Chương 10
That made it hurt.
The crib left the house three weeks later.
Adrian arranged the donation through a family shelter that accepted nursery furniture meeting current safety standards.
Evelyn watched two workers carry it through the front door.
For a moment she saw the room as it had been the first night.
Four babies gripping the rail.
Yellow gloves.
A rabbit spinning overhead.
A grieving man in the doorway.
Then the crib was gone.
The empty space looked enormous.
Lucy ran into the middle of it and immediately sat down.
“Mine,” she announced.
Evelyn laughed.
“Apparently.”
Her classes continued.
Daniel found another job.
Marisol moved in with her boyfriend and left Evelyn the apartment lease.
Life refused to arrange itself around the Cole family.
Evelyn appreciated that.
One May afternoon, Denise invited her to lunch.
“I’m opening a small caregiver training program,” she said.
Evelyn nearly choked.
“You?”
“Try to conceal your surprise.”
“I’m surprised you willingly want more people asking you questions.”
“I enjoy correcting people.”
“That part I believe.”
Denise slid a folder across the table.
“I want you to work with me.”
Evelyn stared at it.
“Doing what?”
“Assistant instructor. Part-time at first.”
“I’ve been doing this less than a year.”
“And?”
“And most instructors usually have more experience than the furniture.”
“You have practical experience with multiples, coursework, CPR, strong references, and an irritating habit of asking why rules exist.”
“That last one doesn’t sound positive.”
“It is in training.”
Evelyn opened the folder.
The pay was much lower than Adrian’s.
The opportunity was not.
She could continue studying.
Eventually obtain formal certification.
Possibly build a career that did not depend on one family.
Her stomach tightened.
“When would I start?”
“September.”
The girls would be almost two.
Preschool applications were already being discussed.
The timing felt like betrayal even though nobody had done anything wrong.
Evelyn carried the folder home for three days before telling Adrian.
She found him in the kitchen cutting strawberries.
Badly.
“You’re removing half the fruit.”
“They’re small.”
“They’re strawberries, not diamonds.”
“Do you want to do it?”
“No.”
He continued cutting.
Evelyn placed Denise’s folder on the counter.
“I got a job offer.”
The knife stopped.
There was the silence she had expected.
Adrian did not look at her.
“When?”
“Three days ago.”
“You waited three days.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I knew you’d make that face.”
He looked up.
“What face?”
“That one.”
He put down the knife.
“What position?”
She explained.
He listened without interrupting.
That made it harder.
“How many hours?”
“At first, twenty-five a week.”
“So you could stay here part-time.”
“Maybe.”
The speed of the response made her cautious.
“Adrian.”
“What?”
“I haven’t decided.”
“You should do both.”
“I said I haven’t decided.”
“I heard you.”
“You’re already solving it.”
He exhaled.
“Yes.”
Evelyn sat at the counter.
He remained standing.
“I love them.”
He looked toward the ceiling as if he could see the girls through it.
“I know.”
“But I need something that is mine.”
His face tightened.
“This job is yours.”
“No.”
She said it gently.
“It belongs to your family. That’s different.”
He looked back at her.
“I could increase your salary.”
“That is exactly the wrong answer.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
He rubbed his forehead.
“I am trying not to react badly.”
“You’re doing medium.”
“That’s encouraging.”
Evelyn smiled despite herself.
Then Adrian became serious.
“When would you leave?”
“September.”
Four months.
The time visibly affected him.
“That soon.”
“They’re starting preschool three mornings a week anyway.”
“Yes.”
“You don’t need me the same way anymore.”
“That is not true.”
“The girls don’t.”
His eyes met hers.
The distinction remained unspoken.
Evelyn looked down.
Boundaries mattered most when people believed they no longer needed them.
Virginia had been right.
Denise had been right.
Evelyn hated when everyone else formed an irritating coalition of wisdom.
“I can’t stay because you’re afraid of change.”
“I know.”
“And I can’t leave just to prove I’m independent.”
“I know that too.”
“Can you stop being reasonable? It’s unsettling.”
He smiled faintly.
“I’m trying something new.”
They negotiated again.
Just as they had in the kitchen after that first night.
Evelyn accepted Denise’s position.
She remained with the Cole family three days a week through the end of the year while Adrian hired another caregiver.
This time, he did not choose alone.
Evelyn interviewed candidates.
So did Virginia.
Margaret handled references.
Denise advised on qualifications.
The first candidate was excellent on paper and spoke about toddlers as though discussing inventory.
Evelyn rejected her.
Adrian agreed.
The second was warm but admitted she disliked working in homes with involved grandparents.
Virginia rejected her.
Adrian secretly agreed.
The third, Naomi Brooks, had six years of childcare experience, laughed easily without performing warmth, and told Adrian during the interview that one of his written nap policies was “developmentally ambitious.”
Evelyn nearly hired her on the spot.
Adrian frowned.
“Which policy?”
“The one requiring consistent sleep onset within a fifteen-minute window.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“They’re children.”
“That isn’t an explanation.”
“No, but it should help.”
Evelyn looked at Margaret.
Margaret looked down to hide a smile.
Naomi got the job.
Transition was messy.
Emma disliked her.
Sophie adored her immediately.
Lucy tested her by throwing food.
Claire ignored her for three days.
Evelyn felt jealous.
The emotion embarrassed her.
When Sophie climbed into Naomi’s lap during story time, Evelyn experienced a sharp, ridiculous sense of displacement.
That evening she complained to Marisol over the phone.
“I’m jealous of the new nanny.”
Marisol laughed for nearly a full minute.
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“This isn’t funny.”
“It is extremely funny.”
“I trained her.”
“You didn’t train her. She has six years more experience than you.”
“That’s not helping.”
“You wanted the girls to adjust.”
“I did.”
“They’re adjusting.”
“I don’t like it.”
Marisol laughed again.
Evelyn lay on her couch staring at the ceiling.
Then she started laughing too.
May you like
Humans were ridiculous.
She wanted the girls secure enough to love multiple caregivers and special enough to love her differently.
