Chương 7
She appeared on the landing.
“What?”
“I wrote you something.”
She looked suspicious.
“You don’t have to read it.”
“Then why’d you write it?”
“I don’t know.”
She came down three steps.
He held it out.
She did not take it.
“What does it say?”
Noah stared at the folded page.
“That I’m sorry I put the money in your backpack.”
“You already said that.”
“I know.”
“What else?”
“That I knew Grandma would probably find it.”
Lily’s expression changed.
Rachel stopped scooping ice.
Noah’s eyes filled.
“I didn’t know she’d blame you like that.”
“But you knew she might find it.”
“Yes.”
“Why mine?”
Noah looked at the floor.
“Because she wouldn’t search yours first.”
Lily went still.
Rachel felt anger rise again.
Not at Evelyn this time.
At her son.
Noah forced himself to continue.
“Because everybody thinks you’re good.”
Lily stared at him.
He cried without wiping his face.
“I thought if it was in your bag, she’d think maybe she lost it or something. Or she’d stop looking.”
“You used me because nobody thinks I steal.”
He nodded.
“That’s mean.”
“I know.”
“Really mean.”
“I know.”
Lily walked the rest of the way downstairs.
She took the letter.
Then she tore it in half.
Noah flinched.
Rachel almost said her name.
Lily tore the halves again.
“I don’t want a letter.”
Noah nodded.
“Okay.”
“I want you to never do that again.”
“Okay.”
“And don’t put stuff in my backpack.”
“Okay.”
“And you owe me something.”
Noah looked alarmed.
“What?”
“I don’t know yet.”
For some reason, Rachel had to bite the inside of her cheek.
Noah nodded solemnly.
“Okay.”
Lily handed him the torn paper.
“You can throw this away.”
He took it.
“Okay.”
She turned toward the kitchen.
At the last step she looked back.
“You can still come to cake.”
Noah’s face changed.
He whispered, “Thanks.”
“Don’t make it weird.”
“I won’t.”
He absolutely made it weird.
When Emma and Ava arrived at one, Noah hovered around the kitchen offering drinks nobody requested. He brought Mr. Bell a napkin before the man had even sat down. He asked Sophie three times whether she wanted more strawberries.
Finally Lily said, “Stop being a waiter.”
Noah went red.
Mr. Bell, who knew nothing and missed nothing, said, “I’ve been saying that to restaurants for years.”
Lily laughed.
The laugh surprised her.
Rachel saw that.
For the next forty minutes, the house became almost ordinary.
The cake arrived with seven yellow candles.
Lily chose not to wear the birthday dress. She stayed in her pink T-shirt and leggings.
Rachel did not ask twice.
They sang.
Sophie came in early on the last line.
Mr. Bell sang badly on purpose.
Noah kept his hands in his pockets while Lily blew out the candles.
When Rachel cut the first slice, her phone vibrated.
Claire.
Rachel let it ring.
A minute later a message appeared.
Mom is home. She’s furious. I’m sorry.
Rachel put the phone face down.
Lily saw.
“Is it Grandma?”
“Claire.”
“What did she say?”
“That Grandma got home.”
“Is she coming back?”
“No.”
Rachel had not decided that until she said it.
The certainty surprised her.
Lily took a bite of cake.
“Okay.”
That evening, after Emma and Ava went home and Mr. Bell carried a paper plate of cake across the lawn, Rachel found Noah sitting on the front step.
The dark-red door stood open behind him.
Daylight had softened.
The overturned basket was upright beside the stairs now, filled with clean clothes Rachel had not found the energy to put away.
She sat beside Noah.
He did not look at her.
“How long am I grounded?”
“I haven’t decided.”
“That sounds worse than a number.”
“It probably is.”
He picked at a loose thread on his shorts.
“Am I never getting a bike?”
“That depends.”
“On what?”
“On whether I can trust you with money. Whether you understand why this happened. Whether you earn it instead of stealing it.”
He sighed.
“That’ll take forever.”
“Not forever.”
“Like a year?”
“I have no idea.”
He leaned forward.
Across the street, two boys rode scooters along the sidewalk.
Noah watched them.
After a while he said, “Owen already texted me.”
Rachel looked at him.
“What did he say?”
Noah handed her his phone.
Owen: Dude did you really steal 120 from your grandma
A second message:
Caleb told me
And then:
Why would you do that lol
Rachel handed the phone back.
“You want me to tell you what to say?”
“No.”
“Good.”
He stared at the screen.
“I don’t want to answer.”
“You don’t have to answer tonight.”
“Will you take my phone?”
“Yes.”
“Can I answer first?”
Rachel considered.
“Do you know what you want to say?”
Noah typed slowly.
Rachel deliberately looked away.
After a minute he showed her.
Yeah. I did. It was stupid. I gave it back.
Rachel read it.
“That’s enough.”
“You think he’ll show people?”
“Maybe.”
Noah groaned.
Rachel looked at him.
“You’re allowed to hate that.”
“I do.”
“You’re still responsible for what created it.”
“I know.”
He was quiet.
Then he said, “Grandma told me if Lily cried enough I’d tell.”
Rachel turned.
“What?”
Noah immediately looked frightened.
“When did she say that?”
“Before you got home.”
Rachel’s hands went cold.
“What exactly did she say?”
“I don’t remember exactly.”
“Tell me what you do remember.”
He swallowed.
“She said I was going to stand there until I told the truth.”
“And Lily?”
“She said Lily would lose the party and then I’d have to watch.”
Rachel stared toward the lawn.
“She said that?”
“Kind of.”
“What does kind of mean?”
“She said, ‘Maybe watching your sister lose something will help you find your conscience.’”
Rachel shut her eyes.
There it was.
A sentence from childhood.
Not those exact words.
May you like
The shape of it.
When Rachel was fifteen, she had secretly taken the family car after midnight. Claire, then six, had known and said nothing. Evelyn had grounded Claire too.
