Chương 6
He liked saying that.
“We’re lucky I can carry us.”
Emily had once heard generosity in the sentence.
Now she heard architecture.
A roof could also be a cage if someone else owned the doors.
Lily left the ICU after six days.
Her recovery was uneven.
There were good mornings followed by bad afternoons. She developed a fever that turned out not to be the disaster Emily expected. She refused oatmeal. She slept through a visit from a child-life specialist and woke angry because she had missed the therapy dog.
Dr. Bennett never discussed Daniel’s investigation in front of her.
One afternoon, while Lily watched a cartoon without sound, he asked Emily to step into the hallway.
“I need to tell you something before you hear it elsewhere.”
Emily tightened her cardigan.
“What?”
“The hospital has expanded the pharmacy review.”
“How bad?”
“I don’t know.”
“You know something.”
Bennett looked through the glass at Lily.
“Several patients may have experienced delays connected to stock discrepancies.”
Emily felt her stomach turn.
“Children?”
“Not all of them.”
“That wasn’t my question.”
“One pediatric case is being reviewed.”
Emily closed her eyes.
“Did someone die?”
“I can’t discuss another patient.”
“Michael.”
His face answered before he did.
“I cannot discuss another patient.”
Emily leaned against the wall.
For days she had been holding onto one ugly private thought: Daniel had done this to them.
Their marriage.
Their daughter.
Their catastrophe.
The possibility of another family changed the shape of her anger.
It became larger and less satisfying.
“Was it the same medication?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“Did you know there were shortages before Lily?”
“There are shortages in every hospital system.”
“That is not what I asked.”
“No.”
He waited.
“I knew there had been discrepancies. I did not know why.”
“Did you suspect Daniel?”
Bennett was silent.
Emily studied him.
“You did.”
“I suspected the control system was failing somewhere.”
“That’s not the same thing.”
“No.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were my patient’s mother.”
“My husband ran the pharmacy.”
“Exactly.”
Emily stared at him.
The answer hurt because it made sense.
She had wanted everyone to treat her as separate from Daniel.
She had also assumed she deserved to know everything because she was married to him.
Both could not be true at once.
Bennett said, “I’m sorry.”
She nodded.
Then she went back into Lily’s room and helped her daughter untangle the headphone cord.
That evening, Daniel came to the hospital.
Security stopped him in the lobby.
He called Emily.
She answered because Lily had been asking for him every day.
“Security says you blocked my visitor access.”
His voice sounded exhausted.
“Hospital administration blocked it.”
“You can authorize me for Lily.”
“I can.”
“Then do it.”
Emily sat by the window.
Outside, evening traffic crawled between buildings.
“Are you still with Vanessa?”
Silence.
“That’s not relevant.”
Emily almost admired the consistency.
“It is to me.”
“I am trying to see my daughter.”
“So answer.”
“Emily.”
“Are you with her?”
“Not now.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
A longer silence.
“No.”
“Were you?”
“Yes.”
The word came out quietly.
Emily looked at the reflection of her own face in the darkening glass.
“How long?”
“This is not the place.”
“How long?”
“About a year.”
She had expected the answer.
It still felt physical.
She pressed her fingertips against the windowsill.
“A year.”
“I’m not proud of it.”
“No?”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Turn every sentence into a weapon.”
Emily looked at Lily’s empty bed. She was in a treatment room with a nurse.
“You removed medication from a reserve connected to our daughter.”
“I corrected inventory after Vanessa made a mistake.”
“What mistake?”
“I can’t discuss the case.”
“You can discuss sleeping with her.”
“Apparently.”
“But not the medicine.”
“My attorney told me not to.”
Emily smiled without humor.
“Your attorney has boundaries. That must be exciting for you.”
Daniel breathed out.
There was the faintest sound of movement on his end.
“Let me see Lily.”
“Did Vanessa take the vial?”
“I can’t answer.”
“Did you know she was taking medication from the hospital?”
“No.”
The answer came too quickly.
Emily sat straighter.
It was the first clean denial he had given.
“Did you know she was selling it?”
Silence.
Emily heard the lobby behind him.
A child whining.
An elevator chime.
Then Daniel said, “You need to stop asking questions you don’t understand.”
She closed her eyes.
There he was.
“Goodbye, Daniel.”
“Emily, don’t—”
She ended the call.
She did not authorize the visit.
Lily was furious.
“You said he came.”
“He did.”
“Then why can’t I see him?”
Emily sat on the edge of the bed.
“Because there are things the hospital and police are sorting out.”
“That’s dumb.”
“I know.”
“You could let him.”
“Yes.”
“Then why don’t you?”
Emily rubbed her palms over her knees.
“Because I’m not sure it’s the right thing yet.”
“For who?”
The question was so sharp that Emily flinched.
“For you.”
“You mean for you.”
Lily turned away.
Emily felt anger rise.
She had slept four hours in two days. She had spent the afternoon talking to insurance representatives. Daniel had cheated on her for a year. Police had interviewed her twice. The hospital had asked permission to release Lily’s records to investigators.
And her daughter was accusing her of selfishness.
Emily said, “You do not get to talk to me like that.”
Lily jerked around.
“I want my dad!”
“I know.”
“You hate him.”
“Yes.”
The word escaped before Emily could soften it.
Lily froze.
Emily did too.
The room seemed to shrink.
Lily’s face crumpled.
Emily immediately reached for her.
Lily pulled away.
“Go away.”
“Lily—”
“Go away.”
Emily stood.
For a few seconds she could not move.
Then she walked into the hallway.
She made it to the family bathroom before crying.
Not because Lily had been cruel.
Because Lily had been right.
May you like
Emily did hate him.
And beneath all her careful language, some part of her had wanted to punish Daniel by denying him access to Lily.
