Chương 10
He had not turned on the lights.
“You missed bedtime.”
He looked toward her.
“I know.”
“She waited.”
His face tightened.
“I lost track.”
“That happens.”
“She asked me to read the dinosaur book.”
“You bought six.”
“I know which one.”
“Good.”
Richard looked at Maribel’s statement again.
“Vanessa knew for months.”
Elena did not answer.
“She slept beside me.”
“Yes.”
“We went to dinner. We went to Palm Beach. We hosted people in this house.”
“Yes.”
“She knew my daughter existed.”
“Yes.”
Richard looked angry at Elena.
“Can you say something else?”
“What would you like?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then yes is efficient.”
He dropped the statement on the desk.
“I keep trying to find the version where I could have prevented this.”
Elena sat.
“Why?”
“Because then I can do something with it.”
“No. Then you can punish yourself with it.”
Richard rubbed his face.
“She was here for three weeks.”
“Lily?”
“Yes.”
“And I barely spoke to her.”
“You were traveling.”
“I came home twice.”
“You didn’t know.”
“She looked familiar.”
Elena waited.
Richard stared toward the dark window.
“The first time I saw her, I thought she looked like Rebecca. I told myself I was imagining it.”
“Why?”
“Because dead relationships make people stupid.”
Elena smiled faintly.
“That’s almost wise.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know.”
He stood.
“I should go upstairs.”
“Yes.”
At the door he paused.
“Elena.”
“What?”
“Do you think Claire is going to take Lily back?”
There it was.
The question he had not asked.
Elena folded her hands.
“She’s Lily’s guardian.”
“I’m her father.”
“You are.”
“I have rights.”
“You probably do.”
His eyes narrowed.
“Probably?”
“I’m a housekeeper, Richard.”
He leaned against the doorframe.
“I’m asking what you think.”
“I think if you make this about winning, Claire will fight you until both of you are old.”
Richard looked down.
“And if I don’t?”
“Then maybe ask what Lily needs before deciding what you’re entitled to.”
He nodded.
The next afternoon, Richard asked Claire to meet him in the garden.
Claire came on one crutch.
Lily watched from an upstairs window with Elena.
“What are they talking about?”
“Probably you.”
“That’s rude.”
Elena looked at her.
Lily shrugged.
“They could ask me.”
Down in the garden, Richard and Claire sat on opposite ends of a stone bench.
They spoke for almost an hour.
Neither raised a voice.
At one point Claire cried.
At another, Richard stood and walked away.
Then he came back.
When they returned to the house, both looked exhausted.
Lily met them in the foyer.
“Are you fighting?”
Claire said, “A little.”
Richard said, “Not exactly.”
Lily crossed her arms.
“That means yes.”
Claire sighed.
“We’re trying to figure out where you should live.”
Lily’s face changed.
Richard immediately knelt.
“No one is making a decision today.”
“Am I going back with Aunt Claire?”
Claire looked at Richard.
Richard looked at Claire.
Lily became angry.
“You keep looking at each other.”
Claire lowered herself carefully onto the bench.
“Okay. You’re right.”
Lily stood between them.
Claire said, “I’m your legal guardian right now.”
“And Richard’s my dad.”
“Yes.”
Richard said, “And I want to be part of your life.”
“Do I live here?”
“I would like you to.”
Claire looked at him.
He added, “Eventually. If you want that. If we can work it out.”
Lily looked at Claire.
“Do you want me to?”
Claire’s eyes filled.
“I want you to be safe.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Claire laughed through tears.
“You really are your mother’s kid.”
Lily waited.
Claire reached for her hand.
“I have taken care of you since your mom died. Before that, I helped your mom take care of you. I don’t know how to wake up and not be responsible for you.”
“You can still be.”
“I know.”
“But?”
Claire glanced at Richard.
“But he missed six years.”
Richard looked away.
Claire continued.
“And if he’s going to be your father, he needs a chance to do that.”
Lily frowned.
“I don’t want to choose.”
Richard answered immediately.
“You don’t have to.”
Claire nodded.
“That’s the one thing we agree on.”
So they did not make her choose.
They created a temporary schedule with lawyers and a family counselor involved, not because anyone believed a schedule could fix six years, but because chaos had already done enough.
Lily spent weekdays with Claire once Claire could manage stairs again.
She stayed with Richard on weekends.
At first, Richard treated every weekend like a corporate retreat.
He made plans.
Museum tickets.
Zoo reservations.
A children’s theater performance.
A private riding lesson.
Lily rejected half of them.
One Saturday she announced she wanted to stay home.
“What do you want to do?” Richard asked.
“Nothing.”
He looked alarmed.
“Nothing?”
“Yes.”
“For the whole day?”
“Yes.”
“What does that involve?”
Lily stared at him.
“Nothing.”
They spent the morning in pajamas.
Richard answered emails at the kitchen table while Lily colored beside him.
At eleven, she asked whether he knew how to braid hair.
He did not.
She handed him a brush anyway.
The result was terrible.
Elena found them twenty minutes later.
Lily’s hair looked like a failed rope project.
Richard looked offended by physics.
Elena laughed so hard she had to sit down.
Lily laughed too.
Richard did not.
“This is harder than it appears.”
“It appears hard,” Elena said.
“No, it doesn’t.”
“That’s because women do it while talking, which has fooled you.”
Lily pulled the braid out.
“Try again.”
Richard stared at the brush.
Then at her.
“Okay.”
By October, he could make one acceptable braid.
By November, Lily sometimes called him Dad by accident.
Each time, Richard pretended not to notice.
The first deliberate time happened because he disappointed her.
Richard had promised to attend a school art night.
A financing crisis broke at one of his companies that afternoon.
At five thirty, he texted Claire that he might be late.
May you like
At six ten, he was still in Manhattan.
At six forty, Lily stood beside a painting of a purple dog while parents moved around the school gym carrying paper cups of cider.
