Chương 6
“It means when he was afraid, he became certain.”
Ethan frowned.
Henry continued.
“He said thirteen was too young. Then he said fifteen. Then eighteen. Then he said Rebecca had no right to disrupt your life after staying away so long.”
“She stayed away because he told her to.”
“I said that.”
“What did he say?”
“That proved she didn't want you badly enough.”
Ethan stared at him.
Henry's face hardened.
“I told him that was cruel.”
“Then what?”
“He said cruel wasn't the same as wrong.”
Ethan looked toward the road.
A garbage truck stopped two houses down.
A man in an orange vest rolled bins toward it.
The ordinary sound irritated Ethan.
“How could he say that?”
Henry watched the truck.
“He was frightened.”
“Everybody keeps saying that like it's medicine.”
“No.”
“Then stop.”
Henry nodded.
Ethan kicked lightly at the edge of the porch step.
“Was Dad a bad person?”
Henry looked at him.
“No.”
“You answered fast.”
“I've had six weeks to ask myself.”
“And?”
“And your father was generous and impatient. He could fix any washing machine made before 2005 and somehow made every modern printer worse by touching it. He gave money he didn't have to people who never paid him back. He also held grudges until they turned stupid. He loved you. He lied to you.”
Henry's voice roughened.
“He was my son. I miss him so much some mornings I get angry at the coffee because he isn't here to complain about it.”
He looked at Ethan.
“None of those facts erase the others.”
Ethan stared at the leaking sprinkler.
“I hate answers like that.”
“So do I.”
The front door opened behind them.
Laura stepped onto the porch wearing yesterday's black trousers and one of Henry's old sweatshirts.
Ethan's stomach dropped.
She looked at his bicycle.
Then at him.
“I called you eleven times.”
“My phone was on silent.”
“I know. I could see that after the first eleven.”
Ethan put his hands in his jacket pockets.
“You tracked me.”
“Yes.”
“You invaded my privacy.”
“You are thirteen and disappeared from the house after finding out your parents concealed your adoption. I will invade your privacy so hard your grandchildren feel it.”
Henry coughed into his hand.
Laura pointed at him without looking.
“Not one word.”
Henry closed his mouth.
Ethan said, “He won't give me Rebecca's number.”
Laura's anger paused.
Henry looked at her.
“I told him we'd wait for you.”
Laura exhaled.
“Thank you.”
Ethan stared at them.
“This is what you do. You all decide things.”
Laura sat beside Henry.
“No. This is what we have done. It is not what we're doing next.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you are going to have a say.”
“A say.”
“Yes.”
“Not permission?”
Laura hesitated.
“Not exactly.”
“Then it's still you deciding.”
“Ethan, there are things I am legally responsible for because you are a child.”
“There. That's the sentence. You always have one.”
“Yes, I have one. I'm the adult. Sometimes the boring answer is the real answer.”
He turned away.
Laura spoke more quietly.
“I am not going to forbid you from contacting Rebecca.”
He turned back.
Henry's eyes shifted toward her.
Laura saw it.
“Don't look surprised. It makes me want to change my mind.”
Henry looked straight ahead.
Ethan sat on the grass.
“When?”
“Today, if you still want to after we talk.”
“I want to.”
“I assumed.”
“What do we have to talk about?”
“What you want from her.”
“I don't know.”
“Good.”
“Good?”
“Yes. Because if you had a perfect answer right now, I'd know you were making one up.”
Ethan picked at a blade of grass.
“I want to know why she left.”
“You can ask.”
“I want to know if she looks like me.”
Laura's mouth moved slightly.
“You do.”
Ethan looked up.
Laura's eyes were wet again.
“Your eyebrows. Your chin when you're annoyed.”
“I'm not annoyed.”
Henry said, “That's Rebecca's chin.”
Ethan looked at him.
Henry lifted both palms.
“Sorry.”
Ethan looked back at Laura.
“You've always known what I got from her.”
“Yes.”
“And you never said.”
“No.”
“Did that bother you?”
Laura considered.
“Sometimes.”
“Why?”
“Because mothers are petty sometimes.”
Henry looked down.
Laura continued.
“When you were little, people would say you had Daniel's smile. I loved that. Then somebody would say your eyes didn't look like either of ours, and I would feel defensive about your face. Which is ridiculous.”
“It is.”
“I know.”
“Stop agreeing.”
“Right.”
Henry's sprinkler gave a sudden hiss.
A thin spray of water shot across the flower bed and hit his trouser leg.
He stared at it.
Ethan laughed.
Henry said, “Excellent timing.”
Laura laughed too.
Ethan stopped.
The other two stopped after him.
For several seconds nobody knew what expression to wear.
Then Henry stood.
“I'm shutting off the water.”
Laura watched him limp toward the side yard.
“He kept the letters when Daniel wanted them returned.”
Ethan looked at her.
“Why?”
“Because Henry promised Rebecca.”
“What promise?”
Laura looked toward the street.
“That there would always be a path back to you.”
Ethan waited.
She rubbed her palms over her knees.
“Rebecca gave birth at St. Vincent's. Two days later Daniel brought her to the terminal.”
“The terminal?”
“Henry still worked there. The presidential hall had been closed to passengers, but he had keys. Rebecca didn't want to go to Daniel's apartment. I was there.”
“You were there?”
Laura nodded.
Ethan tried to picture it and could not.
“Why?”
“Because Daniel asked me.”
“You and Dad were married?”
“Separated.”
Ethan stared.
Laura gave a humorless smile.
“Another family fact we never exactly advertised.”
“You got back together because of me?”
“No.”
The answer was immediate.
Then Laura corrected herself.
“Not only because of you.”
“That sounds like yes.”
“It changed things.”
“How?”
May you like
Laura looked toward the house where Henry had disappeared.
“Your father called me from the hospital. He was terrified. Rebecca had decided she couldn't raise you alone. Daniel wanted you. Rebecca wanted him to have you. The problem was Daniel could barely keep himself organized enough to renew his car registration.”
