Chương 7
“You came with power.”
Claire watched a bus stop at the corner.
“Maybe I did.”
Julia said nothing.
Claire surprised herself by continuing.
“I liked being able to solve it. I liked that all of you needed something I could provide. I told myself it was only about Lily, but part of me liked walking into that room with an answer.”
“That doesn’t make what we did right.”
“No.”
“It doesn’t make the sponsorship yours to take away after you promised.”
“Yes, it does. Legally and financially, it does.”
“I’m not talking about legally.”
“Neither am I.”
The rain thickened.
Julia said, “What do you want me to do?”
“For the tuition?”
“For any of it.”
Claire rested her forehead briefly against the cool window.
“Stop asking what performance will get the money back.”
Julia’s answer came slowly.
“I don’t know what else to ask.”
“That’s honest, at least.”
Two nights later, Lily appeared in the lobby of Claire’s apartment building with her pink dance bag over one shoulder.
The concierge called upstairs.
“She says she’s your niece.”
“She is.”
“She says her father knows she’s here.”
Claire called Mark before allowing Lily up.
“She asked me to drive her,” he said. “I’m parked outside.”
“You’re not coming in?”
“She said she needed to do it alone.”
Claire looked at the security monitor. Lily stood near the elevator in her pale-pink cardigan, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
“All right,” Claire said.
When the elevator doors opened, Lily remained inside until they began to close again. She caught them with one hand and stepped into the hall.
“I won’t stay long.”
Claire moved aside.
Lily entered and immediately noticed the crooked shoe Mark had left near the mat days earlier. Claire had not corrected it after he left. She was not sure why.
Lily removed her sneakers and placed them neatly beside it.
“Dad said the necklace can be fixed.”
“Yes.”
“When do you get it back?”
“Next week.”
Lily nodded.
They stood in the living room.
Claire gestured toward the sofa.
Lily sat on the edge, the pink bag between her knees.
“Do you want water?”
“No. Thank you.”
Claire sat across from her.
Lily looked around. She had visited the apartment before, but not often. Her eyes paused on a framed photograph of Ruth at a picnic table, holding a paper plate and glaring at whoever had taken the picture.
“That’s her?”
“Yes.”
“She looks mad.”
“She usually looked mad in photographs. She thought smiling on command was dishonest.”
Lily studied the picture.
“Mom says she was hard on everyone.”
“She was.”
“Was she hard on you?”
“Yes.”
“But she gave you the necklace.”
“People can love you and still be difficult.”
Lily tightened her fingers around the strap of her bag.
“Mom told me Great-Grandma gave it to you because you were the favorite.”
“She gave it to me because I visited her every week.”
“That sounds like favorite.”
“It sounds like I lived twenty minutes away and your mother had two small children.”
Lily looked down.
“I don’t know what’s true anymore.”
“About the necklace?”
“About the academy. Mom said you helped me get in.”
“I did not.”
Lily’s shoulders moved with one shallow breath.
“Did you talk to them before my audition?”
“No.”
“Did you send them anything?”
“No.”
“Did they know I was your niece?”
“Not from me.”
Lily pressed her lips together.
“Then I earned it?”
“Yes.”
The word seemed to hurt her.
She looked away quickly, toward the windows.
“I almost quit before the audition,” she said. “Mom told me not to be dramatic because your connections would make sure they watched me. I thought they were only being nice in the acceptance letter.”
“They were specific about your work.”
“You read it?”
“Many times.”
Lily’s eyes returned to Claire.
“Why?”
“Because I was proud of you.”
The silence that followed was not comfortable.
Lily rubbed the seam of the dance bag with her thumbnail.
“I pulled the necklace because Mom said you were acting like you were better than everyone.”
“When?”
“Before dinner. You were talking to Grandma about the jewelry box. Mom said you always wore that cheap necklace to make people ask about it. She said you liked pretending everything you owned had a history.”
Claire glanced toward Ruth’s photograph.
“Your mother knew the history.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Dad showed me the receipt.”
Claire’s eyes narrowed.
“Your grandmother gave him a copy.”
Lily nodded.
“I know Mom lied. But I still did it. I wanted everybody to laugh with me. They had been talking about the academy all night, and I felt like…” She stopped.
“Like what?”
“Like I was a project.”
Claire waited.
“Grandma kept saying how lucky I was. Uncle Peter said I better remember the family when I got famous. Mom kept telling people how much the tuition was. Then you came in with the folder, and everyone looked at you instead of me.”
There it was: petty, embarrassing, human.
“You resented me,” Claire said.
“For about five minutes.”
“Five minutes is enough time to do damage.”
“I know.”
Lily’s eyes filled, but she blinked until the tears stayed where they were.
“I didn’t come to ask for the money.”
“Why did you come?”
“I wanted to know if you were still my aunt.”
Claire looked at her.
“That is not something you get to make me answer quickly.”
Lily nodded.
“I know.”
“You humiliated me in front of the family. Then you used your mother’s lie as if it erased your choice.”
“I know.”
“You are sorry now partly because you lost something.”
Lily’s face reddened.
“Yes.”
The admission softened nothing, but it made the room more honest.
Claire leaned back.
“I’m still your aunt,” she said. “I’m not your sponsor.”
Lily swallowed.
“Okay.”
“The academy offered a deferral.”
“I don’t want to defer.”
“That may be your best option.”
“I’ll be behind.”
“Behind whom?”
May you like
“Everyone.”
“You will always be behind someone.”
