Chương 7
“Did he ask you to tell anyone anything?”
“He asked if I wanted to live at his house more.”
“What did you say?”
“I said his house smells like the pool.”
Dana’s mouth moved slightly. It might have been the beginning of a smile.
“What did he say?”
“He said I would get used to it.”
After the interview, Dana asked Claire for copies of the custody agreement, Marcus’s visitation schedule, and any relevant messages. She also said Marcus’s home would be assessed.
“Will you take her away from me because I hit him?” Claire asked.
Dana closed her folder.
“Your action is part of the assessment. So is the context, your response afterward, your honesty, and whether there is an ongoing risk.”
“That is not an answer.”
“It is the answer I have today.”
Claire looked through the doorway. Lily had left the table and was lying on the living room rug, one mismatched sock lifted into the air.
Dana lowered her voice. “Do not make promises to her about outcomes you cannot control.”
“I already did.”
“Then correct them.”
That evening, Claire sat beside Lily on the back steps. The small garden smelled of wet soil from the sprinkler next door. Someone in the alley dragged a trash bin over uneven pavement.
“I said no one was taking me away,” Lily said after Claire explained.
“I shouldn’t have said it like I knew for certain.”
“Do they want to?”
“No one has said that.”
“But they could.”
“They make sure children are safe. I have to show them you are safe with me.”
“You are safe.”
“I think so.”
Lily frowned. “You think?”
“I know I love you. I know I will do everything I can to keep you safe. I also know I made a bad choice when I hit Dad.”
“He made the first bad choice.”
“Yes.”
“And the bigger one.”
“Yes.”
“Then why do they care about yours?”
Claire looked toward the brick wall at the end of the garden. A sparrow hopped along the top, stopped, and disappeared.
“Because people don’t get to excuse what they do by pointing to someone worse.”
Lily pulled one knee to her chest.
“That seems like a lot of rules.”
“It is.”
“Dad doesn’t like rules.”
“No.”
“Do you?”
“Only when they’re for other people.”
Lily looked at her, uncertain.
Claire smiled despite herself. “That was a joke.”
“It wasn’t very good.”
“No.”
Lily leaned against her side.
The police charged Marcus with misdemeanor assault against a child two days later. Claire received a summons related to her own strike but was not arrested. Mara explained that the prosecutor might offer a diversion program or decline to pursue the case, depending on evidence and circumstances.
Marcus’s attorney filed an emergency request for temporary supervised parenting time.
Claire expected him to avoid Lily. Instead he asked the court for permission to see her under professional supervision.
“He wants to look like a father,” Claire told Mara.
“Maybe.”
“You don’t believe that?”
“I believe motives can be mixed.”
“He hit her.”
“That does not mean he stopped loving her.”
Claire stared at her attorney across the conference table.
Mara removed her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Love does not make him safe. It also does not vanish because he did something terrible. We are not required to simplify him in order to protect her.”
Claire hated the sentence because it sounded true.
The court temporarily suspended unsupervised visits. Marcus was permitted one weekly hour at a family visitation center if Lily agreed to attend and the center approved the case.
Lily refused.
She was sitting at the kitchen island when Claire told her.
“No.”
“You don’t have to decide today.”
“I decided at the party.”
“You said that about loving him too.”
“I decided both.”
Claire peeled an orange, separating the skin in one long spiral. “The visit would have another adult in the room.”
“Will you be there?”
“No.”
“Then no.”
“All right.”
“When do I have to decide again?”
“You don’t.”
Lily looked suspicious. “Ever?”
“No one is going to drag you into a room with him. The adults may ask again later.”
“That means I have to keep deciding.”
Claire set the orange on a plate.
“Yes,” she said. “That’s probably what it means.”
Lily took one segment and held it without eating.
Marcus sent a handwritten letter through the visitation center.
Mara advised Claire to let Dana review it before Lily saw it. Dana found no threats or manipulation in the four sentences.
Lily,
I hit you. It was wrong. The card was not bad, and you did not embarrass me. I embarrassed myself. I am getting help. You do not have to answer me.
Dad
Claire read the letter three times.
She expected anger. What came instead was relief, and the relief made her angry.
“He had an attorney write it,” she told Evelyn.
They were sitting in a coffee shop halfway between their homes, meeting against Mara’s advice because Claire was tired of following every instruction given by people who did not have to live inside the choices.
Evelyn stirred sugar into coffee she had not tasted.
“He wrote it.”
“How do you know?”
“I was there.”
“You watched him?”
“He asked me how to spell embarrassed.”
Claire looked at her.
“He has a graduate degree.”
“He was upset.”
“People don’t forget spelling because they’re upset.”
“Marcus has always been terrible at double consonants.”
The absurdity of it broke something loose. Claire laughed once, then covered her mouth.
Evelyn gave a tired smile. “He spelled it with one r and two s’s.”
“That’s not even a predictable mistake.”
“I told him that.”
They sat in silence while the espresso machine hissed behind the counter.
“How is he?” Claire asked eventually.
“Do you care?”
May you like
“I don’t know.”
“He’s staying in my guest room. The company placed him on leave. He begins an anger intervention program on Monday. He has a therapist. He hasn’t had alcohol since the party.”
