Chương 9
They communicated through lawyers about property still stored at each other’s homes and through the foundation when necessary.
Then, unexpectedly, she texted.
I found your father’s watch.
Adrian stared at the message.
He had been looking for it since Robert died.
Where?
Blue suitcase in the guest closet.
Can I send it?
I’ll get it.
She did not answer for nine minutes.
Fine. Tomorrow 6.
Claire lived in the Back Bay townhouse they had once planned to renovate together.
Adrian arrived walking with a cane.
He left the wheelchair in the car because the stairs were narrow and because he knew if he arrived in it they would both spend the first ten minutes thinking about the same thing.
Claire opened the door wearing jeans and a gray sweater.
He had not seen her without makeup in almost a year.
For one humiliating moment, he loved her.
Then it passed into something less dangerous.
She stepped aside.
“Kitchen.”
The watch sat on the counter.
Robert’s old Omega.
Scratched crystal.
Brown leather strap.
Adrian picked it up.
His father had worn it even after Adrian bought him something far more expensive for his sixtieth birthday.
“He said expensive watches made strangers curious,” Adrian said.
Claire leaned against the refrigerator.
“He liked strangers being curious.”
“Only when he controlled the answer.”
She looked at him.
Adrian smiled faintly.
“Yeah.”
Claire folded her arms.
Her eyes went to his cane.
“How’s the hip?”
“Better.”
“I mean it.”
“I know.”
He slipped the watch into his pocket.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He should have left.
Neither moved.
Finally Claire said, “Grant and I broke up.”
Adrian’s stomach tightened.
“I heard.”
“Of course you did.”
“Samuel told me.”
“Samuel knows everything.”
“He doesn’t. He pretends.”
“Like your father.”
“Less charming.”
Claire smiled despite herself.
Then the smile disappeared.
“I’m sorry I touched your chair.”
Adrian looked at her.
“I said it publicly. I wanted to say it to you.”
“Thank you.”
“There’s no excuse.”
“No.”
Her jaw tightened slightly.
He knew she wanted him to soften the answer.
Once, he would have.
Not because he was kind.
Because softening people’s apologies made them owe him emotional gratitude.
He stayed quiet.
Claire looked toward the sink.
“I hated that chair.”
“I know.”
“Not because it was a wheelchair.”
Adrian waited.
“I hated what happened to us around it.”
He leaned against the counter because his hip had begun to ache.
Claire noticed.
“I thought you were watching me all the time.”
“I was.”
“I know that now.”
“I’m sorry.”
She looked at him.
His apology seemed to surprise her.
“I thought if I asked whether you were getting better, you’d think I only cared because I wanted you fixed.”
“I probably would have.”
“So I stopped asking.”
“I noticed.”
“Of course you did.”
Adrian looked down.
Claire continued.
“Then you stopped telling me anything. Your mother knew. Your therapist knew. Samuel knew. I found out you’d walked across your apartment from your housekeeper.”
“I wasn’t hiding it.”
“Adrian.”
He nodded.
“I was hiding it.”
“Why?”
He thought about giving the clean answer.
Because I wanted to know whether you loved me.
It sounded noble.
It was not the whole truth.
“I wanted you to fail.”
Claire went very still.
The refrigerator hummed.
A car horn sounded outside.
Adrian continued.
“After I found those messages with Grant, I wanted proof I was right about you.”
“You found messages where I told him I was unhappy.”
“And that you missed him.”
“Yes.”
“And that you thought about kissing him.”
“Yes.”
Her voice shook.
“But I didn’t.”
“I know.”
“You acted like I had.”
“I know.”
Claire rubbed her palms against her jeans.
“So you made yourself helpless.”
“I let you think I was.”
“To see if I’d leave.”
“Yes.”
“And when I did?”
“I felt vindicated.”
Her eyes filled.
She looked furious about it.
“Congratulations.”
“I didn’t say I was proud.”
“You stood up in that ballroom like you were.”
Adrian swallowed.
“Yes.”
Claire wiped beneath one eye.
“You know what I wanted when I grabbed that chair?”
“To humiliate me.”
“Yes.”
He appreciated the honesty.
She laughed once, miserably.
“I wanted everyone to see you the way I felt you saw me. Small. Exposed. Unable to control the room.”
“That’s a terrible reason.”
“I know.”
They stood facing each other in the kitchen they had once planned to enlarge by removing a wall.
Claire looked at the cane.
“I shouldn’t have touched it.”
“No.”
“You shouldn’t have tested me.”
“No.”
“I shouldn’t have taken Grant’s money without disclosing it.”
“No.”
“You enjoy saying no.”
“A little.”
She almost laughed.
Then she did.
It surprised both of them.
Adrian smiled.
For one second they were who they had been before everything became evidence.
Claire wiped her face.
“Do you hate me?”
Adrian thought.
“No.”
She looked disappointed.
He understood.
Hatred would have been cleaner.
“Do you love me?”
He looked toward the window.
“I don’t know what version of you I loved.”
Claire nodded slowly.
“That’s fair.”
“And you?”
“I loved being chosen by you.”
The answer hurt.
She continued before he could respond.
“Then I hated being evaluated by you. Then I confused somebody wanting me without questions with somebody loving me better.”
“Grant?”
“Yes.”
“Did he?”
“Maybe. Badly.”
Adrian smiled faintly.
“We all seem talented at that.”
Claire looked at him for a long time.
“Were you ever going to marry me?”
“Yes.”
“Even after the messages?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s not yes.”
“No.”
They both accepted it.
Adrian walked toward the door.
Claire followed.
At the threshold, she said, “The girl from the ballroom.”
“Elena.”
“I know her name.”
He turned.
Claire looked embarrassed.
“I sent her an apology.”
Adrian raised an eyebrow.
“She didn’t answer.”
“That sounds like Elena.”
“You know her?”
“A little.”
Claire studied his face.
Adrian recognized the old jealousy arriving.
Then Claire laughed at herself.
“I was about to ask something ugly.”
“Progress.”
“Shut up.”
May you like
He smiled.
She opened the door.
