Chương 8
It was childish.
Immediate.
Human.
She let it pass.
Julian looked at the divorce sleeve.
“You really want this?”
Elena answered without hesitation.
“Yes.”
He looked down.
“What if I don't sign?”
“Then we do it the slow way.”
“You already talked to lawyers.”
“For months.”
His head came up.
“Months?”
“Yes.”
“Before Mom died?”
“Yes.”
That seemed to shock him.
“You were planning to leave while she was sick?”
Elena's patience broke.
Not loudly.
“I was planning to leave because my husband was living with another woman.”
Chloe flinched.
Julian looked at her.
“Don't drag her into—”
“She is holding your child in your mother's kitchen.”
That ended the sentence.
Elena pressed her fingers to her temple.
“I am tired, Julian.”
His face changed.
Not because the words were dramatic.
Because he recognized them.
During treatment, Elena had said I am tired more often than she had said I am afraid.
He used to bring her water.
Massage the back of her neck.
Sit beside her in silence.
Once he had loved her well.
That truth did not vanish because he later loved her badly.
Julian looked at the documents.
“What are the terms?”
“Read them.”
“Tell me.”
“No.”
He almost smiled despite himself.
“You always hated summarizing.”
“You always hated reading.”
For one brief second, something old passed between them.
Then Chloe stood.
“I can't do this.”
Julian turned.
“What?”
“I need to leave.”
“With the baby?”
She stared at him.
“Obviously with the baby.”
“Chloe, we're going to the hotel.”
“You are.”
His expression sharpened.
“What does that mean?”
“It means I need somewhere else tonight.”
“Where?”
“I'll figure it out.”
“You don't know New York.”
“I know how hotels work.”
“Elena has spent two hours trying to destroy us.”
Elena looked at him.
Chloe's face went blank.
“Do you hear yourself?”
Julian rubbed his forehead.
“I didn't mean—”
“Yes, you did.”
“No. I'm upset.”
“So am I.”
“You think I'm not?”
“I think every time something hurts you, you make it evidence that someone else is cruel.”
Julian stared at her.
Elena did too.
Chloe looked almost surprised by her own sentence.
She adjusted the baby's blanket.
“I knew you were married,” she said. “That's mine. I don't get to pretend I didn't.”
Julian's eyes flicked toward Elena.
Chloe continued.
“But you told me your marriage had been dead for years. You told me Elena refused to give you a family. You told me your mother understood.”
Elena's stomach turned at the phrase refused to give you.
Julian said, “That's not what I said.”
Chloe's voice stayed level.
“You said she chose work over trying again.”
Elena looked at Julian.
He did not meet her eyes.
There was the betrayal beneath the betrayal.
Not the affair.
The story he had needed to tell to make the affair comfortable.
Elena had ended fertility treatment after a hemorrhage put her in the hospital.
Julian knew that.
He had signed the consent forms.
He had slept in a plastic chair beside her bed.
He had watched a doctor explain that another pregnancy was possible but carried risks Elena did not need to take unless she wanted to.
Julian had told her, “We're done. I want you.”
Apparently later, he had translated that into she chose work.
Elena felt sick.
“You told her I refused?”
Julian's face changed.
“Elena—”
“Yes or no.”
“I was trying to explain where we were.”
“By lying about my body?”
“I didn't discuss your body.”
“You discussed why we didn't have children.”
Chloe whispered, “Oh my God.”
Julian looked trapped.
For years he had been good at conversations because he controlled the frame.
Now there were two women in the room holding different pieces of his story.
No frame survived both.
“I said you didn't want to keep trying.”
“After I nearly bled to death.”
“I know.”
“Did you include that part?”
He looked at the floor.
Elena nodded.
“Right.”
Julian stood.
“I'm not proud of how I handled things.”
“That sounds like something you say about missing a birthday.”
“What do you want? You said you didn't want an apology.”
“I don't.”
“Then stop asking me questions designed to make me apologize.”
Elena stared at him.
There he was again.
The man who could turn shame into irritation faster than anyone she knew.
She picked up the divorce papers and held them out.
“This is what I want.”
Julian looked at the sleeve.
“Sign your part.”
His eyes moved to hers.
“And then?”
“Then we stop being married.”
The simplicity of it seemed to frighten him.
He took the sleeve.
Chloe walked toward the front door.
Julian looked after her.
“You're seriously leaving?”
“Yes.”
“Over this?”
She stopped.
Elena closed her eyes briefly.
Over this.
Chloe turned.
“No. Not over this. Over the fact that I suddenly don't know which parts of my life came from your mouth and which parts actually happened.”
Julian had no answer.
Chloe opened the door.
Cold air moved through the hallway.
Elena followed her outside.
Julian called, “Elena.”
She ignored him.
On the front steps Chloe adjusted the baby against her shoulder.
The street was quieter now.
A delivery van idled at the corner.
Mrs. Alvarez had gone inside.
Chloe looked embarrassed.
“I don't know why I'm telling you this.”
“You don't have to.”
“I have money.”
Elena waited.
“That sounded terrible.”
“A little.”
“I mean I can get a hotel. I'm not asking you for anything.”
“I know.”
Chloe looked at the baby.
“He loves Julian.”
Elena's chest tightened.
“Babies love whoever holds them.”
Chloe nodded.
“Julian's good with him.”
Elena looked toward the house.
“I believe you.”
Chloe seemed surprised.
“You do?”
“Yes.”
“He gets up at night.”
Elena said nothing.
“He sings terribly.”
“That I believe.”
Chloe almost smiled.
Then her face crumpled for one second before she controlled it.
“I thought he was a good father.”
“He may be.”
She stared at Elena.
May you like
“After everything you just said?”
“Being terrible in one relationship doesn't automatically make someone terrible in every relationship.”
