Chương 6
Daniel looked at her.
Emily shrugged.
“I’m done with people using him to answer adult questions.”
William’s expression softened.
“That sounds fair.”
Daniel rubbed his eyes.
“Can we get one through the same accredited lab?”
“Probably,” Emily said. “Call them.”
Daniel picked up his phone.
Then stopped.
“What if I don’t want to know?”
Nobody answered immediately.
William finally said, “Then we don’t do it.”
Daniel looked at him.
William’s voice shook.
“You’re my son either way.”
Daniel pressed his lips together.
William continued.
“I mean that. I’m not saying it because it’s what I’m supposed to say.”
Daniel looked down.
“I know.”
William stood.
He went toward the bassinet again.
Noah opened his eyes for approximately three seconds, looked offended by existence, and closed them.
William smiled.
“Still looks like you.”
Daniel gave him a tired look.
“Maybe we should retire visual genetics for the week.”
William almost laughed.
“Probably smart.”
For two days, Margaret did not come back.
She texted Daniel.
She texted William.
She did not text Emily.
Emily found that more insulting than she wanted to admit.
She had expected an apology.
Not because she thought Margaret would suddenly transform into a person who apologized easily, but because there were levels of behavior after which social custom practically demanded an attempt.
Nothing came.
By the third day, Emily began checking her phone for messages she claimed not to want.
Daniel noticed.
“You waiting for her?”
“No.”
“You just checked your phone after putting it on the counter nine seconds ago.”
“I’m postpartum. I have no memory.”
“You’re waiting for her.”
Emily glared at him.
He lifted both hands.
She sighed.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I want her to say it.”
“Say what?”
“That she did something wrong to me.”
Daniel’s expression softened.
“She did.”
“I know.”
“Does hearing it from her change that?”
“No.”
“Then why do you need it?”
Emily looked at him.
“Because I’m petty.”
Daniel nodded.
“Fair.”
She threw a burp cloth at him.
He caught it.
The ordinary ugliness of the truth relieved her.
She did want Margaret to lower herself.
She wanted the woman who had corrected Emily’s choice of stroller, questioned her epidural, reorganized her kitchen cabinets without asking, and once told Daniel that Emily was “sensitive about boundaries” to admit that this time the boundary had not merely been crossed.
It had been trampled.
Emily wanted satisfaction.
She did not particularly admire that desire.
She still had it.
The direct DNA appointment for Daniel and William was scheduled for Friday morning.
Margaret found out Thursday night.
William told her.
She arrived at their house at seven twenty-three.
Daniel did not let her in.
Emily watched from the sofa while he stood on the porch.
Margaret’s voice carried faintly through the closed window.
“This is unnecessary.”
Daniel answered, “Then the result will be simple.”
“You’re humiliating your father.”
“He asked for the test.”
“Because you frightened him.”
Daniel stared at her.
Margaret lowered her voice.
Emily could no longer hear.
Daniel answered sharply enough that Noah startled in Emily’s arms.
She stood and walked away from the window.
A few minutes later, Daniel came inside.
“What did she say?”
He locked the door.
“That Dad and I are punishing her for something that happened before I was born.”
Emily waited.
Daniel rubbed the back of his neck.
“She also said Stephen might not be involved.”
“Might?”
“Apparently there were dates.”
Emily stared at him.
Daniel laughed without humor.
“Yeah.”
“Did she say that?”
“Not exactly. She said there was overlap and uncertainty.”
Emily sat down.
Daniel stood by the door.
“She’s known for thirty-three years that Dad might not be my biological father.”
“Yes.”
“And she used his DNA anyway.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Emily had thought about that more than she wanted to.
“Because believing Noah wasn’t yours was easier.”
Daniel looked at her.
“Than what?”
“Than accepting what the test actually meant.”
He stared toward the window where his mother had been.
Emily continued.
“She got a result saying William wasn’t Noah’s grandfather. She had two possible explanations. Either I cheated, or the thing she’s avoided for your entire life was real.”
Daniel’s face tightened.
“So she picked me.”
“What?”
“She picked protecting herself over protecting me.”
Emily did not answer.
Daniel looked at her.
“Say something.”
“I think she panicked.”
“That’s not better.”
“No.”
“You always try to understand everybody.”
Emily shook her head.
“I’m trying to understand what happened. That isn’t the same as excusing it.”
He looked away.
“I don’t want an explanation.”
“You will eventually.”
“No.”
“You asked why.”
“I want an answer that makes it not what it is.”
Emily’s chest hurt.
She stood and crossed the room.
Daniel let her put her arms around him.
For several seconds he did nothing.
Then he leaned into her carefully because Noah was between them.
It was an awkward family hug.
Emily’s arm went numb.
Noah made a wet snuffling sound.
Daniel whispered, “He’s ruining the moment.”
“He has strong boundaries.”
Daniel laughed into Emily’s hair.
Friday’s test took fourteen minutes.
Emily stayed home with Noah.
Daniel texted afterward.
Done.
Then:
Dad made a joke about switching babies at the hospital and the technician did not laugh.
Emily replied:
I don’t blame her.
Daniel:
Traitor.
The results would take several business days.
Those days stretched.
William went back to work.
Daniel returned to his office remotely for half-days because his parental leave arrangement had been complicated by a project he had agreed to oversee before Noah arrived.
Emily resented the project.
She also resented herself for resenting it because Daniel worked from the upstairs bedroom and came down every time she texted.
One afternoon, he appeared in the kitchen carrying his laptop during a video meeting because Noah had been crying for twenty minutes and Emily had begun crying too.
Daniel muted himself, took the baby, and paced while a coworker presented quarterly numbers through one earbud.
May you like
Emily sat on the floor beside the refrigerator.
“I’m a bad mother.”
