They just believed that?”
“No. Not just that.”
“What else?”
Claire could not answer.
Eleanor did.
“Someone at the county records office was paid.”
Rachel stood and walked into the kitchen.
Daniel heard her open a cabinet.
He understood the impulse.
Sometimes a person needed to perform one ordinary action while reality became ridiculous.
Claire whispered, “Tom handled that.”
Daniel turned on her.
“Don’t.”
“What?”
“Dad is dead. You don’t get to put the worst parts on him because he can’t answer.”
“I’m not.”
“It sounds like you are.”
Claire’s mouth tightened.
“You want the truth? Your father was more frightened than I was. He loved you before I did.”
Daniel recoiled.
Claire saw it.
“No. That came out wrong.”
“How exactly was it supposed to come out?”
“I mean he attached immediately. I was afraid to. I kept thinking someone would take you away.”
“And apparently your solution was making sure they couldn’t.”
May you like
“Yes.”
The answer stopped him.
