Chương 10
Margaret exhaled.
“I am sorry I discussed your relationship with my son in a way that treated you like an obstacle.”
That was better than Claire expected.
Margaret continued.
“I am sorry I encouraged him to delay telling you what he was feeling.”
Claire’s fingers tightened around the paper cup.
“And?”
Margaret looked irritated.
Claire waited.
“And the money.”
“What about it?”
“I should not have assumed your willingness to pay meant the expense was insignificant to you.”
Claire looked at her.
For a moment Margaret seemed genuinely confused by Claire’s silence.
Then she understood.
“No,” she said. “That’s not enough.”
“No.”
Margaret looked toward the window.
Outside, a delivery driver was unloading milk crates.
“My husband left debts.”
Claire frowned.
“Thomas?”
Margaret nodded.
“Not catastrophic debts. Nothing dramatic. But more than I knew. He had refinanced the house twice. There were loans tied to the business. Credit cards.”
Claire had never heard this.
“When?”
“When he died.”
“Ethan knows?”
“Some of it.”
Margaret smoothed the napkin.
“I spent two years making sure nobody knew how bad things were.”
“Why?”
“Because people are cruel.”
Claire almost said, So you became one of them.
She did not.
Margaret continued.
“You know what happens when people think you’ve fallen. They stop inviting you to things. They speak slowly when money comes up. They offer to pay in that little voice.”
Claire watched her.
“I sold jewelry. I sold the lake house quietly. I told people I was tired of maintaining it.”
“You could have told Ethan.”
“I was his mother.”
“That doesn’t answer me.”
“It does to me.”
Claire sat back.
There was something familiar in that.
Not the secrecy.
The conviction that love meant preventing other people from carrying your fear, even if the prevention required dishonesty.
Claire had done her own version.
She had paid.
Margaret said, “When Ethan got engaged to you, I thought…”
She stopped.
Claire waited.
“I thought people would see we were fine.”
The sentence was so pathetic Claire almost did not understand it.
“The wedding.”
Margaret nodded.
“You wanted a status symbol.”
“I wanted something beautiful.”
“With my money.”
“Yes.”
At least she said it.
Margaret touched the jade bracelet on her wrist.
“My mother gave me this when I married Thomas.”
Claire had seen it hundreds of times.
“I nearly sold it.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Vanity.”
A small, humorless smile.
“Or sentiment. I’m never certain which.”
Claire looked at the bracelet.
For once it was simply jewelry.
Not a clue.
Not a symbol.
A thing a woman had kept.
Margaret said, “You made it easy.”
Claire felt heat move up her neck.
Margaret raised a hand.
“That came out wrong.”
“It came out accurate.”
“I don’t mean that you deserved it.”
“Good.”
“I mean you never said no.”
Claire looked at her.
“There was always another upgrade. Another room. Another dinner. I kept expecting you to object.”
“So you would have stopped?”
Margaret hesitated.
“No.”
Claire laughed softly.
“Thank you.”
“But I might have respected you sooner.”
Claire’s smile vanished.
Margaret closed her eyes.
“That was awful.”
“Yes.”
“I’m doing badly.”
“Yes.”
“I’m not used to apologizing.”
“That I believe.”
Margaret almost smiled.
Then her face tightened.
“I loved the idea of you before I knew you.”
Claire frowned.
Margaret looked at her directly.
“Stable. Educated. Money. Good family. No chaos. You seemed like the kind of woman who could make Ethan’s life orderly.”
Claire’s stomach turned.
“I’m not a household appliance.”
“I know that now.”
“Do you?”
Margaret’s eyes filled, but she did not cry.
“I thought if he married someone steady, he would become steady.”
Claire looked out the window.
She suddenly understood why the conversation hurt in a different place.
Margaret had not only used her money.
She had assigned Claire a job.
Fix Ethan.
Absorb Ethan.
Stabilize Ethan.
And Claire, without hearing the job description, had accepted it.
“I need to go,” Claire said.
Margaret’s face fell.
“I haven’t finished.”
“I have.”
Claire stood.
Margaret reached for her wrist, then stopped before touching her.
“Claire.”
She waited.
Margaret swallowed.
“The gift comment was unforgivable.”
“Yes.”
“I thought if the wedding happened, at least something would come from all the money.”
Claire stared at her.
Margaret looked ashamed.
Not devastated.
Not transformed.
Ashamed.
Claire found that more believable.
“I’m sorry,” Margaret said.
Claire nodded.
“I believe you.”
Margaret looked hopeful.
Claire picked up her bag.
“That doesn’t fix it.”
The hope disappeared.
“I know.”
Claire left.
Outside, she stood beside her car and shook for several seconds.
Then she called Ethan.
He answered on the first ring.
“Are you okay?”
“Did you know about your father’s debts?”
Silence.
“Some.”
“Did you know your mother used the wedding to prove she was still financially okay?”
Another silence.
“I knew appearances matter to her.”
“That isn’t what I asked.”
“No. I didn’t know that.”
Claire leaned against the car.
“She told me.”
“Why did you meet her?”
“Because she asked.”
“Claire.”
“What?”
“You don’t have to keep taking care of people.”
The sentence irritated her because it was true.
“I wasn’t taking care of her.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Agree in a way that means the opposite.”
“I’m trying not to argue with you.”
“That’s new.”
“Yeah.”
They were both quiet.
Ethan said, “I started therapy.”
Claire closed her eyes.
“Please don’t tell me that like it’s a plot development.”
He laughed.
A real laugh.
“Fair.”
“I’m glad.”
“Mark found the therapist.”
“Of course he did.”
“He sent me a spreadsheet.”
Claire laughed despite herself.
Then Ethan said, “I’m not telling you because I think it’ll bring you back.”
“Good.”
“I’m telling you because you spent years asking me to deal with my anger and I kept saying I could handle it.”
Claire looked at traffic moving beyond the parking lot.
“You couldn’t.”
“No.”
“Neither could I.”
He went quiet.
Claire continued.
“I kept handling it for you.”
“I know.”
“No. I think I just learned it.”
May you like
Ethan breathed out.
“So did I.”
