Chương 13
Damian closed his eyes.
“She writes like a haunted building,” Naomi said.
Lily looked at him. “Do you not want custody?”
“I want a relationship with you. I want to help care for you. I want to be present when you want me and responsible even when you are angry with me. But taking you away from Naomi would hurt you.”
“What if I wanted to live with you?”
“Then we would discuss it slowly with Naomi, your attorney, your therapist, and the court.”
“Why can’t you just say yes?”
“Because wanting something does not always make it safe to take.”
Lily studied him. “Did you learn that from Mom?”
“Yes.”
She looked toward Naomi. “Can I meet his mother?”
Naomi nearly dropped her cup.
Damian said, “You do not owe her that.”
“I know.”
“Why do you want to?”
“So I can see if she lies.”
Celeste agreed to meet at Lena’s office with Lily’s attorney present. She objected to the conditions but complied when Damian made clear there would be no other meeting.
Lily wore a navy dress and carried Mr. Gray. Damian sat beside her in the conference room. Naomi occupied the other side. Celeste entered alone.
For a moment, she simply looked at Lily.
Lily looked back.
Celeste’s gaze moved to the rabbit and the ring hanging from the faded red thread. Her breathing changed.
“I remember that toy,” she said.
“It was Mom’s.”
“Yes.”
“You saw me when I was a baby.”
“Not clearly.”
“You saw my yellow shoe.”
Celeste sat across from her. “Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell him?”
Celeste folded her hands. “I believed your mother might be lying.”
“You could have checked.”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I was afraid of what would happen if she was telling the truth.”
Lily frowned. “What would happen?”
“Your father might leave the company. He might become ill again. He might make decisions that damaged many people’s lives.”
Damian felt Lily’s shoulder stiffen beside him.
“So you decided my life could be damaged instead,” she said.
Celeste looked down at her hands.
“Yes.”
The answer surprised everyone.
Lily touched Mr. Gray’s ear. “Are you sorry?”
“I am.”
“Because people found out?”
Celeste’s mouth tightened. “Partly.”
Damian turned toward her.
Celeste continued before he could speak. “I am accustomed to controlling how I am seen. Public shame is unpleasant. I would be lying if I said it had nothing to do with my regret.”
Lily seemed more interested now.
“But I am also sorry because I believed fear made me responsible,” Celeste said. “It made me cruel.”
“Do you like children?”
Celeste blinked.
Damian looked at the ceiling.
“I have not spent much time with them,” Celeste said.
“That means no.”
“I did not know how to behave with your father when he was young.”
“Did you try?”
“Not enough.”
“Are you going to tell me to change my name?”
“No.”
“Are you going to give me things?”
“I would like to.”
“I don’t like music boxes.”
A flush rose beneath Celeste’s makeup. “I have been informed.”
“You spelled my name wrong.”
“I used the name I thought—”
“My name is Lily Arden.”
“Yes.”
Lily held the rabbit closer. “You can send me a letter when you know something about me.”
Celeste glanced at Damian.
He did not help her.
“What should I know?” she asked.
“That’s your job.”
Celeste absorbed this. “All right.”
The meeting lasted eleven minutes.
In the elevator afterward, Lily leaned against Naomi.
“She told the truth,” she said.
“Some of it,” Naomi replied.
“Do you like her?” Damian asked.
“No.”
The elevator descended.
Lily added, “But I might later.”
Celeste’s letter arrived two weeks afterward. It contained no gift. She wrote that she had learned Lily preferred chocolate-chip pancakes, disliked music boxes, played card games dishonestly, and considered most formal language suspicious. She asked whether Lily would permit another meeting.
Lily corrected card games dishonestly to creatively and wrote maybe at the bottom.
The family-court process moved more slowly than the public story. There were interviews, home visits, background checks, forms, and discussions that could not be shortened by Damian’s influence. He attended each appointment without bringing more lawyers than necessary. When a caseworker asked about his past alcohol use, he answered. When she asked whether he had ever used employees to monitor Eva, he answered that too.
Naomi disliked the invasion into her finances and relationships. She became angry when a home evaluator measured the distance between Lily’s bed and the radiator. Damian offered to complain, then stopped when Naomi reminded him that every caregiver underwent scrutiny.
“What you can do,” she said, “is make sure they scrutinize your house just as hard.”
He did.
The evaluator found that his penthouse had no child’s room, no food a child would willingly eat, and several pieces of furniture with sharp glass edges. Damian did not redesign it immediately. He asked Lily whether she expected to spend nights there.
“Not yet,” she said.
He converted a guest room only after she chose the wall color herself. She selected green, then changed her mind to yellow after the first coat.
The contractor looked at Damian.
Damian said, “Paint it again.”
Lily whispered, “That was arranging.”
“It was paint.”
“You didn’t even sigh.”
“I sighed internally.”
She chose a small bed rather than the larger one he recommended. She placed three books on the shelf and left the rest empty. Mr. Gray stayed at Naomi’s apartment.
The first overnight visit occurred four months after the gala. Lily called Naomi twice before bedtime and once at two in the morning. Damian slept in a chair outside the guest room because Lily had said she did not want to wake up alone but also did not want him inside.
At dawn, she opened the door and found him with his head against the wall.
“You look dead,” she said.
“I slept poorly.”
“Your chair is worse than Naomi’s couch.”
May you like
“I have made several findings.”
She brought him a blanket and went back to bed.
