Chương 3
“Neither do you, apparently.”
“I know enough.”
“Then tell me.”
Her mother’s voice dropped.
“Not while Richard is here.”
Mara stared through the windshield.
Richard.
Not your father.
Her mother always called him Dad when speaking to Mara.
Your father if she was irritated with him.
Richard only when speaking to strangers.
Mara opened Thomas Bell’s message.
It contained three sentences.
Hello, Mara.
I’m sorry you had to find out this way.
Before you speak to Elaine, there is something you need to know about Richard.
Mara read the last sentence twice.
Her mother was saying her name.
“Mara?”
She put the call on speaker.
“What does Thomas know about Dad?”
The answer came too fast.
“Nothing.”
“He says there’s something I need to know.”
“Delete the message.”
“Why?”
“Because he is not entitled to walk back into our lives.”
“He says he’s sorry I found out this way.”
“Mara.”
“That sounds like he already knew I existed.”
“He didn’t.”
“How can you possibly know what he knew?”
“I just do.”
“Did you tell him?”
“No.”
“Did somebody else?”
“No.”
“Then explain it.”
Elaine’s breathing had become audible.
For the first time Mara could remember, her mother sounded afraid.
“Come to the house after Richard leaves for his cardiology appointment.”
“When?”
“Ten thirty.”
“You said he was home.”
“He is.”
“And you don’t want him hearing this.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because there are things you don’t understand.”
“That’s becoming obvious.”
“Do not contact Thomas before you get here.”
Mara looked at the message again.
“I’m not promising that.”
“You have to.”
“No, Mom, apparently I don’t have to do nearly as many things as I thought.”
“Mara, listen to me.”
She ended the call.
Her hands shook afterward.
She put the phone in the cup holder and sat without touching it.
A delivery truck pulled into the pharmacy lot, forcing a sedan to reverse awkwardly while its driver gestured through the windshield.
Somewhere nearby, a leaf blower started.
The normal morning continued with insulting confidence.
Mara thought of Richard teaching her to drive in the high school parking lot.
He had brought a travel mug of coffee and gripped the door handle every time she turned.
When she nearly hit a concrete divider, he had shouted, then apologized, then made her try again because, he said, fear got expensive when you let it make decisions.
At twenty-two, when Mara’s first serious boyfriend left, Richard had driven three hours to her apartment with a toolbox because she had mentioned a leaking faucet.
He repaired it badly.
They ordered Chinese food and never discussed the boyfriend.
When Evie was born by emergency C-section and Daniel froze beside the hospital bed, Richard sat in the waiting room for eleven hours with a crossword puzzle he never finished.
Biology did not erase any of that.
Mara knew this.
Her body did not.
Her body had already begun searching backward through thirty-nine years, examining faces, gestures, illnesses, family jokes, every casual claim of resemblance.
Her phone vibrated again.
She expected Thomas.
It was Richard.
Don’t forget I’m coming at 5.
Tell Evie I found the good oak boards.
Mara covered her mouth.
She could not decide which was worse, that he knew nothing or that perhaps he knew everything.
Then another message arrived.
This one was from Thomas.
I shouldn’t have mentioned Richard without explaining.
Please don’t confront him alone.
Mara read it once.
Then again.
The parking lot seemed to narrow around her.
She called Thomas Bell.
He answered before the second ring.
Neither of them spoke.
Mara could hear a faint mechanical hum on his end and, farther away, gulls.
“Is this Mara?”
His voice was lower than Richard’s, careful in a way that irritated her instantly.
“You told me not to confront my father alone.”
Thomas exhaled.
“I shouldn’t have written that.”
“You did.”
“Yes.”
“So explain it.”
“I’d rather do this in person.”
“That seems to be everybody’s favorite sentence today.”
“I imagine it is.”
“You imagine?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that.”
“All right.”
She pressed her thumb against the steering wheel until the nail hurt.
“Did you know about me?”
A long pause followed.
“Yes.”
The answer struck harder than her mother’s had.
“How long?”
“Mara—”
“How long?”
“Since before you were born.”
She stared at the pharmacy doors as people moved in and out carrying white paper bags.
“My mother said you didn’t.”
“I’m sure she did.”
Something in his tone made her sit upright.
Not contempt.
Something older and more tired.
“Why is she lying?”
“I can’t answer that without telling you things that belong to more people than me.”
“You contacted me.”
“I know.”
“You put my father’s name in the message.”
“I know.”
“So you don’t get to become ethical halfway through.”
Thomas was quiet.
When he spoke again, the caution had changed into resignation.
“Is Richard with you?”
“No.”
“Where is he?”
“At home, I think.”
“Keep it that way for now.”
Mara felt anger flare again.
“You’re a stranger.”
“Yes.”
“You don’t tell me what to do with my father.”
“No.”
“Then stop.”
“You’re right.”
She almost hung up.
Then Thomas said, “Did Elaine tell you why she bought the tests?”
Mara looked at the genealogy kit advertisement still open beneath his profile.
“She said it was a mistake.”
“It wasn’t.”
The leaf blower stopped, leaving a sudden hollow silence.
“What was it?”
Thomas did not answer immediately.
When he did, his voice had lost its careful distance.
“She was looking for someone.”
Mara gripped the phone.
“Me?”
“No.”
“Then who?”
A car pulled into the space beside hers, and an elderly man climbed out carrying a reusable grocery bag.
Mara turned toward her window, lowering her voice for no reason.
“Thomas.”
“Ask Elaine.”
“She won’t tell me anything.”
“She will if you ask the right question.”
“What question?”
He hesitated.
“Ask her why your brother never received a DNA kit.”
Mara frowned.
“Noah did.”
May you like
“I don’t think he did.”
“I watched him open it.”
