Chương 12
I looked at Lily.
Her fingers had found the seam of my shirt.
She rubbed it back and forth between her thumb and forefinger.
“Then we do it.”
Daniel nodded.
There was no discussion.
That frightened me in a different way.
Daniel and I discussed everything.
We once spent two evenings debating whether a bookcase should go in the living room or upstairs hallway.
Now there were decisions neither of us needed to debate because the alternative felt unthinkable.
Reyes gave us a card with the report number handwritten on the back.
He also told us not to engage with Patricia’s friends or relatives if they contacted us.
“Save everything.”
“What if they threaten us?”
“Call the police.”
“What if they just insult us?”
Daniel asked.
Reyes almost smiled.
“That part is your judgment.”
The officer who had taken my statement returned with printed pages for me to review.
I found three mistakes.
One was the color of Patricia’s coat.
It had been camel, not gray.
One was the direction I had been facing when she reached Lily.
The third was my father’s date of death.
Seeing it wrong on an official document made me irrationally angry.
I corrected all three.
The officer initialed the changes.
Then there was nothing left to do.
After hours of questions, I had expected some ceremonial ending.
Instead Reyes opened the door and said, “You’re free to go.”
Daniel picked up the diaper bag.
I unfolded the stroller even though I did not want Lily anywhere except against my body.
My hands fumbled with the latch twice.
Daniel reached for it.
“I can do it.”
“I know.”
I tried again.
The frame clicked open.
A completely useless victory.
In the hallway, Caleb was sitting alone on a bench.
He stood when he saw us.
His eyes went first to Lily.
Then to me.
“Can I help with the bags?”
“No.”
He nodded.
“Are you going to the hospital?”
I looked at Daniel.
Daniel looked at me.
Neither of us answered.
Caleb swallowed.
“Right.”
He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets.
“I get it.”
I wanted him to get it.
I also wanted to tell him exactly where we were going so he would not feel excluded.
The contradiction made my chest hurt.
“I need some space from you.”
I said.
His eyes reddened.
“Okay.”
“I don’t know how much.”
“Okay.”
“And I don’t want you giving Patricia anything about us.”
“I won’t.”
“Not where we are.”
“I won’t.”
“Not whether Lily is okay.”
He flinched.
That was the cruelest one.
I knew it as soon as I said it.
Still, I continued.
“Not whether we’re home, not whether we’re traveling, not what we’re doing with the trust, nothing.”
“She’s in jail.”
“For now.”
Caleb nodded slowly.
“Nothing.”
I looked at him.
“If she says Dad wanted something, you call me.”
“If she says she’s dying, you call an ambulance.”
Daniel glanced at me.
Caleb gave a broken little laugh.
It disappeared almost immediately.
“If she says she has another letter?”
“You call the police or the lawyer.”
“What lawyer?”
“I don’t know yet.”
That small uncertainty embarrassed me.
Everything had become legal language in a single morning, and we did not even have someone to translate it for us.
Caleb looked at the floor.
“I really am sorry.”
“I know.”
It was the closest I could get to forgiving him.
He seemed to understand.
He stepped back from the stroller.
“Tell Lily I love her when you can.”
I could not answer that.
We left him standing under a sign pointing toward ground transportation.
Nora met us near the curb outside arrivals with two coffees and a paper bag from a bakery.
She had parked illegally and was arguing with an airport employee when she saw me.
Her whole face changed.
She shoved one coffee into Daniel’s hand and wrapped both arms around me without asking.
Lily was between us.
“Careful.”
“I know.”
“You’re crushing the baby.”
“I’m not crushing the baby.”
Lily made a sound of protest.
Nora released me immediately.
“Sorry, small person.”
My eyes filled.
Nora looked at my face and stopped trying to be funny.
“Come here.”
This time she hugged me from the side.
I rested my forehead against her shoulder for maybe three seconds.
Then I straightened.
“We need to take Lily to be checked.”
“I’m driving.”
Daniel opened his mouth.
Nora pointed at him.
“You look like you might drive directly through a toll booth.”
“I can drive.”
“I know you can.”
She took his coffee back, opened the passenger door of her Subaru, and pointed.
“Sit.”
Daniel looked at me.
“Just sit.”
I said.
He sat.
Nora handed him the coffee again.
It was absurdly effective.
I climbed into the back with Lily.
Nora had already installed the old infant seat she kept because she occasionally watched her niece.
I stared at it.
“You brought a car seat?”
“You called from an airport with a baby.”
“I didn’t tell you we needed a ride.”
“You sounded like you needed everything.”
That nearly made me cry again.
I buckled Lily in.
She protested with sleepy outrage.
Nora handed me the paper bag.
“There’s a croissant in there.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Then hold it emotionally.”
Daniel snorted.
For the first time that day, the sound did not hurt.
We drove to a hospital without telling Caleb which one.
I turned off location sharing on my phone even though I had never shared my location with Patricia.
Then I checked Daniel’s phone.
Then Nora’s.
Then I checked mine again.
“You’re going to make yourself crazy.”
Nora said from the front.
“I know.”
“Okay.”
She did not tell me to stop.
At the hospital, we waited.
That was the part nobody put in dramatic stories.
After police and alarms and accusations, we sat under a television playing a daytime cooking show with the sound off.
May you like
A man across from us slept with his mouth open.
A little girl wearing purple rain boots lined up crackers on the arm of a chair.
