Chương 4
The hard part was deciding what the truth actually was.
Caroline checked into a hotel downtown rather than going to the apartment she still owned before their marriage. Ethan learned that because her location appeared on the family security account before he removed her access.
He did not tell Lily.
Lily learned anyway.
Children were good at finding information adults discussed near staircases.
Ethan spent most of the night in his study with the door closed.
Maria stayed.
That surprised Lily.
She had expected Maria to go home after giving her statement.
Instead Maria sat at the kitchen table drinking tea she never finished.
Grandmother Eleanor remained in the formal sitting room for nearly an hour before announcing that she was too old for family catastrophes on an empty stomach.
She made herself a turkey sandwich.
Lily sat across from her.
Eleanor cut the sandwich diagonally.
“You’re staring.”
“Why did she do it?”
Eleanor did not answer.
“I asked Dad.”
“What did he say?”
“He said he doesn’t know yet.”
“That’s probably true.”
Lily picked at a loose thread on her dress.
Eleanor slapped her hand lightly.
“Don’t unravel yourself.”
Lily stopped.
“Did Caroline hate me?”
Eleanor’s knife paused.
It was the first question that seemed to frighten her.
She placed the knife down.
“No.”
“You don’t know.”
“No,” Eleanor said. “I don’t.”
Lily looked away.
That answer was worse than a lie and better than one.
The kitchen clock clicked.
Maria sat at the opposite end of the room, giving them privacy without leaving.
Eleanor took one bite of her sandwich.
Then another.
She chewed slowly.
“I didn’t like her when your father married her.”
Lily looked back.
“Why?”
“Because I am difficult.”
Maria made a small noise that might have been a laugh.
Eleanor glanced at her.
“Am I wrong?”
Maria became very interested in her tea.
Lily almost smiled.
Eleanor wiped her fingers.
“But disliking someone is not evidence against them. I learned that lesson late.”
“What lesson?”
“That sometimes a person you dislike is innocent. Sometimes a person you love is guilty. Feelings are terribly poor detectives.”
Lily considered this.
“Dad loved Caroline.”
“Yes.”
“So he might believe her.”
Eleanor’s expression tightened.
“He might believe parts of what she says.”
Lily’s stomach dropped.
“But she did it.”
“I believe you.”
“Then why would Dad—”
“Because believing you does not answer every question.”
Lily hated that.
She hated the whole adult world suddenly, its qualifications and context and careful words.
“She put diamonds in my bed.”
“Yes.”
“She lied.”
“Yes.”
“So she’s bad.”
Eleanor looked at her for a long time.
“People are rarely only one thing, Lily.”
“I am.”
“What are you?”
“Mad.”
That made Eleanor laugh.
A real laugh this time.
“All right. Tonight you may be one thing.”
At 1:17 in the morning, Ethan came into Lily’s room.
She was awake.
He knew before he opened the door because the small reading lamp beside her bed was on.
She had changed into pajamas but still had Caroline’s accusations buzzing in her head.
Ethan sat beside her.
For a while, neither spoke.
He looked older than he had at dinner.
His shirt sleeves were rolled to the elbows. His tie was gone. He had missed a patch of shaving cream near one ear that morning, and Lily had noticed it then but forgotten to tell him.
Now she stared at the pale mark.
“What?” he asked.
“You missed shaving cream.”
He touched his ear.
“Seriously?”
She nodded.
He rubbed it off with his thumb.
“Great. Very dignified.”
Lily smiled despite herself.
Then stopped.
Ethan looked toward the window.
“Maria told me everything she saw.”
“You believe her?”
“Yes.”
“Do you believe me?”
He turned back.
“Yes.”
“You didn’t before.”
The words came out faster than she intended.
Ethan inhaled.
“I didn’t know what happened.”
“You looked at me.”
“I know.”
“You thought maybe.”
He looked down at his hands.
“I thought maybe you moved something without realizing what it was.”
“That means you thought I lied.”
“I thought there might be an explanation.”
“That means you thought I lied.”
He nodded.
A long time passed before he said, “Yes.”
Lily’s eyes burned.
She looked at the wall.
Ethan reached toward her.
She pulled away.
His hand stopped in the air.
He lowered it.
“I’m sorry.”
Lily wiped her face angrily.
“You always say people have to tell the truth.”
“I know.”
“But when I did, you didn’t know if it counted.”
That sentence stayed with Ethan.
Lily saw it happen.
His expression changed the way faces changed when words found the exact place they were trying to avoid.
“No,” he said quietly. “I didn’t.”
She waited.
He did not defend himself.
That helped a little.
Not much.
“Is Caroline coming back?”
“Not tonight.”
“Ever?”
“I don’t know.”
Lily hated that answer too.
“What do you know?”
Ethan leaned forward, forearms on his knees.
“I know she isn’t coming near you until I understand why she did this. I know Maria isn’t losing her job. I know nobody is calling the police on you. I know the insurance company hasn’t been contacted. And I know you did nothing wrong.”
Lily watched him.
“Will you call the police on Caroline?”
Ethan’s mouth tightened.
“I don’t know yet.”
“Why?”
“Because I need to understand exactly what happened first.”
“You always need to understand.”
“Occupational hazard.”
“What’s that?”
“Something annoying adults say when they don’t want to admit a habit is their fault.”
Lily almost smiled again.
He stood.
At the door, he stopped.
“I love you.”
She did not answer.
He waited.
Then left.
The next morning, Caroline’s lawyer called.
Not Caroline.
Her lawyer.
That changed the atmosphere immediately.
Ethan took the call in his study.
Lily ate cereal at the kitchen island while Eleanor read messages on her phone.
May you like
Maria arrived at seven as usual, even though Ethan had told her she could take the day off.
She wore jeans and a blue sweater instead of her uniform.
