Chương 6
My mother’s eyes hardened.
“That was cruel.”
“Yes.”
For once, I did not take it back.
My father returned carrying three coffees and a bottle of water.
He stopped when he saw our faces.
“I got decaf for you, Evelyn.”
“I don’t want it.”
He looked at me.
“Clara?”
“No.”
He sat the drinks on a side table.
Megan returned a minute later.
Her eyes were red, but she had fixed her hair.
She sat beside me instead of beside my mother.
That tiny choice did not go unnoticed.
My mother noticed everything that suggested disloyalty.
“Did you talk to your mother?” she asked.
Megan nodded.
“What did she say?”
“That she’s coming tomorrow.”
My mother frowned.
“From Columbus?”
“Yes.”
“That seems unnecessary.”
Megan turned her head slowly.
“My husband has leukemia.”
“I only meant the drive.”
“No, you didn’t.”
My father picked up his coffee and stared into the lid.
Daniel called again.
This time Megan answered.
She listened for a few seconds.
“What?”
Her expression changed.
She looked at me.
“Say that again.”
Daniel repeated something.
Megan’s face lost color.
“What is it?” my mother asked.
Megan held up one finger.
Then she said into the phone, “When?”
Daniel spoke.
Megan closed her eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He answered.
Her mouth opened, then shut.
She put the receiver down without saying goodbye.
“What happened?” I asked.
She looked through the glass at him.
Daniel stared back.
“He paid them.”
My father stopped moving.
My mother said, “Paid who?”
Megan looked at her.
“You.”
Silence.
My mother laughed nervously.
“What are you talking about?”
“Daniel says he gave you money after Lily died.”
I looked at my brother.
He had gone very still behind the glass.
My father set his coffee down.
“How much?”
Megan’s eyes remained on Daniel.
“Fifty thousand dollars.”
My mother’s face changed so quickly I almost missed it.
Fear.
Not surprise.
Fear.
I stood.
“Mom.”
She shook her head.
“No.”
“Did Daniel give you fifty thousand dollars?”
“It wasn’t like that.”
My father turned toward her.
“Evelyn.”
She snapped, “You knew he gave us money.”
“I knew about ten.”
Daniel picked up the phone again and pointed at me.
I answered.
His voice was weaker now.
“I gave them fifty.”
“When?”
“Six weeks after the funeral.”
“Why?”
He looked at our parents.
“Because I found out what the house actually cost.”
“You said Dad wouldn’t tell you.”
“He didn’t.”
“Then how did you find out?”
“Megan found the closing statement.”
Megan looked down.
Daniel continued.
“She was looking for the property tax paperwork.”
I stared at my mother.
“What did you do with the money?”
She looked at my father.
He looked genuinely lost.
“Evelyn?”
She stood.
“It was not all at once.”
“What wasn’t?”
“I moved some of it.”
“Where?”
She did not answer.
My father stepped closer.
“Where did you put Daniel’s money?”
She looked at him with something close to contempt.
“Do not pretend you suddenly care about accounting.”
“I care where fifty thousand dollars went.”
“It went where it needed to go.”
My stomach tightened.
“What does that mean?”
She looked at me.
For the first time that evening, she seemed afraid of me rather than my decision.
“I sent some to Boston.”
The hallway disappeared around the sentence.
I gripped the phone.
“What?”
My mother swallowed.
“After Lily died.”
Nobody moved.
Even Daniel went silent on the line.
I heard my own breathing.
“You sent money to the clinic after she died?”
“Not the clinic.”
“Then where?”
She sat down again.
“To the hospital foundation.”
My father stared at her.
“You donated it?”
“Part of it.”
“How much?”
“Twenty-five thousand.”
My mouth went dry.
“Why?”
Her voice cracked.
“Because I thought it might help another child.”
Something broke loose in my chest, not grief exactly and not anger because anger was too small.
“You let my daughter die without helping, then gave money away so you could feel like the kind of person who helps dying children.”
My mother covered her face.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No, Clara.”
“Yes.”
I stepped backward because suddenly standing near her felt physically impossible.
Megan rose as if to steady me.
I moved away from her too.
My father whispered, “What happened to the other twenty-five?”
My mother did not answer.
He repeated the question.
She lowered her hands.
“I kept it.”
“For what?”
She looked at Daniel through the glass.
Then at me.
Her bracelet started clicking again.
This time she did not stop it.
“For Clara.”
I laughed because nothing else came.
“For me.”
“I opened an account.”
My father stared at her.
“What account?”
“A savings account.”
“In her name?”
“No.”
“Then it is not her account.”
My mother ignored him.
“I thought someday she might need something.”
I looked at her.
“Someday.”
“Yes.”
“Lily needed something.”
“I know.”
“Three years ago.”
“I know.”
“Ninety-two thousand dollars.”
Her face crumpled.
“I know.”
I took one step closer.
“You had twenty-five thousand dollars sitting in an account for me after refusing to spend money on my dying child.”
“I was trying to make sure you had something left.”
“I had something left.”
She stared at me.
“Her empty bedroom.”
No one spoke.
The phone was still in my hand.
Daniel’s breathing came through it softly.
Then he said, “Clare.”
I lifted it back to my ear.
“What?”
“There’s something else.”
My mother looked sharply toward the glass.
Daniel saw her.
He looked at me and said, “The fifty thousand wasn’t the only money I gave them.”
I stared through the glass until Daniel looked away.
“How much?”
He rubbed his thumb along the edge of the whiteboard.
“Twenty.”
My father said, “Twenty what?”
“Twenty thousand.”
My mother closed her eyes.
I lifted the receiver tighter against my ear.
“When?”
“About eight months later.”
“What for?”
He did not answer immediately.
Megan stood beside me now, one hand pressed flat against her stomach.
“Daniel.”
May you like
He looked at her.
“I told Mom I wanted it to go to Clara.”
