Chương 7
Michael stared at the dark laptop screen.
“He’s her father.”
Claire sat on the floor.
Not because she collapsed.
Because the chair was covered in laundry and apparently she did not have the energy to move it.
Michael found this absurdly offensive.
Eight years of marriage had split open and there were three clean towels on the office chair.
He stood, picked them up, folded them, and put them on the shelf.
Claire watched him.
“What are you doing?”
“Laundry.”
“Michael.”
“I know.”
He folded a shirt.
“Stop.”
He looked at the shirt in his hands.
It was Emma’s.
A purple T-shirt with a faded cartoon fox.
He put it down.
Claire whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Michael rubbed his palms over his face.
“Don’t.”
“I don’t know what else to say.”
“Then don’t say anything.”
She nodded.
He laughed without humor.
“And stop doing that too.”
“What?”
“Agreeing.”
Claire’s face tightened.
“So what would you like me to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“You keep telling me what not to do.”
“I don’t know what I want from you.”
Her eyes filled.
Michael pointed at her.
“And that. I know you’re upset. I know you’re scared. But I cannot be the person who manages your feelings about what you did to me.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
“You are when you cry in front of me.”
Claire stared at him.
Then she wiped her face with the sleeve of her robe.
“That’s not fair.”
“No.”
He sat.
“I’m not fair today.”
She nodded, then caught herself and almost laughed.
Michael looked away.
After a moment Claire said, “We have to tell Emma.”
“Yes.”
“And Daniel.”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me there?”
Michael thought about it.
“Yes.”
She looked surprised.
“She needs to see that the adults can sit in one room without making her choose who to protect.”
Claire inhaled slowly.
“Okay.”
He called Daniel.
Daniel answered on the first ring.
Michael said, “It’s positive.”
Silence.
Then a chair scraped loudly through the phone.
Daniel breathed out.
“Okay.”
Michael waited.
Daniel said it again.
“Okay.”
“You all right?”
“I don’t know.”
“Welcome to the club.”
Daniel made a small, broken sound.
Michael realized he was crying.
The realization produced no sympathy at first.
Only anger.
Then something else came after it.
Not forgiveness.
Recognition.
Daniel said, “Can I see her?”
“We’re telling her after school.”
“Can I be there?”
Michael looked toward Claire.
She nodded once.
“Yes.”
Emma came home complaining about a science quiz.
She dropped her backpack, fed Pepper without being asked, and opened the refrigerator.
“Why is Daniel here?”
He stood in the family room.
Claire sat on one end of the couch.
Michael sat on the other.
Emma looked at all three of them.
“Oh.”
She closed the refrigerator.
“No snack?”
Michael asked.
“I know the face.”
“What face?”
“The serious face.”
She came into the room and sat on the floor.
“No one ever says anything good with that face.”
Michael leaned forward.
“The test came back.”
Emma looked at Daniel.
Daniel’s eyes were already wet.
She looked at Michael.
He said, “Daniel is your biological father.”
Emma stared at the rug.
No one spoke.
She picked at a loose thread.
Claire started to say her name.
Michael lifted one finger.
Claire stopped.
Emma said, “Does this mean I have to change my last name?”
Daniel blinked.
“No.”
Michael said, “No.”
“Do I have to move?”
“No,” Michael said.
Daniel said, “Absolutely not.”
Emma looked at him.
“You said that fast.”
“I mean, nobody is asking you to move.”
“Do I have to visit you?”
Daniel glanced at Michael.
Michael did not answer for him.
Daniel rubbed his hands on his jeans.
“I’d like to know you. But I don’t want you forced into anything because of me.”
Emma considered this.
“Do you have kids?”
“No.”
“Why?”
Daniel looked caught off guard.
“I never did.”
“Do you have a wife?”
“No.”
“Girlfriend?”
Claire closed her eyes.
Daniel said, “No.”
“Dog?”
“One.”
“What kind?”
“Golden retriever.”
Emma’s posture changed slightly.
“What’s his name?”
“Walter.”
She frowned.
“That’s a person name.”
“He’s an old soul.”
“How old?”
“Ten.”
“Can I see a picture?”
Daniel pulled out his phone, then hesitated.
“Can I?”
Emma nodded.
He moved to the edge of the coffee table and held out the screen.
A golden retriever lay upside down on a couch with all four legs in the air.
Emma smiled.
“He sleeps like Pepper.”
Daniel scrolled.
Walter wearing a birthday hat.
Walter in snow.
Walter staring into an empty food bowl.
Emma asked, “Does he bite?”
“No.”
“Does he jump?”
“Only when he forgets he’s old.”
Michael watched his daughter learn the first ordinary fact about her biological father.
Not a date.
Not a secret.
Not an engraving.
A dog named Walter.
For the first time since the lodge, the future seemed less like a single catastrophic decision and more like a thousand small ones.
That should have comforted him.
Instead it terrified him.
Daniel visited the following Saturday.
Michael had agreed to two hours.
Claire stayed home but spent most of the visit upstairs.
Emma asked Daniel to bring Walter.
Michael said no dog on the first visit.
Emma accused him of inventing rules.
He admitted he was.
Daniel arrived carrying nothing except a leash without a dog.
Emma looked at it.
“Where is Walter?”
“In the car.”
Michael stared at him.
Daniel held up both hands.
“You said no dog in the house. You did not say no dog within county limits.”
Emma laughed.
Michael looked through the window.
Walter sat in Daniel’s back seat, head poked between the front seats.
“That’s manipulative.”
“Yes.”
“At least you know.”
“I’ve had a stressful month.”
Michael should have been angrier.
Instead he put on his shoes.
They walked Walter around the block.
May you like
Emma held the leash for half the route.
Daniel knew how to speak to her without trying too hard. He did not ask if she felt connected to him. He did not tell her they had the same eyes. He answered questions.
