Chương 7
Rachel knelt and wrapped her arms around her. Emily’s body remained stiff for several seconds before leaning in.
That night, Emily refused to sleep in her room.
Rachel spread blankets on the living-room floor and lay beside her. The carpet smelled faintly of dust because she had postponed renting a cleaner. Traffic hissed on the wet-looking street outside, though no rain had fallen.
Emily kept her gray sneakers beside the blanket.
“You can put them by the door,” Rachel whispered.
“I want them here.”
“Okay.”
At eleven seventeen, Laura called.
Rachel silenced the phone.
At eleven nineteen, Margaret called.
Rachel silenced that call too.
A minute later, a message appeared.
You need to correct the record before this destroys the family.
Rachel stared at the screen until the words blurred.
Emily’s eyes were closed, but her breathing had changed. She was awake.
Rachel turned the phone facedown.
“Was that Grandma?” Emily asked.
“Yes.”
“What did she say?”
“That she’s worried about what happens next.”
“To us?”
Rachel looked at the dark ceiling. “Mostly to herself.”
Emily considered this. “She gets mad when people know things.”
“Yes.”
“Like the basket?”
“Yes.”
“And the list?”
“Yes.”
“Are you going to tell?”
Rachel heard Margaret’s voice from years earlier: Family problems stay in the family. She had said it when Laura was caught stealing from a store at sixteen, when Rachel came home with a bruise from a boyfriend at twenty-two, when their father left after months of shouting and one broken kitchen chair. Silence had never protected the family. It had protected the person most afraid of embarrassment.
“Yes,” Rachel said. “I’m going to tell the truth.”
Emily reached for her hand in the dark.
The child welfare investigator called at eight the next morning.
Her name was Carmen Alvarez. She explained that she needed to interview Rachel and Emily, review the police report, and assess the safety of all children involved. Her tone was professional without being cold. She did not tell Rachel what conclusion she expected.
“Will you talk to my mother?” Rachel asked.
“Yes.”
“She’ll sound reasonable.”
“Most people do when they know they’re being evaluated.”
Rachel looked at Emily, who was sitting on the couch in yesterday’s clothes, watching a cartoon without seeming to follow it.
“And my sister?”
“Yes.”
“She’ll agree with whoever spoke last.”
Carmen paused. “That can also be useful information.”
They arranged to meet that afternoon at a county family-services office rather than the apartment. Emily asked whether she was in trouble when Rachel explained.
“No.”
“Then why do they need to ask me things?”
“Because grown-ups gave different stories.”
“Mine and Grandma’s?”
“Yes.”
“Will they know who’s lying?”
“They’ll try.”
Emily pulled her knees under her shirt. “What if Grandma cries?”
Rachel almost said Margaret did not cry. Then she remembered a funeral, an old photograph, and the day Rachel’s father left. Margaret cried when grief was private. Publicly, she became harder.
“Crying doesn’t decide who’s telling the truth,” Rachel said.
At ten, Rachel’s supervisor called. Rachel expected sympathy to have expired overnight.
Instead, Denise asked whether Emily was safe and then explained that Rachel had used all but one day of paid leave. The company could approve unpaid emergency time, but Denise needed to document the absence.
“I understand,” Rachel said.
“I’m not trying to pressure you.”
“I know.”
“There’s also the client review Thursday.”
Rachel closed her eyes. “I know.”
“I can move your part to Friday, but I can’t remove you from it. We’re already short.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Don’t promise before you know.”
Rachel almost laughed. Daniel had said nearly the same thing.
“I need the job,” Rachel said.
Denise lowered her voice. “I know you do. Send me what you can from home. We’ll deal with the rest after the interview.”
When the call ended, Rachel opened her bank app. The balance was worse than she remembered because the electric bill had cleared. She began calculating childcare costs for the following week. School started Monday, but classes ended two hours before her shift. The after-school program had placed Emily fifth on a waiting list.
Margaret had been free.
That word changed meaning as Rachel stared at the numbers.
Emily came into the kitchen. She had changed into a clean yellow shirt but kept the same jeans.
“Are we poor?”
Rachel locked the phone. “Why?”
“You make that face when we’re poor.”
“We’re not poor.”
“Are we medium poor?”
Rachel leaned back against the counter. “We have enough for the apartment and food. We need to be careful.”
“Because Grandma can’t watch me?”
“Grandma will not watch you.”
Emily nodded. She seemed relieved first, then guilty for being relieved.
“I can stay alone.”
“No.”
“I’m eight.”
“That is one of the reasons.”
“I know not to open the door.”
“No.”
“I could call you.”
“No.”
Emily’s shoulders rose. “Then you’re going to lose your job because of me.”
Rachel crossed the kitchen before the sentence finished.
“This is not because of you.”
“You missed yesterday.”
“Because adults failed to keep you safe.”
“And today.”
“Because I’m responsible for making sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Emily looked unconvinced.
Rachel crouched. “Jobs are adult problems. Money is an adult problem. Childcare is an adult problem. You may hear me worry. You may see me upset. That still does not turn them into your fault.”
“Grandma says everybody has to carry their weight.”
“She is right about some things and wrong about others.”
“What if my weight is too heavy?”
Rachel looked at her small hands.
“Then I carry more until you grow.”
The family-services office occupied the second floor of a low brick building beside a dental clinic. The waiting room had plastic chairs, a fish tank with no fish, and a bead maze bolted to a table. A toddler pushed the beads back and forth while his father filled out forms.
May you like
Emily sat beside Rachel and held Daniel’s empty water bottle.
Carmen Alvarez came out wearing navy slacks and a green blouse. She was in her forties, with silver beginning at the front of her dark hair. She introduced herself to Emily before Rachel.
