Chương 10
“You’re not moving in,” Ruth said.
“I know.”
“Then why bring everything?”
“In case.”
Ruth looked at Daniel.
He pretended to read a pamphlet about childhood anxiety.
When Dr. Morris opened the office door, she addressed Sofia first.
“I’m Helen.”
“Are you a doctor?”
“Yes.”
“Do you give shots?”
“No.”
“Then how do people know?”
Dr. Morris smiled. “Mostly because I send bills.”
Ruth made a surprised sound that might have been approval.
The first session lasted fifty minutes. Daniel and Ruth joined for the first ten. Dr. Morris explained that she would not ask Sofia to choose between adults or determine guilt from a child’s statement. Her work was to understand Sofia’s emotional safety and needs.
Daniel appreciated the boundary until he realized it applied to him too.
Afterward, Dr. Morris asked to speak with him alone.
Ruth took Sofia to find ice cream.
Dr. Morris remained standing beside the dollhouse.
“Sofia is frightened of being sent away,” she said. “That fear appears genuine.”
“Did she tell you what Vanessa said?”
“I’m not going to provide a transcript of her session unless there is a safety reason.”
“I’m her father.”
“Yes.”
The word contained no apology.
Dr. Morris sat.
“She seems to experience the adults around her as unstable in different ways. Vanessa is stable in routine but unsafe in anger. You are emotionally safer but physically unreliable. Her grandparents feel safe, but she understands their relationship with you is tense.”
Daniel looked at the dinosaurs bin.
“What do I do?”
“Become more reliable.”
“I’ve taken leave.”
“That is an event. Reliability is a pattern.”
He nodded.
“Should Vanessa see her?”
“Not immediately and not without preparation. Sofia does not want contact right now.”
“Will that change?”
“I don’t know.”
“What if Vanessa apologizes?”
“An apology might be useful. It might also pressure Sofia to relieve an adult’s guilt. Timing matters.”
Daniel folded the pamphlet he had carried from the waiting room.
“What about boarding school?”
“Sofia should not be threatened with removal. Whether any specialized school is ever appropriate is a separate clinical and educational question. Based on what I know now, residential placement would not be my recommendation.”
“Can you put that in writing?”
Dr. Morris studied him.
“For whom?”
He unfolded the pamphlet.
“I don’t know yet.”
“That answer matters.”
On the drive home, Daniel stopped at a grocery store.
He had not shopped for a full week of food in years. Mrs. Alvarez managed the house inventory. Vanessa selected dinners. Daniel knew where the grocery store was because he passed it on the way to the airport.
He pushed a cart beneath lights too bright for thought.
Milk. Eggs. Bread. Strawberries. The cereal with the rabbit, not the cereal with the captain. Sofia had explained the distinction many times. He stood in the aisle holding both boxes and could not remember which one she hated.
He called her.
Ruth answered.
“What happened?”
“Nothing. Put Sofia on.”
“Why?”
“I need to ask her something.”
Ruth’s suspicion was exhausting.
A moment later, Sofia came on the line.
“Daddy?”
“Rabbit or captain?”
“What?”
“Cereal.”
“Rabbit.”
“I thought so.”
“You always buy captain.”
“Apparently, I’m growing.”
She laughed.
He bought the rabbit cereal.
At home, Mrs. Alvarez examined his groceries.
“You bought six avocados.”
“They were on sale.”
“They are all ripe today.”
“I didn’t know they coordinated.”
She shook her head and began rearranging the refrigerator.
Daniel stood awkwardly beside her.
“Did you hear Vanessa say things to Sofia?”
Mrs. Alvarez kept moving containers.
“Sometimes.”
“What things?”
“You should ask Mrs. Bennett.”
“I am asking you.”
She closed the refrigerator.
“You want me to help decide who is bad.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Daniel leaned against the counter.
“I want to know what happened when I wasn’t here.”
“A lot happened when you weren’t here.”
“Maria.”
She wiped her hands on a towel.
“Mrs. Bennett was patient many days. More patient than you know. Sofia could be difficult. She broke things. She hid food. She told lies.”
Daniel felt himself bristle.
Mrs. Alvarez saw it.
“You ask truth, then make face when truth comes.”
“I’m listening.”
“Mrs. Bennett also said cruel things when tired. Quiet things. She never wanted staff to hear. Once she told Sofia her mother would be ashamed of her manners.”
Daniel looked at the counter.
“When?”
“Christmas.”
He had been upstairs on a board call during Christmas dinner.
“Anything else?”
“She took photographs from Sofia’s room.”
“What photographs?”
“Mrs. Claire in hospital. She said they made room sad.”
“Did she throw them away?”
“I put them in storage before she could.”
Daniel closed his eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Mrs. Alvarez’s expression hardened.
“I told you Mrs. Bennett and Sofia were not good. You said families need time.”
He remembered that too.
Not the exact day. Only the phrase. Families need time. It had sounded patient and wise when he said it.
“Did Vanessa know you kept the photographs?”
“No.”
“Where are they?”
“In the old linen chest.”
Daniel found eleven photographs wrapped in a pillowcase.
Some showed Claire during treatment, thinner and wearing scarves. One showed Sofia asleep against her mother’s chest in the infusion room. Another showed Claire kneeling in the garden beside a row of tulips, her face pale but amused.
Vanessa had removed them because they made the room sad.
Daniel could understand the impulse. He had avoided the entire west garden because Claire designed it.
Understanding was not the same as permission.
He took the photographs upstairs and placed them on Sofia’s desk without arranging them. She could decide which ones returned to the walls.
On Tuesday, Vanessa sent a written apology through the co-parenting application Margaret recommended, though she was not a co-parent.
Sofia,
What I said to you was wrong. You belong in your home. I was angry and said something to frighten you. Adults should not use fear to control children. You do not need to answer me. I am sorry.
May you like
Daniel read it twice.
There was no excuse in it.
