Chương 14
“I was drinking.”
“Yes.”
“I thought if I could control the contact, I could keep it from becoming another problem.”
“For who?”
“For us.”
“There wasn’t an us in those messages. There was you deciding.”
He looked at her.
“I was scared you’d leave me.”
Emma felt something almost gentle then.
Not forgiveness.
Recognition.
He had been afraid.
He had behaved terribly inside the fear.
Both could be true.
“So you hid things that would make me leave if I found out.”
“When you say it like that—”
“How else should I say it?”
Daniel looked down.
“Did she tell you about the money?”
“I saw your messages.”
He nodded.
“All of them?”
“I think so.”
“Then you know I didn’t start out trying to hide anything bad.”
“No. You started out trying to be the good guy.”
He flinched.
Emma knew she had hit something real.
Daniel had always needed to be the person who helped.
Until helping became inconvenient.
Then the recipient became ungrateful.
“Is she going to see him?” he asked.
“Eventually, maybe.”
“I don’t agree.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I’m his father.”
“And I’m his mother. We can deal with disagreement through lawyers, therapists, and the parenting plan. Not secret messages.”
Daniel looked toward the upstairs window.
“What did he say about me?”
Emma crossed her arms.
“He asked why you don’t come.”
Daniel’s face collapsed slightly.
“I’ve tried.”
“No. You’ve tried to see him on your terms.”
“I’m sober.”
“For how long?”
“Twenty-six days.”
“That matters.”
He looked surprised.
Emma continued.
“It does. It doesn’t erase the last two years.”
“I know.”
“Good.”
He laughed bitterly.
“Everybody loves that word this week.”
Emma almost smiled.
“Apparently.”
The front door opened.
Noah stood there.
Lauren was behind him, looking horrified.
“I told him to stay upstairs,” she said.
Noah ignored her.
“Dad?”
Daniel went completely still.
Emma turned.
Noah stepped onto the porch.
Daniel did not move toward him.
For that, Emma was grateful.
“Hey, buddy.”
Noah stared at him.
“Are you drunk?”
Daniel closed his eyes for half a second.
“No.”
“How do I know?”
Emma’s chest tightened.
Daniel swallowed.
“You don’t.”
Noah waited.
“I’ve been sober twenty-six days.”
“Is that a lot?”
“It’s more than twenty-five.”
Noah frowned.
Daniel gave a small shrug.
“It’s not enough yet.”
Noah looked at Emma.
She did not rescue either of them.
“Did you know Rebecca?”
Daniel nodded.
“Yes.”
“You didn’t tell Mom.”
“No.”
“Why?”
Daniel looked toward Emma.
Then back at Noah.
“Because I was scared and selfish.”
Noah’s eyebrows rose.
Adults almost never used that word about themselves.
Daniel continued.
“I thought I could control something I didn’t have the right to control.”
Noah kicked lightly at the porch step.
“Do you still love me?”
Daniel’s face changed.
“Yes.”
“Then why don’t you come?”
“I’ve been sick.”
Noah frowned.
“You drink.”
“Yes.”
“That’s not sick.”
Daniel looked at Emma.
She said nothing.
He crouched, still several feet away.
“Sometimes drinking can become an illness when a person can’t stop even though it’s hurting them and other people.”
“Can you stop?”
“I’m trying.”
“That means no.”
Daniel breathed out.
“Right now, it means I stopped twenty-six days ago.”
Noah considered this.
Then he asked, “Do you want to see my truck?”
Daniel’s eyes filled.
“Yes.”
Noah turned.
Emma touched his shoulder.
“Five minutes on the porch.”
Noah groaned.
“Mom.”
“Five.”
He ran inside.
Daniel stood.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet.”
Noah returned carrying the monster truck.
The repaired wheel was slightly crooked.
“Grandpa broke it.”
Robert’s voice came from the walkway.
“I continue to reject that allegation.”
Everyone turned.
Robert stood holding a hardware-store bag.
He looked at Daniel.
The warmth left his face.
Daniel straightened.
“Robert.”
“Daniel.”
Noah pushed the truck onto the porch.
It immediately veered left and hit Daniel’s shoe.
“See?” Noah said. “Grandpa.”
Robert looked at the wheel.
“Circumstantial.”
For five minutes, the three generations of Carter men discussed a toy truck.
Nobody mentioned adoption.
Nobody mentioned alcohol.
Nobody mentioned the trust.
Then Emma said time was up.
Noah protested.
Daniel did not.
That mattered too.
“I’ll message about the next visit,” he told Noah.
“Do it.”
“I will.”
“And come.”
Daniel swallowed.
“I’ll do everything I can.”
Noah shook his head.
“Just come.”
Daniel nodded.
“Okay.”
After he left, Robert carried the truck into the garage and repaired the wheel properly.
Lauren stood beside Emma in the kitchen.
“You handled that better than I would have.”
Emma gave her a look.
“This from the birthday-photo specialist?”
“Exactly. Low bar.”
Emma laughed.
Lauren bumped her shoulder lightly.
“Did you mean what you said to him?”
“Which part?”
“That twenty-six days matters.”
“Yes.”
“Do you want him back?”
Emma looked through the window at the driveway where Daniel’s car had disappeared.
“No.”
The answer came without effort.
Lauren waited.
Emma touched her wedding ring.
“I want him to get better.”
“That’s different.”
“Yes.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Yes.”
Lauren nodded.
They stood together quietly.
Then Helen entered carrying laundry.
“If either of you is planning another family breakthrough, fold towels while you do it.”
Lauren took the basket.
“Yes, Mom.”
Emma took one too.
For several minutes, they folded.
It was strangely calming.
In October, Noah spoke to Rebecca for the first time.
Marisol sat in her office with him and Emma.
Rebecca appeared on the screen.
Noah had prepared fourteen questions.
He abandoned the list immediately.
“Why did you call me Eli?”
Rebecca smiled.
“Because that was my grandfather’s name.”
“Was he cool?”
Emma covered her mouth.
Rebecca laughed.
“He owned a motorcycle.”
Noah’s eyes widened.
“Yes.”
Emma said, “That does not automatically mean cool.”
“It does,” Noah said.
Rebecca continued.
“He also cheated at cards.”
“Cooler.”
“Noah.”
“What?”
Rebecca’s laugh changed into tears so quickly she looked embarrassed.
“Sorry.”
Noah stared.
“Why are you crying?”
Rebecca wiped her face.
“Because I’m happy to see you.”
“You’ve seen pictures.”
“That’s different.”
He accepted this.
May you like
“Do I look like you?”
Rebecca tilted her head.
