Chương 12
“She’ll think that anyway.”
“Then we work very hard to make sure she hears otherwise.”
Leah sat back down.
For several minutes no one spoke.
Finally Leah said, “I want to go back sixteen months and answer the phone call she never got to make.”
Dana looked at her.
“I know.”
“I could’ve stopped this.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I could’ve tried harder.”
“Yes.”
The word hurt.
Leah nodded.
“Thank you.”
Dana looked surprised.
“For not saying I couldn’t have known.”
“You couldn’t have known about the screws.”
“I knew he isolated her.”
“Yes.”
“I knew he scared Allison sometimes.”
Dana did not interrupt.
“I told myself it wasn’t my family.”
“It was.”
Leah wiped her face.
“I hate you.”
“I know.”
Maya learned about the possibility of testimony from Tasha and Angela together.
They met in a quiet room at the advocacy center.
Angela explained that Maya could say she did not remember something if she did not remember. She could ask for a question to be repeated. She could correct adults.
“Even the judge?” Maya asked.
“Yes.”
“What if the judge gets mad?”
“The judge should not get mad at you for correcting something.”
“Dad says judges hate being corrected.”
Angela almost asked how many judges Grant knew.
She decided against it.
“You are allowed to tell the truth as you remember it.”
“What if Dad looks at me?”
“We can ask for arrangements that make the room easier, but I can’t promise exactly what the judge will decide.”
“Will he be mad?”
“Your dad?”
Maya nodded.
Angela took a breath.
“He may have feelings about what you say.”
“That means yes.”
“It might.”
Maya looked at Tasha.
“Do I have to?”
“No,” Tasha said.
Angela added, “There can be consequences for the case if you don’t, but those consequences are not your fault.”
“What consequences?”
“We may not be able to prove every charge.”
“Then he could go home?”
“He is not currently allowed to live with you.”
“That wasn’t my question.”
Angela leaned forward.
“He could have fewer criminal consequences. I don’t know exactly what would happen.”
Maya picked at a loose thread on her sleeve.
“Everybody keeps saying it’s not my job and then telling me things happen if I don’t do it.”
Nobody answered immediately.
Because she was right.
Finally Tasha said, “Adults are bad at giving children choices when the choices aren’t fair.”
Maya looked at her.
“So it is my choice?”
“Yes.”
“Can I change my mind?”
“Yes.”
“Even that day?”
Angela said, “Yes.”
“What if you get mad?”
“I might be disappointed about the case. I will not be mad at you.”
“What if Aunt Leah gets mad?”
Tasha said, “You can ask her.”
Maya did.
That night, Leah burned grilled cheese while trying to answer.
“I don’t want you to testify.”
Maya looked at the black edge of her sandwich.
“Okay.”
“But I don’t want to tell you that you can’t.”
“Why?”
“Because your voice is yours.”
Maya stared at her.
“That sounds like therapy.”
“It absolutely is.”
“Gross.”
“I agree.”
“Do you want Dad to go to jail?”
Leah turned off the stove.
“I want you safe.”
“Different question.”
Leah sighed.
“Yes.”
Maya’s eyes dropped.
Leah immediately hated herself.
She pulled out the chair across from her.
“I also want him to get help. I also want him to understand what he did. I also sometimes want him to disappear forever. I also remember him carrying you around the zoo when you were four because you refused to walk. I also remember him making your mom laugh so hard she snorted soda. I don’t have one feeling.”
Maya said nothing.
Leah touched the burned sandwich.
“And apparently I can’t make grilled cheese while emotionally complex.”
Maya looked at the sandwich.
“You murdered it.”
“Correct.”
They ordered pizza.
A week before trial, Grant requested another plea discussion.
His attorney had spent months working on him.
Not toward remorse.
Toward reality.
Grant finally agreed to plead guilty to charges that required him to admit he intentionally altered the boot in a way that caused Maya pain and created risk of injury.
He refused language saying he intended serious physical harm.
The prosecutor refused to remove intentional conduct entirely.
Negotiations stalled.
Then Angela did something Grant had not expected.
She said the state was prepared to go to trial even if Maya ultimately could not testify.
The case would be harder.
Not impossible.
They had the clinic records.
The physical evidence.
The forensic interview, portions of which might be admissible depending on court rulings.
His coworkers.
His hospital behavior.
The drawing.
The boot fabric.
The replacement strap.
His own inconsistent statements.
Grant asked for five minutes alone with his attorney.
When Angela left, he said, “She’s bluffing.”
His attorney closed his eyes.
“Maybe.”
“You think they can win without Maya?”
“I think they can hurt you badly without Maya.”
Grant looked at the table.
“If she testifies, she’ll hate me.”
His attorney said nothing.
“She already hates me.”
Still nothing.
Grant’s voice became rough.
“Allison would’ve stopped this.”
“What?”
“She’d have stopped everybody from turning Maya against me.”
His attorney leaned back.
“Grant.”
“What?”
“Your wife is not available to solve this.”
Grant stood.
“Go to hell.”
The attorney remained seated.
“You’ve spent a year making dead people and children responsible for choices you made.”
Grant’s face reddened.
“You’re my lawyer.”
“Yes.”
“You work for me.”
“Yes.”
“Then act like it.”
“I am.”
Grant paced to the window.
His attorney waited.
A long time passed.
Grant said, “She told them I tested it.”
The attorney’s stomach tightened.
He did not ask how Grant knew the detail. Discovery materials had included summaries.
“Yes.”
“I did.”
The attorney remained silent.
“I put my hand in first.”
Silence.
“It didn’t feel that sharp.”
Silence.
“I wasn’t trying to—”
Grant stopped.
His attorney said, “Do not finish that sentence unless you intend to tell me the truth.”
May you like
Grant turned.
For the first time, the anger did not arrive.
