Chương 8
“I asked you for help.”
“I helped.”
“You told me it was an appeal.”
“It was.”
“You said Cal knew how to get it reviewed.”
“He did.”
“You didn’t say you were paying him.”
“I didn’t think you needed to know every detail.”
She laughed sharply.
“You keep saying that.”
Arthur looked stung.
“So now this is my fault?”
Fiona stopped.
“Are you serious?”
“I didn’t pin that badge on you.”
The words landed brutally.
Fiona’s face emptied.
Arthur seemed to regret them immediately.
But he didn’t take them back.
That was another family habit.
Regret without apology.
Donovan looked away.
I stared at Arthur.
For years, I had believed Fiona was his favorite because he loved her most.
Standing there, I wondered whether it was simpler.
Maybe he loved the version of himself he saw in her.
Winning.
Admired.
Untouchable.
And the moment she became a liability, he stepped aside.
Fiona removed the badge.
Nobody spoke.
She struggled with the clasp because her fingers were shaking.
When it finally came loose, she stared at the small piece of metal in her palm.
It looked suddenly ordinary.
Cheap, even.
She walked to the wooden counter and set it down.
The click against the surface was barely audible.
Donovan watched her do it.
His face softened.
Not enough to erase what had happened.
Enough to make her notice.
“I should’ve taken it off two months ago,” she said.
“Yes,” he said.
She nodded.
Tears filled her eyes.
She blinked them away angrily.
“I kept thinking if I passed the retest, then it would all become true.”
Nobody answered.
She gave a small shrug.
“That sounds stupid out loud.”
“It sounds scared,” I said.
She looked at me.
I almost regretted speaking.
Almost.
Arthur said, “You were going to pass.”
Fiona turned on him.
“That doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.”
“That’s the problem.”
He recoiled.
She pointed toward the badge.
“You made that thing matter more than whether I deserved it.”
“I wanted people to respect you.”
“No.”
Her voice broke.
“You wanted them impressed.”
Arthur stared at her.
“You think I pushed you because I wanted some trophy daughter?”
“Yes.”
The answer came so fast it shocked everyone.
Fiona pressed a hand to her mouth.
Then she laughed through the tears she was trying not to show.
“Yes, Dad.”
Arthur stood.
“That’s bullshit.”
“You introduced me tonight like I kill people for a living.”
“Because I’m proud of you.”
“You don’t even know what I do.”
He froze.
Fiona’s breathing quickened.
“You never ask.”
“That’s not true.”
“You ask if I’m winning.”
Arthur shook his head.
“You’re twisting everything.”
“Am I?”
“Yes.”
“When Mom got sick, you asked me if taking leave would hurt my promotion.”
His face changed.
I felt the memory before I fully placed it.
Hospital parking garage.
Fiona sitting on the hood of her car, furious.
Arthur calling.
Fiona hanging up.
At the time, she told me he was worried about her job.
Maybe she had translated it kindly.
Arthur said, “I was trying to protect your future.”
Fiona laughed.
“There is always a noble version.”
He looked toward me, perhaps expecting support.
I gave him none.
Donovan leaned against one of the posts.
His phone buzzed.
He checked the screen.
“People are asking where we are.”
Nobody responded.
He typed something and put the phone away.
“What did you tell them?”
Fiona asked.
“That we need a minute.”
She smiled sadly.
“Good luck with that.”
He looked at her.
“We do.”
Her eyes dropped.
He added, “More than a minute.”
Fiona’s chin tightened.
I could see her preparing for another blow.
“Are you ending this?”
Donovan inhaled.
“No.”
Relief moved across her face too quickly.
He held up a hand.
“I’m also not pretending tonight didn’t happen.”
She nodded slowly.
“I need space.”
“How much?”
“I don’t know.”
“When should I call you?”
“I don’t know.”
Her face crumpled again.
“Please stop saying that.”
“I’m not going to invent answers because you’re scared.”
She wiped under one eye with the heel of her hand.
“I hate you when you’re reasonable.”
“Yeah.”
His mouth twitched faintly.
“I get that a lot.”
The tiny humor almost undid her.
She turned away.
I looked at the folder in my hands.
There was one thing left.
The thing I had hoped not to say in front of anyone.
It no longer felt possible to avoid.
“The review isn’t finished.”
Arthur stiffened.
Fiona turned.
“What do you mean?”
“The discrepancy was referred up.”
Her face went pale again.
“When?”
“Yesterday.”
“To who?”
“I’m not allowed to discuss every detail.”
She laughed bitterly.
“Now you care about procedure?”
“That’s fair.”
The words stopped her.
I continued.
“But you need to understand this isn’t just a family problem anymore.”
Arthur stepped forward.
“Can you stop it?”
“No.”
“You submitted it.”
“I processed what I was required to process.”
“Can you withdraw it?”
“No.”
“Joselyn.”
“No.”
His eyes narrowed.
“You could try.”
I looked at him.
There it was.
The old expectation.
Be useful.
Fix the mess.
Absorb the discomfort.
Protect the family.
I closed the folder.
“I won’t.”
Arthur stared at me.
Fiona did too.
He spoke first.
“So that’s it?”
“What does that mean?”
“You’re just going to let your sister’s career get destroyed.”
Fiona whispered, “Dad, stop.”
“No.”
He pointed at me.
“She has a choice.”
“I don’t.”
“You always have a choice.”
“I do.”
I felt my voice steady.
“And I’m making it.”
Arthur’s face twisted.
“Against your own sister.”
Fiona stepped between us.
“No.”
He looked at her.
She wiped her face again.
“No, she’s not.”
Arthur stared.
Fiona glanced at the badge on the counter.
Then at me.
“She’s doing what I should’ve done when I found out.”
Her voice shook.
“But I’m going to need one thing from you.”
I waited.
“No special treatment.”
“You won’t get any.”
“No protecting me because you feel guilty.”
I swallowed.
“You won’t get that either.”
May you like
She nodded.
Then she looked at Donovan.
